We awoke to Day 4 still shaking our heads from the baffling dysfunction of the past few days and that their was a new car in the driveway for our use free of charge. I messaged Mr.Bailey and asked if it would be ok if we returned the car only after we had heard from the dealership and of course he said ok. We didn’t hear from them before I had to get downtown for biz.
Day 4 – Mar 12th
Of course now that we were properly dressed, now the sun was out and now that we actually had a car, I was really privy to just how bad the parking situation was/had gotten. Believe it or not (due to our early start time) we managed to find a spot without too much trouble before heading to our first event of the day.
Vintage Clothing Arcade – Valhalla 710 Red River
The reason why we were here was to catch up with the Death Set, some old friends of mine and who will forever be synonomous with TrickyKid and SXSW after our 2011 boxing ring event made headlines worldwide. When we got there however there had been a schedule change and the Death Set were no longer appearing at this event. We had some time to kill and I was still waiting to hear from the car dealership so we decided to stay put and that was a wise choice for a number of reasons.
Not only was this place crawling with hot girls everywhere, the bartender recognized me and were giving us free Heineken, I could get phone reception and actually hear when the dealership did call – They said that the car would be ready by 5pm today but there was no way we would make it in time. So I scrambles to secure that it would be ok to return the rental in the morning and pick up our car then as well. Yes was said to both – ok cool now we can relax.
Another reason was it gave us a chance to experience what SXSW was originally and supposed to still be about and that’s discovering brand new music that you didn’t know existed two seconds prior and our fist taste of it came in the form of a local group of young, young Nirvana/Sonic Youth obsessed locals called Residual Kid –
They were exactly what this festival is supposed to be about – The real deal – It was so enjoyable to watch them – Not just because of the novelty that they were so young but because they were so good. It was odd but refreshing to see that Nirvana & Sonic Youth have become Classic Rock to a new generation and that these guys look to these bands they way we did to bands that came before us like Led Zeppelin etc. It was just weird to think that stuff I listened to that was current when I was in High School is being looked at that way i.e. I’m old – but probably not by everyone- you could tell that these were the coolest kids in 6th grade with supportive musical parents. One of the kids was even wearing a t-shirt from fellow local Austin rawkers and former TrickyKid alumni the Blind Pets.
We still had some time so we stuck around when Jess discovered that Japanther was playing. Keep in mind she has no idea who is playing this festival at all.
All she knows is that Nick Cave is playing tomorrow and she wanted to spend her Spring Break with me – other than that she is blindly following/trusting me from event to event, so this was a good chance for her to see something unexpected that she enjoys.
I’m a good boyfriend so I tolerated it but man do they suck – They are all that I don’t like – Sure I appreciate the two-man lo-fi DIY attack and all, but they have zero songs and ultimately I just don’t give a fuck. Soon we made our first of seveal trips over to Rainey St. The more enjoyable bastard cousin of 6th St.
Reepherbahn Burgers Party w/ Bonaparte – German Haus – Icenhauer’s – 83 Rainey Street 5-8pm
Ok so in an increasingly weird trip that was only getting weirder, we trekked over to Rainey St which is on the other side of the convention center. Its must less stressful over there. We were going to meet up with some German film makers, musicians & tech people I know/wanted to speak with from my years of working with Peaches/Sweet Machine. We get over there and they were being a little tight with the list but I pulled Jessica in and starving we made our way to the buffet.
It was beautiful day and we were starting to enjoy better times, they had Stella flowing and free German burgers. I ran into my old pal & DJ Cohort, Eric Castillo from Houston and its always good to see him. We are eating and laughing in this awesome courtyard outback when this dude takes this little makeshift stage and started spouting shit that remained in our vernacular for the rest of the trip and perhaps our lives. That’s not necessarily a good thing depending on if your asking me or Jessica –
He was performing under the name Bonaparte, just him and a guitar but after Jessica forced me to Google him it’s clear now that he came alone with no equipment for expense purposes but in his videos he’s performing a surreal, and especially grating type of German techno pop. Jessica absolutely loved it and wouldn’t shut up about him for the rest of the trip – especially after he delivered this little gem describing the song Computer in Love as “a gloryhole to the universe” –
We were screaming laughing and we were well overdue for a laugh – clink on the link and you will see what I mean, however I think there are probably alot of people in Europe who take this very seriously.
I almost started screaming in a less whimishcal way, when we were talking with the documentary film makers when out of the blue Jessica blurts out my idea for my first film that I’m currently in pre-productiuon on – She didn’t tell it to a gas station attendant in Dubuque, Iowa – she told it to a documentary film maker at one of the biggest FILM FESTIVALS on the planet!! –
I was about to feed her to Bonaparte for this and have him take her back to Germany with him (though the way she was looking at him, I think she not protest too much) – On to the Fader Fort!
The Della and Intel preview event w/ Matt & Kim – the Fader Fort – I35 & 5th st.
Ok so the Fader Fort is this little sanctuary right across from the freeway that is easily the most popular destination of the conference and has been for the last few years. For one it spells status to young people as Fader Magazine and its co-sponsor Levi’s do a pretty good job of towing the line with new acts and surprise established acts making appearences. For the younger set, this is the place to be – plus it had unlimited free beer, water, shade, internet bar, nice bathrooms and a place to charge your phone and sit down and all sorts of things.
Oddly I forgot to RSVP this year and it didn’t really matter because their wasn’t anyone I really wanted to see besided the Afghan Whigs reunion happening on Friday that was happening at the same time as something I wanted to see greater.
Ironically I got an invitation to an even at the Fader Fort that was happening a day before the Fader Fort opened – so your FF wristband wouldn’t have got you into this anyway. It was a preview event for Della and Intel with entertainment being provided by Matt & Kim who are very Fader Fort-y and I’ve seen them here a bunch of times at the Fort. In fact, I am not what you would call a committed Matt & Kim fan though I never regret attending their shows as they are always so fun, but thanks to SXSW I have seen this band seriusly over 35 times (that and living in Brooklyn for the past 7 years) because they will come here and play 15 times and you will end up seeing them like 4 times without even trying.
This was only event that I knew of that they were doing and it was a private event –
The results are clearly joyous, but it’s a little disheartening to see how much they rely on a laptop to cue up backing tracks. At one point it broke, so the set stalled, prompting Kim to tell a story of SXSW drunkeness from the band’s past. We first saw them at a small lot party back at SXSW 2006. No laptop was needed then to rock the crowd.
VEVO TV Control Room w/ Haim – 304 w 4th St
So our next order of business was to meet up with some potential advertisers at Vevo and so we set sail for where they had set up camp and ran into not one but two fellow nerds that share my even nerdier tattoo of a certain 80s military force.
After waiting in line for what seemed like an eternity we finally are let in, but not before getting to enjoy watching Shephard Fairey finish up one of many murals he had designed throughout the festival – This one has good subject matter:
They had a nice little setup in a large, spacious courtyard that had tiki torches, free booze and a DJ – looked like Miami, except it didn’t feel like Miami as it was freezing outside. Four days in and all the stress I was starting to feel the burn of SXSW. In past years four days was my entire visit, have no idea why I signed up for 9 this year.
I went inside to use the restroom and I saw a crew striking a tiny stage in the corner with a few people standing around it. Since the space outside was so large and there were so many people here I assumed they band was playing outside but when asked I was told they were playing inside.
Now I had never heard, nor even heard of this band, but I heard that their were some cute girls in it so fuck it. I was also quite sure that the “their playing inside” thing was not common knowledge and their was no way all these people were gonna fit into that tiny room. So I went and retrieved Jess and told her that if we hoped to have any chance to see this band we must get our asses in there now.
It must have seemed we were their biggest fans since we were standing so close to this tiny little stage that by the time people caught wind like we did it pushed us up right against it.
After being cramped and waiting forever for Haim, a band that we don’t know and getting irritable, finally the band takes the stage and suddenly I’m in Jewish Girl heaven.
As they were starting this obnoxious English girl steps on everyone to get to the front sets her purse down on the amp next to Jess and tells her to watch it for her as she stumbles back to the bar for more booze. This kept happening without any consideration for anyone about every 20 mins for the rest of the night until I thought Jess was gonna murder her and this was only after this specific type of Eurotrash that I’ve sadly dealt with many times before was screaming every lyric right behind our ears and that was only when she wasn’t taking hundreds of pics of herself the whole time.
But on the other side of the stage was this group of young lesbian woman that were fanatical – and seriously crying the whole time! It was like watching the Beatles, the crowd was exploding! Who the fuck were these girls?
What we learned from the show was that they were three Jewish sisters from Los Angeles who had been different configurations of bands before (together & separate) until they formed this band together. However, their first album isn’t even out yet – how have they stirred up THIS much hysteria??
I found myself caught up in it – sure they were attractive, but not like knuckle-biting hot, but the way they moved, especially the keyboardist/guitarist and they played so well that they whole thing was incredibly hot and totally entertaining. I found myself looking for their videos when I got home and they didn’t really do anything for me, but live they were fucking kick ass and one of the best things we saw the entire festival and one of the most talked about.
The Glitoris Party – Barbarella – 7th & Red River St.
Ok so the end of the evening had nothing to do with SXSW, it was more of a gift to Jessica for putting up with me and my schedule all day and go do something that had nothing to do with business that she would enjoy. Quite frankly I was tired and we had to return this car first thing in the morning and keep in mind this was the first time since we have been here that we knew we had a stable ride home and I was determined to get it back to Mr.Bailey in one piece for his kindness.
Jess however was raring to go to this party after all the bullshit and I can’t say that I blame her.
Ok so let’s unpack things a bit here:
The party we were going to had a vulgar title of the Glitoris Party – some kind of sexy, fetish dance party with a LGBT twist – right up Jessica’s alley.
She didn’t know anything of it, I found it as something I thought she would enjoy.
The party was being held at Barbarella, my fave dance place in Austin – my friend Matt and I would come here every Sunday night when I’m in town for their awesome 80s night – We brought Claude here one Sunday that happened to be his birthday and had one of the best times ever. Some of my fave memories of Matt are here, I hadn’t seen Matt since last year and almost as if he saw us, while we were in line I get a text asking where I am. I tell him we are in line at Barbarella and to get his ass down here and he tells me that he’s already inside – perfect. Except my phone died liked 30 secs later.
Matt’s a bit of a hustler and when I plugged my phone in when I got home their were several messages from him, claiming himself as such as how we didn’t have to stand in line and he could get us right in etc.
That would have come in handy for several reasons but I will get to that in just one sec –
First things first – Another reason that Jessica was looking so forward to going to the party (and certainly a motivator for me as well) is that for laughs one thing we enjoy doing is playing super slut dress up with her – She’s such a mild, meekish girl that the irony is fun, daring and we get alot of laughs from it and its also totally hot. We had just purchased the sluttiest thing we could find in the store for this very party while doubled over with laughter when we bought it. This outfit was pretty ridiculous and I wasn’t sure that their was any reality to her actually wearing it.
I gave her several outs but she insisted so that meant going back to the car so she could change clothes.
While she’s changing into this getup in the backseat, the most unlikeliest of creepers appeared: Sure she was getting the occasional odd look from passersby that was wondering what she was up to, but those of course like most creepers were gross old dudes or fratty douchebags.
However this young, attractive, girl walks up to the car, starts talking to me through the windshield, then opens the passenger door and gets in the freaking car, maintaining some bullshit conversation that was clearly an excuse to get a better look at Jess in the backseat! – Don’t most Penthouse letters begin like this?
Finally I guess the girl lost her nerve and got out of the car and left – weird. It kinda shook me up and when Jess got out of the car as Slut Woman – I was actually nervous as shit about the expected attention. Normally I love it and don’t know why I turned into such a pussy –
We still had to cross under I35 with her in this getup and let me tell you that was only the beginning of the attention this was causing.
Horns honking like it was a symphony and people making zero attempt to hide their shock or approval – this was also all happening right in front of the Police Station – I started to worry if we were breaking the law, I’m telling you I turned into the biggest fag – I wasn’t even wearing the outfit and I was terrified!
Jess was loving every second of it bless her and with every whistle her smile got wider.
When we get to Barbarella, theirs a line 30 people deep – Is their a line to everything in this town?
This is when Matt’s help would have came in handy, but as I mentioned above, my phone died.
While we are waiting in line Jess, just standing there without saying a word is causing a scene – woman are shouting their approval, men are declaring their lust, their a whole gaggle of people walking back and forth trying to appear that they are not doing this simply to stare at her.
Ok, she looks good and this shit is skimpy but this is ridiculous – that’s when I look down and see why –
Jess has zero girl training so it doesn’t come natural for her to wear things below her hips, in fact she raises them high like an old man would and I look down and see that you can see her entire ass – I started dying laughing but also wondered had we taken this too far.
That answer came almost instantly as this hopelessly sloshed Rastafarian dude was perusing the crowd saw Jess and made a beeline for her –
As if I wasn’t even standing there he puts his arm around her and tried to lead her away, she looks at me with a look of terror – so I pick her up literally off the ground and move her behind me but this dude won’t let go of her arm so I ended up having to smack this dude in the mouth till he let go.
This was no longer hot nor funny – this was now stressful and unnecessary and also 1am –
We agreed that after all this we should go inside at least so we finally get in and I realize that they moved Barbarella next door as this was not the same bar it had been – This place was so unbelievably packed that it made dancing impossible and a fire hazard nightmare. The attention continued even from the gays – she was a hit and I wanted her to enjoy it –
Photos –
Roy Turner
Chona Kasinger
Jessica Lehrman
