Wrestlemania 30 Week Part 1: Drew Brees Charity Event + Jim Ross & Jake Roberts & more (2014)

Ok this will be a massive (but fun) undertaking to deliver this story in its entirety in order to tell you the complete story to satisfy you, myself and with respect to the events & people that we met/saw along the way this week.
It all started more than a year ago when my girlfriend Jess wanted to visit her bff Megan, who was soon to have her first child. I had never met Megan & her husband and was happy to do so, however they live in New Orleans – a city that has represented nothing but bad luck for me for over 10 years.

The Curse of New Orleans – 

I don’t believe in such superstitions though many natives of NOLA would disagree with you & have their own unique brand of superstitions. I’ve been here on tour several times thoughout the years and each time was more miserable than the time before it.  Two days before we are set to leave I suffer the worst case of food poisoning in medical history – It was starting before we even got there.
Ironic however is that I WANT to love this city and if you know me, than you know that music, crawfish & culture are my passions so this should be MY city.
But historically it hasn’t been – not in the least.

I am pleased to announce that we survived the city and a week of total fun & insanity – However I am deeply saddened to also report that not all of us made it.
Since your reading this you probably have at least a cursory interest in Professional Wrestling and already know that the Ultimate Warrior who was inducted into the Hall of Fame in the coming days after 18 years of being in exile & after finally receiving redemption died literally the next day.

I will go over all of that as this series unfolds – but for now – we had to get our asses to the Big Easy.

We made it to (not quite) NOLA to the quaint little town of Picayune, MS – just across the border on the other side of Lake Pontchartrain.
Took us over 11 hours by car and now we were staying 50 miles from NOLA that would be at least an additional 100 miles a day commute.

From the outside the motel we were staying at was a frightening sight (especially at night) and where I would normally have just drove past.
However the contrast to the inside was pleasantly surprising –

There were quite a few things wrong with this place, normally that wouldn’t matter but we were gonna be here for six nights and seven days.
However the lady that runs the place was very friendly and it forced us to go into town to buy things to make the place and little more livable.
In the process we kinda fell in love with this little coastal town. By the end of the week the guy at the gas station knew us by name (because I was having to fill up every other day) & made multiple trips to the post office, the grocery store, bank & a few other stops along the way.
We had become townies – We are not of the church going persuasion but we actually thought of attending service on Sunday & eat at local post-church staple
Fatty’s Seafood – but timing & weather had other plans for us.
After making our shithole by the freeway livable we crashed – We had a looooong week ahead.

Day 1 – April 3rd 

So technically this was day 2 but the first of the wrestling events we had planned to attend as well as our first day of being in NOLA proper.
Supposed to be a vacation but I don’t do well with relaxing so I had some business in town and then we made it over to Megan’s house to met her infant daughter.
I didn’t stay long as I wanted to give her & Jess some time to themselves as her husband Zeke was also not home yet.
Jess is a good sport and likes the wrestling that I show her – has really become interested in the anthropological viewpoints that I share but what I had planned for the rest of the evening would be indulgent for most fans so instead of listening to an old timer tell stories all night, logically we had planned for me to fly solo while she spent the evening catching up with Megan.

Ringside: An Evening with Jim Ross – House of Blues – New Orleans (Early Show)

My luck was already changing as I knew that parking in the French Quarter to get to the House of Blues was gonna be a nightmare & unbelievably I parked directly in front of the club. Grabbed my ticket and headed inside just as the show was about to begin. A spoken word/one man show if you will with legendary wrestling announcer Jim Ross.
Ross has been touring the show for the past year which is his personal reflections of a life spent in the wrestling business.

After promising the crowd that he would not censor himself, either in terms of language or in the tales he would tell that night, Ross started off describing how he first got interested in wrestling, thanks to watching a match between the Assassins and the Kentuckians.
From there, he regaled the crowd with stories of working for “Cowboy” Bill Watts. Working for Watts changed his life, he said, and included some very funny stories about his time during wrestling’s territorial days. For an old Mid-South Wrestling guy like me – it was perfect.
True to his word, he didn’t filter his comments or stories, and fans howled listening him tell wild tales about subjects such as: washing down two fat naked guys; being offered $100 to take a nude picture of Andre the Giant; and one of his favorites, Dick Murdoch.
As naive as it sounds, it was odd to hear him curse & any hecklers or outbursts were stifled immediately –
At the very beginning a couple of guys in the front row were yelling the whole time & JR walked to edge of the stage told them that he didn’t need any help and with all due respect to “shut the fuck up” –
The place exploded – I was happy as well as it was smooth sailing from there on out and a sign of good things to come from an otherwise polite crowd that was part an parcel a total contrast to what I dealt with last year.

He candidly spoke about a lot of matters, including providing his thoughts on recent WWE booking decisions & let a lot of his personality shine through during the show, taking fans through a hysterical story about stopping promoter Leroy McGuirk from murdering Ted DiBiase for dating his daughter (and for those who might not know, ended up marrying Brian Blair and serving as a WWF ring announcer).
J.R. didn’t focus a ton on his time in the WWF, but I suspect that was because he wanted to save some stories for his eventual autobiography and his Ross Report podcast.
His time in WCW was quickly recapped, as was his 20+ year stint in WWE. For those, he kept his stories to a minimum during his prepared comments, and rather touched on most of those times during the last 90 minutes, which was an open Q&A session.

This portion of the evening saw the night’s emcee, Live Audio Wrestling producer John Pollock, go into the crowd to take the fans’ questions for Ross.
Literally everyone there was from the U.K or other parts or Europe. It’s unbelievable the impact its had over there and that impact will be felt on Monday (stay tuned).

Speaking of Mid-South Wrestling,  with about 20 minutes left in the show, as a surprise for the audience he was joined by legendary manager Jim Cornette.

I was thinking “Man, if I stop this guy he’s gonna get mobbed” and I’m not really a picture/autograph guy but he played such a huge role in my memories as a kid I couldn’t resist and he was happy for the attention and eager to talk. Good because I was eager to listen. Good times.

An evening with Jake Roberts – Jackson Brewery Bistro Bar – New Orleans

The next portion of my evening came and went pretty fast and devolved into something else entirely than what was earlier advertised.
I had planned to attend JR’s early show so I could make this show and then the charity even later tonight and Jax’s Bistro was literally four blocks up Decatur St. from the House of Blues.
However this was originally a ticketed event & one-man show that mirrored JR’s, but since Jake “The Snake” Roberts didn’t want to have to compete with him and already had a similar event booked at HOB for the following night, Jake did an admirable thing by refunding anyone that bought at ticket and recomended them going to JR’s show and then just swinging by at their leisure at his event where he would be just hanging out.

As you can see the perpetually dysfucntional Jake Roberts & his “event” was as loosely held together as the posters and t-shirt that are barely sticking to the wall.
This was a pretty sad sight as it was just a small bar, upstairs from a high-end restaruant with Jake Roberts posing for pics (for $20 a pop…with YOUR camera no less) and selling merch only. The small crowd, again exclusively British, many who like me just came from JR’s show, with their expendaable income , forked over the cash for an Iphone selfie. No thanks –

Drew Brees Stars 4 Kids Kaboom/Charitybuzz Event – New Orleans Museum of Art – New Orleans

It was actually at this time as I was returning to my car from Jake Roberts’ thing that I ran into Jim Cornette – and after obsessively checking every lock on my car somehow I returned to it to discover that I left my driver’s side door unlocked!
Again I’m still traumatized from all the bad luck I’ve had in this city so it was unthinkable that I would do this and a sign that my luck was truly changing, the car was the same as it was as I had left it. Thank goodness.
After talking with Cornette I quickly changed into my suit and headed over to the New Orleans Museum of Art. WWE’s finest were teaming up with New Orleans Saints‘ quarterback Drew Brees and comedic actor Marlon Wayans for Superstar for Kids. The charity event to benefit the Brees Dream Foundation and Boys & Girls Clubs.

Whoever thinks that long-time announcer Lillian Garcia isn’t totally hot is a fool. By comparison to the jaw-dropping twenty-somethings running around the ring she might be easier to overlook but if you were face to face with her you would be a believer. I also have nothing original to add and can only echo the same tired sentiment regarding Maryse’s marriage to the Miz – “How did THAT dude land such perfection?” – Good job sir.

Stay tuned for Part II – The first ever Mid-South Fan Fest and the indescribeable Kaiju Big Battel!

Photos – 

Roy Turner
Josh Brasted