Normally you have to read this stuff 6 months behind schedule because I’m so busy/lazy and after the hurricane that is SXSW it normally takes about six months to get me to talk about it again. This time I wanted to go ahead and get it over with and get closure on it. I’ve only been back for less than 48 hrs as I write this and I can honestly say that this was the biggest year yet. In this case big, doesn’t necessarily mean good and in alot of way it means bad. Bigger acts mean bigger headaches and sorry for the negativity but that’s what it felt like for me this year, one big headache. We did see some great acts, our own showcases went well etc – but their was such a disparaging weirdness this year combined with some baffling dysfunction of our own that made me so glad when it ended and we made it home in one piece (barely).
Day 1 – Mar 9th
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that we were going too early. 4-5 days alone is always too much but 8? And this was Jessica’s first year. We were asking for trouble. Leaving in the morning after not getting much sleep I pulled over half way through the trip to let her take over and drive. What took place 45 mins later was NOT her fault, but I have to tease her because whatever the Midas Touch is, she seemingly has the opposite of because things tend to go awry without explanation when it comes to her.
I am awakened by her panic as for no explainable reason, the car is losing all electrical power while we are going 70mph on the freeway. Still dazed from the dream state and now awaking to a nightmare I screamed for her to pull over. We switched places while keeping the car running. As soon as I hit the gas I realized the depth of our troubles as the car was not leaving second gear and all the gauges were going crazy. Instantaneously I discovered we were in Georgetown only about 20 mins outside Austin – that was the good news:
When I pulled into a convenient store and asked the clerk if he know of a mechanic in town, he took to polling the customers: By the third inquiry an older but youthful gentlemen we’ll call Joe, said that he did and while giving directions, it occurred to him that it would just be easier for us to follow him. Moved by this generosity, the clerk decided to return said generosity and not to charge him for the beer he was about to purchase. Freaking awesome and only in Texas.
We follow Joe and a mile or so and he was right, we would never have found it without following him. However, the place, we will call Bruce’s, was closed all weekend.
Joe told us he was afraid that would be the case with this place and any other in town, but offered directions to another nearby. We didn’t make it 100 yards before the car said goodnight – we were stuck/fucked.
Joe made a series of helpful suggestions and was the most kind and sincere person I can recall meeting in recent memory and seemed regretful when he left that he couldn’t do more for us bless him, only to return with a fistful of cash a few mins later. I did my best to refuse this overwhelming and amazing gesture but he insisted that I take $50 – Can you believe that? $50 from a total stranger – Freaking awesome and only in Texas.
It was Sat night and Joe was buying a beer and a lottery ticket – he was attractive for an older man and dressed stylish. He made it clear when I refused the money that “he didn’t need it” and seemed to enjoy helping us greatly. My guess was that Joe was probably a widower or just bored – regardless he was a godsend and we won’t soon forget how much he helped us.
Enter the next stage of random/weirdness/dysfunction:
Our only real option was to call the lady that we were staying with, Cecilia, who lives in North Austin only 15 mins from here to see if she could come pick us up.
To unpack things a bit, Jess nor I both had ever met this person: To be clear, my business trip accommodations are not my girlfriend’s responsibilities as well as I’m simply too old to be sleeping on anyone’s couch. However we were having difficulties securing a place (another sign of the festival’s exponential growth) and Jess was eager to make an ample contribution to her first visit to SXSW.
So she reached out to a friend, Tammy, who recommended Cecilia – a Peruvian women in her 50s that had met my only requirements that we have our own room, a bed and a key to come and go as we please. Though under the guise of in the name of “friendship” and solidarity, she was still asking for a “donation” but we will get to that in a second.
While Jess is calling Cecilia, I’m taking Joe’s advice and calling the police and telling them the situation and that I will back for the car on Monday. In no time flat, Cecilia arrives to our rescue – she is sweet, charming and energetic and we are grateful as she whisks us to the house and eager to know all about us.
She is enthusiastically talking a mile a minute as she gives us the tour and shows us to our room – The house looks like a Peruvian women in her mid 50s lives here – It’s clean, but old, cluttered but not unmanageable, and their is an intense stench of marijuana smoke hanging in the air in every room.
Though she is never once rude or unkind to me, the message is clear that boys are gross and women are superior and I’m only to use the bathroom out in the garage and not soil the ladies restroom with my maleness.
I was getting a sense that besides the money, her motivation for letting us stay could have been that she wanted to fuck my girlfriend, especially when she eagerly offered to help Jess when she was changing into her stockings and garters for the party tonight. In Cecilia’s defense, Jess has zero girl training and needed all the help she could getting them on, but as much as I adore Jess, she often aligns herself with people that though share her passion for causes that she’s interested in: LGBT equality, activism for the poor, etc – They often take advantage of her good nature.
It would be difficult to over-exaggerate the weirdness that soon followed: For one, Cecelia was bouncing around and talking like a teenager about SXSW – and not in that “I know I’m old but look how down I can be” way, but genuinely immature. I don’t knock older people and encourage them to stay youthful and having fun really doesn’t have to end – but she was babbling and stoned out of her mind about parties, bands and the people she knew etc.
Next, the story about when we were leaving to go downtown kept changing: I made it clear that it was business and important and the only reason we came so early, and now Dependant on her we were at the mercy of her fluctuating lucidity.
Now getting us downtown was NOT her responsibility obviously, but when she said she would get us down there I trusted and believed her, I had to, I had no choice. But she kept giving us the run-around sometimes incoherently so and I could hear her in the other room on the phone trading status with a friend that made it clear that this 55 year old Peruvian woman (who was also unemployed as well) who was acting like a teenager, had been up the entire previous evening doing drugs.
The fatigue was kicking in on her and so now she couldn’t take us downtown – I pleaded with her and even made a cash offer but to no avail, we were stuck/fucked once again.
She made an effort to call people to take us, but I soon learned it was all a work. Since she had picked us up and I was dependent on her taking me back to my car in Georgetown on Mon, I double downed on my cash offer, but that was still futile. Then she comes rushing into our room with a eureka-like cadence and shouts “I know!, put an add on Craigslist!!” – I stammered to response that this woman not only was wanted us to take a ride from complete strangers but also invite them to her home to pick us up.
I went outside to smoke and to clear my head of the day’s events when she called me telling me that she had found us a ride – ok holy shit.
I soon learned how – she had called her friend Ernesto to come get us, and obviously I was going to compensate him for his time and gas, but unbeknown to me, the work was that she had promised him the sum that I was offering her TOTAL for all of the rides she had/will give us. Ernesto, (who was also unemployed) was all too happy to take $50 for a $5.00 ride downtown – That $50 bill that Joe had given me, was now his. Motherfucker we had been worked and we still had to get home somehow.
Suicide Girls Interactive Party – Hotel Vegas – 1500 E 6th St
Ok so the thing that were trying to get to so bad, and the only reason we came on Sat instead of Tues what was promised to be this super awesome Suicide Girls (hence Jess’s stocking and garters getup) – If you don’t know what Suicide Girls is Google it (but not while at work) and you can thank me later.
I had business here, my girl was looking super fine and after all we had been through today, we were finally here, only to discover that this was not only the lamest party we went to, the entire time we were in Austin this year, but perhaps one of the lamest ever.
The party started at 7pm (it was now 9pm) and there was nothing happening. It seemed like a pre-amble, not like a post-we-missed-it vibe, but it never got off the ground. The invitation made it sound like this was going to be the greatest thing ever: Free memberships to the site, free booze, model hopeful auditions, insanity galore.
Instead it was outside in 45 degree weather, their were no free memberships left, the auditions were over, no nothing really, and they were charing $4 for cans of Tecate’.
Now, I’m not some spoiled brat that wants everything for free etc but their were no business here for me.
There were a few hotties however:
We checked out the local vintage clothing from American Icon that had a pop-up store here, but after an hour of overall dissapointment we left for Viceland –
ViceLand w/ Andrew W.K. – 401 E Cesar Chavez
Though Jessica was wearing stiletto boots, we decided to walk the 10 blocks or so over to the Convention Center where right across the street is where Vice had their annual party set up. Thankfully their wasn’t much of a line and we were able to get in pretty quickly. I loved the excitement on Jess’s face as I realized that she has never been to anything like this before. This is not only her first year at SXSW but her first time being at any branded event period.
There was lots to look at and enjoy as well – Though it was there to promote the next Tom Cruise movie Oblivion, their was an impressive display of space aesthetics and in the courtyard out front they had an actual helicopter from the movie –
You can always tell if the place has free drinks because the bar will always be mobbed – I got us a couple of drinks from some really hot bartenders and we went outside to patronize the first of many of Austin’s food trucks, as we turned to see Andrew W.K. giving an interview to Vice for an upcoming webisode.
While we were eating we were subjected to what appeared to be an opening act DJ that seemed to be playing just one band, and I that one band sounded like a chaotic, ambient death march – just torturous.
Finally Andrew W.K took stage and after all we had been through today, we needed to get a party going. I don’t know a single song of his, but I’m a fan of his positive attitude and ambition and live he’s always so fun. This time he didn’t have the full band, it was just him, a keyboard, a pre-recorded tape and the occasional awful backup vocal by a friend of his.
It was good enough to give us the release that we needed and actually started to smile for the first time since the car broke down (thank you Andrew).
That was almost short-lived as Jess had her phone in one of her boots and as she was jumping around it must have fallen out. We didn’t even know that her phone was missing until two Asian gay dudes were holding it and got her attention and asked if it was hers. They could have kept it and we would have never been the wiser until it was too late. I thanked them so profusely that I made them uncomfortable and told Jessica that if she loses her phone on this trip that she didn’t have a ride back home ? – Freaking awesome and only in Texas.
After it was over, though we had been temporarily distracted, we still had the nasty little problem of getting back to North Austin somehow and as if right on cue when we walked outside it started to rain. Not a light passing drizzle, but it was freaking pouring.
I despise cabs and avoid them at all costs and in this case it probably would have been around $75 one way – The pedicab situation in Austin has grown into its own cartoonish culture we noticed right away and I will tackle that one later in this coverage.
Their is another mode of transportation in Austin that I had forgot about called Cars 2 Go – It’s a unique little convenience that I’ve yet to experience where basically their are electric run little matchbox cars all over town you can rent simply by swiping your credit card on the dash.
Unfortunately l couldn’t figure it out and it was pouring raining and Jess was begging me to take refuge in the IHOP down the street.
When we walked in it looked like we had just stepped out of the shower, but they seated us right away thankfully.
We ignored our little problem over pancakes for an hour until it was time to face the music and here is where things are about to get really bizarre.
Even if she had rested/sobered up the weather was still going to prevent Cecilia or anyone else from picking us up – before we left Cecilia had mentioned something to us about a friend of hers that we should stay with that is close to downtown that we initially took as she was trying to dump us off on someone else out of fear of not receiving her “donation” because of the car situation.
Now at IHOP we inquired further out of desperation and the instructions were as follows (I’m not kidding) –
Ok so let me get this straight….you want us to go to a stranger’s house on a street we can’t get to at 3am while its raining sheets and look for a key in a refrigerator and make ourselves at home…and not worry about getting shot, arrested or both?
Even crazier is that we fucking did it – what choice did we have at this point? – I hailed a cab in front of the Convention Center and $15 later we were in front of this house. The short walk though the gate and under the parkway was the equivalent of walking through a car wash. The gravity of taking advice from a stoned Peruvian woman at 3am that had led me here was not lost on me, especially when I discovered the refrigirator…..and no key.
Jess had reached her threshold and began to cry immediately and I wasn’t far behind – How had we sunk this low? I felt like I was losing my mind. What the fuck are we going to do now?
I get on the horn with Cecilia, I’m near hysterical now and convinced that this whole thing was something she had dreamed up and we were about to be shot by the tenants, arrested for trespassing or sleeping under this thing. Her advice of pounding on the window would have either made the previous mentioned fears come true or ultimately proved futile as it was raining so hard, I could have sliced the front door with a chainsaw and stuck my face through it and said “Heeeere’s Johnny” and they still wouldn’t have heard me because it was raining soooo loud.
I do have to hand it to Cecilia, she managed to wake the tenants by phone and after crossing the threshold of the reality that we were gonna fucking die out here, suddenly the door opens and this 40ish yoga instructor-type woman opens the door and though a bit grumpy (and righteously so) at first, she welcomes us and comforts us and walks us to a wing of the house and says pick any room you want, except the middle one – Why? Because Jess’s friend Tammy, the one that got us in this mess in the first place was sleeping in there and she was why there was no key in the fridge –
Aha! – I smelled a rat, but for now I was just so thankful to be inside and this place was like Shangra-La. We stripped our wet clothes off and climbed into this wonderful bed and I joked that I had been through so much trauma today that I couldn’t process that I was now in yet another stranger’s home. Freaking awesome and only in Texas.
Day 2 – Mar 10th
We awoke to a scene that even for me is difficult to describe the yoga-instructor woman that let us in the night before greeted us in the morning from the best sleep from the softest bed I’ve ever slept in to inform us that breakfast was ready. I used the bathroom before joining everyone in the large communal kitchen and while in there I see a notice above the toilet that said something like this:
Ok, I don’t have one negative thing to say about our hosts and it was the most genuine act of hospitality that I’ve ever encountered as well as the most thorough. However, I wouldn’t be telling the whole story if I didn’t mention the hippie-commune like atmosphere. In fact when I entered the kitchen the yoga-instructor lady when asking me what I would like to drink for breakfast she phrased it like: “Good morning, how would you like to receive and transient your dechlorinates this cycle” – or something along those lines. Again, I’m not making fun of anyone, she was undeniable sweet and we were very grateful, just a different way of being.
We discovered that a plate of fresh brisket tacos with eggs and salsa had been prepared for us as we took our seats in this huge luxury kitchen. We meet the patriarch, Dani, the yoga-instructor’s husband who is just about the nicest person ever and looked exactly like my cousin William.
Cecelia had already arrived to take us back and we learn that she does the occasional odd job around the compound for Dani.
We also learned that they do not take any money from the visitor’s they host during SXSW or at any other time, they just like to do it. Amazing and that brings me to my next point:
Jess’s so-called friend Tammy didn’t tell us about this paradise for two reasons:
1) She wanted to keep the space for herself, and thus had the key that kept us in the rain.
2) She was working us to stay with Cecelia so that Cecelia could have a payday – just like how Cecelia worked us to pay off Ernesto.
How the fuck did I get wrapped up in this?
We get back to Cecilia’s where I worked all day while Jess slept with the frequent interruption from Cecilia to inquire about any number of events if I could get her on the list for:
a) Like a teenager would
b) To remind me that I was in her debt
The plan for the night was that we would go downtown with Cecilia and when we were done with our biz, we would meet up with her at whatever party she was at and ride back with her.
It’s 5:30pm when she drops us off at Antone’s:
I had a meeting there with the National Geographic people about some upcoming endeavors and we would be returning there for the party tonight.
We were hungry so I decided to introduce Jess to one of my fave Austin hangs, the Jackalope.
I know it’s SXSW but as sign of the over-crowding to come, in what is normally an oasis for me, you couldn’t move (or hear) in this place.
No sooner do we sit and order before this gorgeous Marilyn Monroe type asks if her and her female friend could join us:
Jess tends to attract gay girls and this being Austin and Marylin’s friend was from Portland, my gaydar was telling me that they were more than friends, but the reason they wanted join us was because the location of our table was in direct view of the TV that was to be showing back-to-back episodes of Walking Dead in a few mins. They weren’t hitting on us, they were just simply too poor to pay for cable television.
Nice, good-looking girls however and it was actually fortunate for me because as much as I hate to be that guy on his phone in public, I had alot of work to do. On top of this Cecilia, though she had spent all day with us and had two car rides with us to ask for the money, cowardly feigns that she forgot and asks via text.
Jessica is incapable of handling any confrontation so it falls to me – So now I’m working two phones, trying to eat, and be gracious to our new friends while it’s face meltingly loud in here. I was about to lose it.
I take care of everything for the time being, and soon the television show starts, we pay and give Marilyn and & her friend full use of our table as we bid farewell (but not before she gives Jess her number).
IFC presents Marc Maron: A Q&A and peek into the new Marc Maron show – IFC House – 302 E 6th St.
We were swinging by here to check in and get acquainted as this is where one of our bands, Psychic Friend will be playing tomorrow – As well talk with some of the IFC people about some upcoming TrickyKid endeavors. I thought this would be a good time because I wanted to turn Jess on to Marc Maron. She had never heard of him and I knew he would be right up her ally.
A joke unto itself was that she was dressed for the Girl Talk party later tonight, so here we were at this corporate, adult affair and she’s wearing short-shorts & a half shirt. Maron did not seem to mind.
It’s only 830pm when we are seated but at that same time, Jess gets a text from Cecilia asking if we were ready to head home. Huh? I thought we were meeting at midnight etc..? Here we go again:
If you are unfamiliar Maron is a comedian and podcaster and was hosting a first look peek of his new IFC scripted comedy series titled Maron. Marc was put in the unlikely, yet somehow completely appropriate position of moderating his own panel discussion along with the show’s director Luke Matheny and Duncan Birmingham, who also serves as one of the series’ writer.
The evening with Maron was really fun and I knew that she would enjoy it, but given her state of dress it kinda prevented us from the inevitable meet & greet.
Finally its time to head back to the Antone’s –
Nat Geo Celebrates The ’80’s & Today @ Antone’s 9pm w/Girl Talk
Ok to know anything about me is to know how much I love the 1980’s – It was the decade I went from 5-15, so it belongs to me, it is my identity and I never tire of waxing nostaligic about every second of it. Earlier in the day we had even seen the Olivia Newton-John-ish 80s Flash Mob that Nat Geo had sent out to show how serious they were about their 80s.
Though, the Girl Talk crowd annoys the shit out of me, I somehow manage to still see at least one two of his shows during the year, and I never regret it. This time it being in such a small place was either gonna offer an intenese intimacy or it was going to make getting in even harder. I might have skipped it all together, but I’ve been talking with the Nat Geo people of late and again they were throwing the ultimate 80s party to launch their upcoming show about the greatest decade in history.
When we get there of course it’s a total shitshow outside and now the attire is totally ill-advised as its now fucking freezing outside. We did before we went in saw just how fucking serious they were by what was parked out front:
Holy shit! Holy shit! – I didn’t even need to go in now – Not only were we seeing Doc Brown’s DeLorean, the ‘A-Team’ van and ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ General Lee, but we were seeing that shit all at once – My 10 year old self was exploding.
Thankfully we ran into our friend Adrian, he’s an actor that played the main charachter on the show Entourage and he’s also in a band, the Honey Brothers with our friends Ari and Dan, so were let in on the sidedoor right as the party was starting.
Girl Talk spun his irresistible mish-mash of ’80-inspired mash-ups, digital samples and plunderphonics to a house full of amped-up dancers. This was one of the best and most inspired themed parties I’ve ever been to and it being 80’s themed was perfect for me. They had Miami Vice bathroom attendants & pay phone iPhone charge stations.
Jessica had never seen a Girl Talk show it so it was a good time. The sweat turned especailly cold when we stepped outside on our way to the next event.
Path 150 Party w/ Jane’s Addiction – The W Hotel – Downtown Austin, TX
Apparently its yet another social network, started up by Shawn Fanning along with Ashton Kutcher & a former disgruntled Facebook employee that is in the vein of Instagram. How it differs I’m not sure as I also don’t use Instagram.
We were pretty wiped from the Girl Talk show and there is no way this party was gonna top the 80s high we were on but we went anyway.
We are not there long before we see Ashton Kutcher and said former Facebook employee come out, talk a bit about Path before introducing Jane’s Addiction.
I’ve never counted myself among their fans but they still put on a fun show that is perfect for like a late night, sleazy vibe and in a small place like this it was perfect. Shows you what corpoprate whores they all are, I saw them four years ago here at SXSW playing a party for Playboy magazine at an abandoned K-Mart across the freeway. I wasn’t here for scruples however, I was just here to have fun and we did.
After the show we still had that little nagging problem of how the fuck are we gonna get back to North Austin? – On one hand feeling proud of a full day of good work and seeing some pretty special shit in small intimate venues, and on the other hand we were inappropriately dressed hithchikers. Scratch that, I guess if you wanted someone to pick you up, my girl was dressed just right.
Not long thankfully someone did – You know those signs at the airport that have a picutre of guys who look undesirable and it says “Please don’t accept rides from these guys” ?
And it’s to warn you that their are predatory types that are not licensed car services or taxis that circle the airport offering to provide transportation to make a few bucks. That was the case here: A harmless looking guy in his late 20s sees us (or sees her) asks if we need a ride – now normally of course I would have said no, but my girl was freezing and we were out of options. I took the chance and felt like I could protect her if something went wrong but still not my finest hour.
We jump in, and as we are lauding him with gratitude, he cuts us off immediately and gets right down to business: How much are we going to pay him?
Again we are not trying to get everything for free, but that was just the vibe this year – everyone had their hands in our pockets – We were seeing signs for parking that were like $30 & $40 – even the lady we were staying with was trying to shake us down at every turn.
They also tell you not to get into the car with these people because they are probably crazy, and you guessed it – This guys was nuts and kinda scary.
His name was Al, a North African, who in spite of the fact that he kinda scared the shit out of me, it didn’t’ shake my shrewd business acumen and I talked him down to $20. Thankfully we made it home in one piece – Not my proudest moment.
Day 3 – Mar 11th
Ok so if you thought that was weird, your not prepared for what’s coming today. Though Cecilia had promised to take me back to Georgetown this morning we awoke to her already gone. We probably shouldn’t have jumped the gun the way we did but with her erratic behavior and the stress of the car was even still gonna be there was weighing high. Thankfully she returned just before noon to take us back to Georgetown, but you will soon learn, like we did that every nice thing she did wasn’t without an agenda.
We get to Georgetown to discover that thankfully my car was still there and exactly as we had left it. I had called ahead to let the mechanic who’s shop was only a few hundred yards away to be expecting us. Jess and I pushed and pushed and again the generous nature of the people of Georgetown appeared once again by the kindness of a stranger who helped us push it the rest of the way as well as Bruce the mechanic taking it the final few yards into his shop.
Bruce said he would take a look at it but it was lunch time so we had an hour to kill before he would return. The three of us decided to get some lunch of our own at the only available place which was a Golden Chic down the road.
A disgusting low-rent knock-off of my beloved Chicken Express, I ordered three meals, to treat Cecilia for the ride. At $6 a meal x 3 I should have expected to pay $18 + tax right? First of all the woman behind the counter moaned audibly when she saw that I was using my credit card (meaning it would have been impossible to pull off the scam she had in mind) and actually canceled the transaction by telling me my card was declined to discourage me from using it.
If that wasn’t insane enough she tried to tell me this meal cost $36 !!!! – I said try again and she said “Oh, I mean $26” – I said TRY AGAIN until finally she charged the correct amount. Everyone has had their hands in our pockets on this trip so far and there was no let up in sight.
A perfect example of this was while Cecilia just saw us pushing my car and Jess and I were trying to coordinate a plan she interrupted by making two suggestions:
1) To take me to an ATM and give her all my available cash
2) That if the car couldn’t be fixed today to hitchhike back to Austin as she was going to be at a party and unavailable.
At that moment I seriously contemplated that if the car does get fixed today, to go get our stuff and go the fuck home and just call this a bust.
When I told her I wasn’t giving her a dime until I found out what was wrong with my car she dropped us off, unwilling to wait for the diagnosis and seemed to resent Jess for staying with me with these departing words:
I wanted to puke – We go inside and wait for Bruce’s diagnosis – All signs pointed to the alternator for which he confirmed as well as my darkest fear is when he rattled off that the total would be $450.00 – I really did almost puke that time.
I had no choice but to give him the green light – I made it clear that we had no ride back to Austin and that I had to have the car today and he agreed that it would be no problem.
We sat in the lobby of this shop for SIX long hours while Bruce would periodically come in, face a mask of dirt & oil and consult his computer. At one point I got curious from the baffling level of boredom and when I saw Bruce Google the words “Alternator Installation” I really did puke this time.
Where were we? – How did we get here? – I’ve never felt more lost.
By 7pm Bruce throws his hands up and admits defeat – He tells us that its not charging properly and that we should take it to the dealership.
It was running he said but suggested that we have it towed as we would be in the same situation as before. 7 hrs and close to $500 later and we were still in the same boat as before. I may puke forever.
Miraculously when I asked about the guarantee of the work Bruce performed, he declared that he wasn’t going to charge us – not one dime – I couldn’t believe it.
That whole day we saw people coming in and getting $50 oil changes – Do people in Georgetown just have no use for money?
We got the fuck out of there hoping just to make it back to Cecilia’s but lo and behold, we didn’t make it three exits before the same shit started – We were in a cyclical nightmare with no escape.
Like an angel watching over us the car conked out this time right in front of the dealership as I coasted it right in – once again avoiding a towing fee.
It was now 730pm at night and the rental car desk at the dealership was already closed. I looked up rental cars online and of course given the predatory nature of their business, they were gouging the business traveler as well as the festival attendee and were wanting $90 a day for a rental car.
We sat in the sales area, defeated, contemplating what to do – contemplating suicide.
When once again fortune smiled down upon us – Have you seen those Dos Equis commercials featuring “The Most Interesting Man in the World”?
Well we met him – His name is Rod Bailey and he sells cars in Georgetown, TX. What started out as casual conversation led to heated conspiracy theories of the JFK assassinations to discoveries that Mr. Bailey has done it all.
It was important to him that we not identify him as someone who needed to work here – rather Mr. Bailey was a workaholic with sadly a terminally ill wife at home and just needed something to do. He had been a successful business man, starting the chain of smoke shops called the Gas Pipe which are popular in Texas and a million other different ventures that our head’s were collectively spinning.
He was so kind to us and seemed to be genuinely convened for us – I excused myself to go to the bathroom, feeling a little better that Mr. Bailey would probably give us a ride home. When I returned to his desk he announces:
“Mr. Turner can I see your driver’s license please?” – Confused, I still complied trying to figure out the angle before eventually coming right out and asking.
With a wink and a nudge, he says: “Well I’ll need it if you wanna test drive this brand new car and keep it overnight until you find out the appraisal of your car” – while smiling from ear to ear.
I looked over at Jess as if to say “I thought you might charm him for a ride not a FREAKING CAR!!” – But I kept my cool as to not make anyone aware of Mr. Bailey’s generosity or to make him regret his gesture.
He takes us outside, gets us in the car, spends another 30 mins sitting in the car talking with us where we had the chance to thank him proper.
We couldn’t believe our good fortune today in spite of everything – We avoided TWO towing fees, still not sure if Bruce gave us a damn alternator for free and now a free rental car for the night, not to mention a great new friend in Mr. Bailey.
I was scheduled to DJ the Badgeville party in two hours after we drove off that lot but I called & canceled, After all we had been through, I didn’t feel like it, we hadn’t eaten since the Golden Chic fiasco, and I didn’t want to risk taking the car downtown. We decided instead to go have the meal of our lives.
Unfortunately the only thing that was open was a freaking Chili’s haha – but we made the best of it, ordered half the menu and got back to Cecilia’s shaking our heads from the day’s events.
Photos –
Roy Turner
Jessica Pardee
