Well it was THAT time again, as my buddies in Red Leather and I has such an amazing time last year that we talked about it in the year since and despite the severely lacking desirable lineup this year, we realized that we were going more for us and the time that we would share that no band come close to competing with. As much as we had last year, financially, this festival took a hit, so to try to remedy that, they laid off the steady diet of Hair Bands and tried to even things out. I for one much prefer the 80s excess, but the people that care about that stuff for the most part are white trash, that don’t have the money to support something like this.
What started out as a joke we suspected we had taken too far last year just by simply going became a much anticipated adventure that again was not the destination of seeing any bands rather than the bands would be a mere backdrop to our comedy act regardless of who was playing. Literally for a year when I would see these guys we would reference some inside joke that shaped last year’s laugh-a-thon and looked forward to what this year would bring.
May 28th 2010 – Day 1
So this much anticipated day had finally arrived and I made it to Dallas where drummer Paul picked me up and his authentic, spastic, energy already set the tone before we even met up with the other guys. Paul is one of those guys that you can’t help but like, he will exhaust you with his lust for life and have you pissing your pants with his spot on impressions (this year’s obsession was his uncanny ability to perform any of Jack Black‘s dialog from Nacho LIbre on command).
We meet up with ringleader Chaz and Mr. Johnny on the Spot himself, our unofficial Tour Manager Steve, who had secured a totally righteous RV for us in addition to the van we rode in last year. If you have read the entry from last year you know that much to my surprise and benefit that this guy has his shit together like no other and last year made us the envy of every camper there by providing us with every convenience you could want in those conditions. He was out to step his game up this year and boy did her ever. It wasn’t enough that we had (shared) beds and air conditioning last year, this year my man got us a fucking apartment on wheels. Our own bathroom with shower and sink, our own bunks and fully functional kitchen and dining area. Our shit was stacked.
My face was already sore from laughing so hard for the entire 5 hour ride from Dallas to Tulsa, when we pulled into the campgrounds around 6pm. We all got to work immediately in our roles. Steve and Chaz do camp setup while Paul plays DJ and get high, and I as the Producer by getting us checked in, securing our laminates and taking care of all the business needs that ensure that we are taken care of all weekend.
We could hear Buckcherry doing their stripper anthem Crazy Bitch as we were getting it together and we all smiled at each other with a knowing look of the significance that this song takes on in this environment. I came back from production with our laminates as they were finished with setup and now we were ready for some free booze and to hear some music. We make our way to the backstage catering tent for the beer and proceed to mainstage. I’ll be honest, the band that was playing, Three Days Grace, I had never heard of, and then I heard their hit, that I’m sure I’ve heard at least once. To be honest with you, I could care less, as they didn’t interest me in the least but it didn’t stop us from still carrying on the laughter, and the excitement of just being there and being together was more than enough.
They are the perfect example of derivative and flaccid swill that is perfect for mass consumption, yet I’m still surprised at their level of popularity. Well I wasn’t here to complain so I stuck it out, but this band is just freaking painful.
She presents us with this special bottle of Black Seal Rum only made in Bermuda, and the shit is not only expensive, but deadly. Like its almost 200 Proof!!
We thanked her for the gift and put it away for now, though it was a long day of driving, getting setup, then rawking, I still wanted to have a walk around the campsite to see what was going on and what mischief I could get into.
I found that Jagermeister was having a little late night thing in the vendors campgrounds so I checked that out solo for a bit, then headed back to camp Red Leather. When I returned the gang was wrapping up for the night so to propose a toast to our first night and making it there safely, we whipped out the Bermuda poison. Keep in mind it was wrapped in a way that we didn’t know yet its proof or its lethality.
I’m not a drinker at all so you can imagine my horror when I went we decided to shoot this stuff and I swear it was like I had swallowed gasoline. Chaz, that sneaky fucker, only held his to his mouth and was waiting to see what I would do and hadn’t drank his like I had.
Stop, drop, and roll.May 29th 2010 – Day 2
We get it going and really enjoying this tour bus accommodations. Having my own bed and us having our own bathroom freaking ruled.
After sleeping in, we finally make it to the catering tent for a late lunch, and I fell asleep after in the air conditioning.We had time to see walked around the grounds to see what else was going on. That’s something that we didn’t do last year, we usually were escorted via gold cart backstage and never left so I was determined to see this thing and get a feel of the people and take a few photos of the crowd this year. One of them decided to take a pic of us.:
I have no idea what we are looking at but since its a rock show I’ll just pretend its the line from Girls Girls Girls :“Hey Paul, check that out man! Paul: – “Where Roy where?!” – “Right there!”
Next up was Cinderella, a band that holds a special place for me as my first concert when I was 12 was seeing them open for the mighty David Lee Roth and I can’t recall, but I don’t think I’ve seen them since then.
I know they have had their problems over the years. I didn’t even recognize bassist Eric Brittingham as he looked more like Green Day than the dude on the poster from my childhood bedroom.
. Cinderella was always one of the better glam/rock bands of its era, mixing a touch of Stones-like rock and blues into its riff-driven hard rock sound. Guitarist Jeff Labar still looks like he hasn’t slept since the show I saw as a kid. The only noticeable thing that was off was during the song Push, Push was that the backup vocals were louder than Keifer’s lead but I’m sure it was just an oversight from the soundboard.
We had a quite a bit of time to kill before ZZ Top so we did the usual of going to the catering tent, where we met back up with our Bermudian friend. Now, she is a gracious, lovely girl, but like last year, she had decided to fixate on a member of our crew in a bizarre and unhealthy way. I say this because it was disturbing to see an older woman, literally cry in public over a complete stranger, half her age. I wanted to comfort her, but the only conclusion I could come up with, is that she is having a hard time aging and securing the affection of a much younger man, in her mind, had become her self-worth. So when the affection was not returned, she just had a freaking meltdown. Totally weird.
So up next was ZZ Top, a band that I’ve always wanted to see, but also one of those bands that for whatever reason you just don’t prioritize. So I was happy that they were here because otherwise, I probably would never make the effort to see them solo.
But not anymore, as now after seeing them I will do my best to do so again, because they were really awesome and fun.
So that concluded the music for Day 2,
We make it back and we are not there 10 mins before Tina is calling me (I gave her my card about some upcoming business in town)
saying that the party had got broken up, so I invited them over to our campsite and the funniest thing was that we were on the far opposite side, and at point I had to use the stripper pole as a reference point when giving directions. Now where else would that happen?
They arrive: Stephanie is very butch and loud, but funny, Tina was the cheerleader in school that you never hooked up with, and Mary was just a freak of nature and the one I spoke with the most once they got there.
Chaz is loading everyone up on the punch and its not long before our site is the place to be so we attracted a few stragglers along the way. Mary was cracking me up as she was so over the top with her jokes that I mention it because she had some lines that were repeated for the rest of the weekend.May 30th 2010 – Day 3
So we wake up the next day and I don’t normally drink alot and I still didn’t but that Black Seal was like Black Death. We all had our determinations of the day: Paul has been talking about seeing Sevendust since we left Dallas, as its apparently his favorite band. Now, nothing against those guys, but the last I knew of them was I got to be real friendly with their singer Lajon and guitarist John like a thousand years ago while working a record label, but I certainly didn’t know they had the ability to obtain fve band status of anyone.
Sevendust didn’t really fit to be honest, and were way too heavy and got a really bad time slot. If they had played one of the smaller stages later tonight it would have been a blowout, but to ask people to listen to music that heavy, that early, when it was that hot, is asking alot. Didn’t stop Paul though, in fact he was so vocal of his adoration that band members heard him from the stage and he was making them smile and laugh in acknowledgment.
TWEETS
“Tesla is from the meth capital of the world. It only shows a little.”
“a night of unspeakable debauchery. When giving directions to my campsite i had 2 tell 3 girls to take a left at the wet-tshirt contest.”
“1st band I ever saw was Cinderella when I was 12. Last night I saw them 4 the 1st time since. ALOT has changed.”
“Woke to the sound of busmates quoting Nacho Libre and girls in booty shorts playing Frisbee outside my window.
“meth must be a hell of a drug. Meet me by the port-a-shitter.”
“just landed in Tulsa, OK here comes 4 days of hillbilly foolishness freaking 80s style.”
Alot of people were there to see them and they came out guns-a-blazing, Christina Scabbia looked great, sounded great, the whole bit. But here was something that I didn’t know, was that they have a male co-vocalist, that is completely unnecessary and only serves to take away from what she is laying down. It makes no sense, as usual the singer is the focus, and when your singer looks like that, what’s the problem? why share that with someone, who can’t sing at all and when he does his thing it just shits all over what she’s doing. It made me feel like this guy is in the band because they don’t have the heart to tell him he sucks. Completely made no sense to me.
Barely had taken advantage of our credentials, we decided to do it right and all of us went to the very front. Like if we had been any closer, we would have been Tesla.
They came out like this was just the Tulsa stop on their current tour and didn’t really play up the whole festival atmosphere. But I can’t fuck with them as they sounded really good, and for the singer’s complete and utter lack of self-awareness, he was hitting all the notes.
Maybe not since the diabolical Ron Keel of last year have I seen someone so embarrassing in their emoting. This guy was so high on meth/cocaine or whatever that he had that constant twitch and we were so close we could see him grinding his teeth. Their were alot of technical shit that was falling apart that I’m not sure that the fans caught if you weren’t so close, but again they still kicked ass and I probably enjoyed their set the most. We were so dehydrated and exhausted by this time that though I tried to sing outloud, nothing would barely come out haha. It was a great way to end the music as we hung tight all weekend but almost never were all four of us in the same place so I’m glad that happened at the end.
The gang headed back to camp and I was in desperate need to hit the showers. When I returned to camp Steve was nowhere to be found (later to be discovered sleeping in the van) and Chaz and Paul were entertaining our next door neighbors from Kansas, who had been coming over to steal our beer all weekend. Feeling good from the shower, I decided we should go out with a blast. Chaz had been bugging me about hearing one of my mixtapes from my DJ gigs, so I put one on. Chaz plays bartender and suddenly theirs half naked fat chicks from Kansas dancing on our bus. Does the comedy ever stop? Until next year….
Photographers:
Roy Turner
Bill Narum
Mike Long
