#2010

Rocklahoma 2010

Well it was THAT time again, as my buddies in Red Leather and I has such an amazing time last year that we talked about it in the year since and despite the severely lacking desirable lineup this year, we realized that we were going more for us and the time that we would share that no band come close to competing with. As much as we had last year, financially, this festival took a hit, so to try to remedy that, they laid off the steady diet of Hair Bands and tried to even things out. I for one much prefer the 80s excess, but the people that care about that stuff for the most part are white trash, that don’t have the money to support something like this.
What started out as a joke we suspected we had taken too far last year just by simply going became a much anticipated adventure that again was not the destination of seeing any bands rather than the bands would be a mere backdrop to our comedy act regardless of who was playing. Literally for a year when I would see these guys we would reference some inside joke that shaped last year’s laugh-a-thon and looked forward to what this year would bring.

May 28th 2010 – Day 1

So this much anticipated day had finally arrived and I made it to Dallas where drummer Paul picked me up and his authentic, spastic, energy already set the tone before we even met up with the other guys. Paul is one of those guys that you can’t help but like, he will exhaust you with his lust for life and have you pissing your pants with his spot on impressions (this year’s obsession was his uncanny ability to perform any of Jack Black‘s dialog from Nacho LIbre on command).
We meet up with ringleader Chaz and Mr. Johnny on the Spot himself, our unofficial Tour Manager Steve, who had secured a totally righteous RV for us in addition to the van we rode in last year. If you have read the entry from last year you know that much to my surprise and benefit that this guy has his shit together like no other and last year  made us the envy of every camper there by providing us with every convenience you could want in those conditions. He was out to step his game up this year and boy did her ever. It wasn’t enough that we had (shared) beds and air conditioning last year, this year my man got us a fucking apartment on wheels. Our own bathroom with shower and sink, our own bunks and fully functional kitchen and dining area. Our shit was stacked.
My face was already sore from laughing so hard for the entire 5 hour ride from Dallas to Tulsa, when we pulled into the campgrounds around 6pm. We all got to work immediately in our roles. Steve and Chaz do camp setup while Paul plays DJ and get high, and I as the Producer by getting us checked in, securing our laminates and taking care of all the business needs that ensure that we are taken care of all weekend.
We could hear Buckcherry doing their stripper anthem Crazy Bitch as we were  getting it together and we all smiled at each other with a knowing look of the significance that this song takes on in this environment.  I came back from production with our laminates as they were finished with setup and now we were ready for some free booze and to hear some music. We make our way to the backstage catering tent for the beer and proceed to mainstage. I’ll be honest, the band that was playing, Three Days Grace, I had never heard of, and then I heard their hit, that I’m sure I’ve heard at least once. To be honest with you, I could care less, as they didn’t interest me in the least but it didn’t stop us from still carrying on the laughter, and the excitement of just being there and being together was more than enough.

So after they finished, like last year we would spend the hour in between going to the Artist Catering Tent right of the stage to load up on more beer/food etc. I didn’t want to eat anything else because I was sure the next band was gonna make me barf. I’m not a snob (hello? look where I am at) but you know how some bands just irritate you to the point of exhaustion? , well I really hate the band Godsmack.
They are the perfect example of derivative and flaccid swill that is perfect for mass consumption, yet I’m still surprised at their level of popularity. Well I wasn’t here to complain so I stuck it out, but this band is just freaking painful.
After their set mercifully came to a close, so did the music for the first day of the festival. As typical that’s when the crazy fun on the campgrounds begins (or not haha). For all its emoting, Rocklahoma isn’t really all that big, and you will have no problem finding someone if you lose them. Their’s only two seated sections and one main aisle and less than 3k people any one given time. As we headed back to camp we ran into one half of our Bermuda Crew we met last year. Sadly, her other half (and mine) wasn’t able to attend this year. She joined us back to camp but not without bearing a gift that would soon become legend.
She presents us with this special bottle of Black Seal Rum only made in Bermuda, and the shit is not only expensive, but deadly. Like its almost 200 Proof!!
We thanked her for the gift and put it away for now, though it was a long day of driving, getting setup, then rawking, I still wanted to have a walk around the campsite to see what was going on and what mischief I could get into.
I found that Jagermeister was having a little late night thing in the vendors campgrounds so I checked that out solo for a bit, then headed back to camp Red Leather. When I returned the gang was wrapping up for the night so to propose a toast to our first night and making it there safely, we whipped out the Bermuda poison. Keep in mind it was wrapped in a way that we didn’t know yet its proof or its lethality.
I’m not a drinker at all so you can imagine my horror when I went we decided to shoot this stuff and I swear it was like I had swallowed gasoline. Chaz, that sneaky fucker, only held his to his mouth and was waiting to see what I would do and hadn’t drank his like I had.
Stop, drop, and roll.May 29th 2010 – Day 2
  So now today was gonna be our first day in the sun as we didn’t really get out there tilll dark last night. Their still really wasn’t any band that I gave a real shit about. I had always wanted to see ZZ Top so I was up for that, but it still wasn’t that important to me.
We get it going and really enjoying this tour bus accommodations. Having my own bed and us having our own bathroom freaking ruled.
After sleeping in, we finally make it to the catering tent for a late lunch, and I fell asleep after in the air conditioning.We had time to see walked around the grounds to see what else was going on. That’s something that we didn’t do last year, we usually were escorted via gold cart backstage and never left so I was determined to see this thing and get a feel of the people and take a few photos of the crowd this year. One of them decided to take a pic of us.:

I have no idea what we are looking at but since its a rock show I’ll just pretend its the line from Girls Girls Girls :“Hey Paul, check that out man!  Paul: – “Where Roy where?!” – “Right there!”

We finally decide we should try to see some bands as its after 6pm and we hadn’t done anything but sleep, eat and drink. We get over to the main stage to see this horrific thing called Saliva. I remembered them for their super annoying song about the click and the boom on the radio or something, but it was pathetic to see a band like this that never should have mattered trying to hold on. You could smell embarrassment on their faces from their phoned-in performance.
Thank gawd that was over quickly, it was so hot anyway that most anything would have been tough but they were unbearable.
Next up was Cinderella, a band that holds a special place for me as my first concert when I was 12 was seeing them open for the mighty David Lee Roth and I can’t recall, but I don’t think I’ve seen them since then.
I know they have had their problems over the years. I didn’t even recognize bassist Eric Brittingham as he looked more like Green Day than the dude on the poster from my childhood bedroom.

. Cinderella was always one of the better glam/rock bands of its era, mixing a touch of Stones-like rock and blues into its riff-driven hard rock sound. Guitarist Jeff Labar still looks like he hasn’t slept since the show I saw as a kid. The only noticeable thing that was off was during the song Push, Push was that the backup vocals were louder than Keifer’s lead but I’m sure it was just an oversight from the soundboard.
We had a quite a bit of time to kill before ZZ Top so we did the usual of going to the catering tent, where we met back up with our Bermudian friend. Now, she is a gracious, lovely girl, but like last year, she had decided to fixate on a member of our crew in a bizarre and unhealthy way. I say this because it was disturbing to see an older woman, literally cry in public over a complete stranger, half her age. I wanted to comfort her, but the only conclusion I could come up with, is that she is having a hard time aging and securing the affection of a much younger man, in her mind, had become her self-worth. So when the affection was not returned, she just had a freaking meltdown. Totally weird.
So up next was ZZ Top, a band that I’ve always wanted to see, but also one of those bands that for whatever reason you just don’t prioritize. So I was happy that they were here because otherwise, I probably would never make the effort to see them solo.
But not anymore, as now after seeing them I will do my best to do so again, because they were really awesome and fun.

Steve and I were debating if during a few songs if Billy Gibbons was using a tracked vocal. Can’t say for sure but I the show sounded album perfect at times, but others it was clear that real singing was going on. Whatever the case, Legs, and Sharp Dressed Man got the crowd going after extended blues interludes had slowed things down. They ended with an odd choice of a Viva Las Vegas/La Grange medley.
So that concluded the music for Day 2,
After talking with them for a bit and laughing alot we decided to head back to camp, and at this point I was really starting to feel the effects of the punch.
We make it back and we are not there 10 mins before Tina is calling me (I gave her my card about some upcoming business in town)
saying that the party had got broken up, so I invited them over to our campsite and the funniest thing was that we were on the far opposite side, and at point I had to use the stripper pole as a reference point when giving directions. Now where else would that happen?
They arrive: Stephanie is very butch and loud, but funny, Tina was the cheerleader in school that you never hooked up with, and Mary was just a freak of nature and the one I spoke with the most once they got there.
Chaz is loading everyone up on the punch and its not long before our site is the place to be so we attracted a few stragglers along the way. Mary was cracking me up as she was so over the top with her jokes that I mention it because she had some lines that were repeated for the rest of the weekend.May 30th 2010 – Day 3

  So we wake up the next day and I don’t normally drink alot and I still didn’t but that Black Seal was like Black Death. We all had our determinations of the day: Paul has been talking about seeing Sevendust since we left Dallas, as its apparently his favorite band. Now, nothing against those guys, but the last I knew of them was I got to be real friendly with their singer Lajon and guitarist John like a thousand years ago while working a record label, but I certainly didn’t know they had the ability to obtain fve band status of anyone.

Sevendust didn’t really fit to be honest, and were way too heavy and got a really bad time slot. If they had played one of the smaller stages later tonight it would have been a blowout, but to ask people to listen to music that heavy, that early, when it was that hot, is asking alot. Didn’t stop Paul though, in fact he was so vocal of his adoration that band members heard him from the stage and he was making them smile and laugh in acknowledgment.

TWEETS

 “Tesla is from the meth capital of the world. It only shows a little.”

“a night of unspeakable debauchery. When giving directions to my campsite i had 2 tell 3 girls to take a left at the wet-tshirt contest.”

“1st band I ever saw was Cinderella when I was 12. Last night I saw them 4 the 1st time since. ALOT has changed.”

“Woke to the sound of busmates quoting Nacho Libre and girls in booty shorts playing Frisbee outside my window.

“meth must be a hell of a drug. Meet me by the port-a-shitter.”

“just landed in Tulsa, OK here comes 4 days of hillbilly foolishness freaking 80s style.”

  Now we had eaten and got full of weak beer again and had a slight interest in seeing Lacuna Coil. I knew nothing of them other than my friend Ryan crushes on their female singer all the time and I also wanted to see something at one of the other stages.
Alot of people were there to see them and they came out guns-a-blazing, Christina Scabbia looked great, sounded great, the whole bit. But here was something that I didn’t know, was that they have a male co-vocalist, that is completely unnecessary and only serves to take away from what she is laying down. It makes no sense, as usual the singer is the focus, and when your singer looks like that, what’s the problem? why share that with someone, who can’t sing at all and when he does his thing it just shits all over what she’s doing. It made me feel like this guy is in the band because they don’t have the heart to tell him he sucks. Completely made no sense to me.
Right before they started we ran into the Oklahoma Trio again from the night before and Mary and I picked up right where we left off with the jokes, she was now sober, and still really fun and funny. We weren’t gonna stay for the whole set as we were gonna go see the last band of the weekend, Tesla. A band that I wouldn’t mind seeing but again never have, and wouldn’t make any grand effort to do so.
Barely had taken advantage of our credentials, we decided to do it right and all of us went to the very front. Like if we had been any closer, we would have been Tesla.

They came out like this was just the Tulsa stop on their current tour and didn’t really play up the whole festival atmosphere. But I can’t fuck with them as they sounded really good, and for the singer’s complete and utter lack of self-awareness, he was hitting all the notes.
Maybe not since the diabolical Ron Keel of last year have I seen someone so embarrassing in their emoting. This guy was so high on meth/cocaine or whatever that he had that constant twitch and we were so close we could see him grinding his teeth. Their were alot of technical shit that was falling apart that I’m not sure that the fans caught if you weren’t so close, but again they still kicked ass and I probably enjoyed their set the most. We were so dehydrated and exhausted by this time that though I tried to sing outloud, nothing would barely come out haha. It was a great way to end the music as we hung tight all weekend but almost never were all four of us in the same place so I’m glad that happened at the end.

The gang headed back to camp and I was in desperate need to hit the showers. When I returned to camp Steve was nowhere to be found (later to be discovered sleeping in the van) and Chaz and Paul were entertaining our next door neighbors from Kansas, who had been coming over to steal our beer all weekend. Feeling good from the shower, I decided we should go out with a blast. Chaz had been bugging me about hearing one of my mixtapes from my DJ gigs, so I put one on. Chaz plays bartender and suddenly theirs half naked fat chicks from Kansas dancing on our bus. Does the comedy ever stop? Until next year….

Photographers:

Roy Turner
Bill Narum
Mike Long

Wildflower Arts and Music Festival 2010

18th Annual Wildflower Arts and Music Festival – Richardson, TX – May 14th
   So some new friends and I decided to check out this festival. It’s one of those low-rent, city specific affairs that you see across America, that usually start with Taste of (insert name of suburb of major city here) that are usually very charming in their accessibility and dirt-mall like qualities. It’s like a mini Fair without the bullshit, and a mini music festival without the high cost and travel. What also usually rounds out these things is the lineup is almost always a hodgepodge of washed up, yet universally liked acts, even by the darkest skeptic. That one band that you feel you need to see but would never make any real effort to do so, will be there and they often prove irresistible. I finally saw The Go-Go’s , The Black Crowes, and Cheap Trick and many others at things like this over the years.
We got there late the first night, just in time to see, speaking of universally liked, the B-52’s, (cause if you don’t like them, than your just being a dickhead.)
Before we could see them however, their was a last minute addition, as one of the finalist for this year’s American Idol, was a local dude named Casey James (who ironically had played my sister’s birthday party the year prior) and apparently its custom on the show that the third to the last week is Homecoming Week for the final three and this was that week. So this dude was everywhere, making like five stops to do a few songs in some key places all over Dallas/Ft. Worth. This being the biggest gathering of people tonight, it only made sense to squeeze him in to do a few songs.
To those people that don’t care, its hard to imagine or take the show’s influence seriously, as like it doesn’t have any influence, (or better yet shouldn’t) so how would this minor/local pseudo-celebrity-at-best- affect this modest festival as far as attendance goes? How many people would even go out to Richardson to hear this dude play what was advertised as one song? Answer = A bunch :

   So that was pretty annoying when we got there and had to deal with that shit, but at the same time, my mom/sisters love that shit and I know that they were rooting for him, so like the good son that I am, I made sure to see it and take a few pics for them.

I know its cynical, but if you look at it objectively, its just so strange, why were these legends from Athens being pushed back so this painfully mediocre dude that can’t play and can barely sing, can get top billing and do a brief set of karaoke? When you manufacture something, it will dupe enmasse.
The cool thing was after he did his best Bryan Adams imitation, 75% of the crowd left so we walked to the front to see the B-52’s.
Now I had only seen the B-52’s once before in High School during their Love Shack heyday and I have no recollection of it, as it was the one and only time I’d ever taken Ecstasy, which ended up being anything but that, and historically one of the worst nights of my life.
Once the B52s came on stage everyone was in party mode.There is nothing complex in what the B52s do – its just fun, dance music. Even the songs which I didn’t know – which was most of them – were catchy enough to keep the crowd moving. How can you not love this band?

 One of the things I love about them is, just tell me what other band could Fred Schneider possibly be in? They finished the main set with Love Shack – and the girls can still hit those notes – which lit the place up. But for me the highlight was definitely their encore ending Rock Lobster. Fun night.

18th Annual Wildflower Arts and Music Festival (Day 2) – Richardson, TX – May 15th

   So we got an earlier start the second day, and it was the perfect weather for it, just an amazingly gorgeous day. Wanted to see what the festival was offering other than music as we got here at the end last night. I’ve been to this festival before and others like it many times and always enjoy it, no matter how embarrassing it might be haha.
After looking at arts and crafts and being asked to change my long distance carrier, it was time to grab a beer and see some music. I had always wanted to see the Sweet and they were up next.
Now again, I would never make any real effort to see this band especially in their current incarnation, but they totally kicked ass! and were perfect in their time slot of a late afternoon thing.
Now, not that anybody should really give a shit, but for clarity sakes, due to whatever bad business decisions this band has made over the years, it has allowed or produced two current versions of the Sweet. (it only really matters if you played on Desolation Boulevard).
Steve Priest’s American version and Andy Scott’s U.K. version. – Today was the American version.
As you can see Mr. Priest has packed on some pounds but singer Joe Retta was a dead ringer for Chris Cornell and looked and sounded great. Of course they ended with Ballroom Blitz, and yes it was totally worth it.
Up next was something I have great interest in, and couldn’t be more suited for a low-rent festival like this, but I couldn’t exaggerate just how horrible Vince Neil is live. I already knew this from seeing him a few times before and he’s so bad he has a reputation for being a turd live. It’s hard (for me) to not want to care because here is the voice of Motley Crue, the soundtrack to my youth, but he is so embarrassing its painful.
If you know anything about him, than I really have nothing to add here that you haven’t heard before. He looked bloated, and ridiculous with absolute zero self-awareness, and he “sang” about every third lyric, sometimes letting the crowd sing entire passages or skipping over them entirely.

  At least the songs choices started out cool, as he attempted to get on my good side with the early Crue stuff like Piece of Your Action  and Livewire. But things went from bad, to strange, to incomprehensible. He was only scheduled to do an hour, like I said was barely singing, and actually had to take a 15 minute break mid-show while his band just jammed without him on this extended Led Zeppelin instrumental medley. Freaking terrible.
Afterward, my buddy Gabe, one of the promoters invited us to the PM Nightlife Lounge beneath the Joule hotel. This shit was silly swank, and not my scene at all, but it was fun as an observer. I saw Vince Neil talking with that dude Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl (who is from Plano and was just arrested recently for marijuana possession) maybe they were trading lawyer tips?

Masters of Comedy w/Carol Burnett & Tim Conway + checking in w/ Sarah Silverman, Aqua Teen Hunger Force & more (April/2010)

Master of Comedy with a wide variety of comedians from the past, present & future.

Sarah Silverman – April 16th – The Coronet – Los Angeles, CA

I didn’t know exactly where the Coronet was, and didn’t know what time Sarah Silverman was going on. I had just learned about the show this morning. Apparently her and her friends do a monthly, intimate, really low-fi gig at this very small theater (holds about 60) what seemed like a live rehearsal, or just a place to try out new material. I got there after the show had already started and quietly made my way to my seat, and thankfully Sarah hadn’t gone on yet. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I knew that this wasn’t some full-blown performance and even when I saw her in NYC she only did just under an hour.
I saw a couple of comedians first, this one Jewish girl, I can’t remember her name was really funny and I would go see her again if I could remember her name. Then Sarah comes out, and seems really uncomfortable and uptight. She settled in and had some good stuff, but she fucked up this one bit, but you wouldn’t have known it, if she didn’t tell you and she was outspoken about it. It gave the feeling that she were in her dressing room and she wanted to run it by you first and felt free to curse and break character when it didn’t go as planned. She was still really funny and looked fantastic :

She only did about 20 mins, and I was a bit disappointed by that, but still I had a feeling that it would be about that length. Two more comedians came on after them and they were really good too, fun show and am glad that I went. As a testament to its casual atmosphere after the show in the courtyard that separates the club, she was just hanging out like everyone else. Not in a, “do you want your book signed?” way, but just a part of the crowd. So much so that when I finished smoking she was sitting in the corner by herself with no one else around. Now, I know that I am a big dork and she is my ultimate celebrity crush (and I know how lame it is to admit even having one of those) but I was trying to get myself to leave and not make a fool out of myself.
Those attempts were unsuccessful, as I contemplated, and second-guessed I finally went over there and said hello and started to talk to her.  We did share a laugh, and it was just cool to talk to her, so I made it brief and got the fuck out of there.

  
An Evening with Carol Burnett and Tim Conway – April 27th Saban Theater – Los Angeles, CA 
 
   Ok so for the first time in Los Angeles, comedy legend Carol Burnett and co-star Tim Conway appeared on a public stage together. They engaged in a conversation about Carol’s new book, This Time Together – Laughter and Reflection and took questions from the audience. Several things stuck me about this affair while I was there: For one, the event, given the buildup and pageantry, was entirely too short. The second thing is that the average age of audience member was over 60. What do those two things have in common? Well I was waaay at the top of the theater, and as I was leaving, it took me so long to get back down because of the elderly crowd that I joked that it took longer to exit than the entire show. (the show was about an hour).
 

 

 

 That’s not to say, that it wasn’t time well spent, because it was actually really great. Tim Conway is still one of the most brilliant and naturally funny people on the planet and he actually threatened to steal the show, as Carol Burnett seemed to have that disposition that I hear alot of comedians have is that, they just don’t feel the need to be funny when not working. And technically though she wasn’t performing she was still onstage, and when they both sat down, Conway came out guns-a-blazing, but she really didn’t come out her shell until the Q&A at the end. Conway seemed to make alot of jokes because of her quietness, and he killed every time. I was literally crying laughing at times.
After the conversation Burnett answered some questions from the audience,and this stuff always embarrasses me because people can be so embarrassing. One guy wanted a kiss, the other wanted her to do her signature Tarzan yell etc. One lady in particular I’ll give a pass to (sorta) as apparently she had waited a long time for this moment to deliver something to Burnett. She was clutching a framed photo that she passed to Burnett and told a story about the guy in the picture. Apparently it was her brother and as children they lived across the street from Burnett. You could tell she expected a huge reaction from Burnett, but she didn’t really sell it at all. She did acknowledge that she knew the person in the picture (which I’m sure was worth the validation). Burnett was still funny and charming and it was a great thrill just to see her in person.
(later than evening) Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live – El Rey Theater – Los Angeles, CASo I didn’t really get this, admittedly, I’m barely a casual fan of the TV show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but I feel like even if I was, (and maybe even more so) I would think this was pretty lame. The evening included mini-sketches, songs, videos, a ton of audience participation, a couple Squidbillies interludes (including a whole episode), a Meatwad impression contest, a guy who looked a lot like Carl eating cheesesteaks and too few/too underwhelming puppetry moments.

 

 

 

  Now, I will give them credit for packing the show with content, as I missed the first 30 mins (and sadly Schooly D’s entrance) but the thing still carried on for another two hours. The whole thing still felt more like a cash grab than anything really inspired, and its existence is completely unnecessary and does nothing to extend the brand in my opinion, and really hold nothing for its core audience. If you like the show, do you automatically like variety shows with puppets and musicals? Even if their in the likeness of? Too long and too lame.

RATT Returns to the Sunset Strip (April 2010)

RATT – April 20th –  The Key Club – Hollywood, CA

So I get to the Rainbow Bar & Grill to meet up with the employees that invited me to see RATT next door at the Key Club. While I’m waiting, I see two of the most tragic stereotypes comes to life. I wish I had a picture, but its really not needed. You know the history of the Rainbow, right when you walk in, to your left is the like the table right in front of the fireplace. It’s almost like a display for famewhores to flaunt, something right out of a movie. I’m standing there waiting, and there is this dude that is cartoonish in his that guy status. He’s sitting at the big table, alone wearing those silly goggles/shades, over 50, overweight and has ordered a spread for 10 people, including several bottles of Dom Perignon. He’s looking at me, and I think he was about to ask me to sit down, just so he would have someone to share it with. The other was the cigar-chomping, morbidly obese guy that only talks to one person, and then that person handles all his needs. Silly really.
Ok so, this is RATT’s first show on the Strip in in 20 years?, because they have gone on to fame and fortune and they are slumming it now, or doing that, giving it back to where they came from thing? Hardly, if you know their story than you know that they have been in pieces for most of that time, and their heyday long surpassed. But I have to give it to them, this reeked of legitimacy. Instead of playing the where are they now? fest down the road, just doing the hits, this was a release party/show for a new record, Infestation, that is actually pretty good. Meaning, it doesn’t sound like RATT 2010, its sounds just like RATT did in 1984, which is pretty impressive feat. And get this, fucking money was spent, a full billboard, and press line, and a sold out show. This was about as back as this band is gonna get.

 

 You get the impression that singer Steven Pearcy has zero self-awareness, as who’s idea was the press line? Probably his, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them when they walked down it outside the venue and their were all of five people taking photos, and four of them were wives/girlfriends taking pictures with disposable cameras, pretty embarrassing.

 

 Something else kinda funny happened, like a loser I was parked at a meter and didn’t have enough change so I had to run out and put more in before the show started. Right up the corner is a liquor store, so I bought an obligatory pack of gum, so I could get change. In line in front of me is a short dude with wet hair, that was a dead ringer for Pearcy, buying a bottle of somthing…cheap. We were both walking back to the club and I wanted to get in front of him to confirm that I just saw Pearcy buying his own booze from the corner store, after he just walked a press line. This dude was dodgy and clearly didn’t want to be recognized, and as I went straight, he ducked down the alley and into the side door of the club, totally had to be him haha.
Carlos Cavazo of Quiet Riot has replaced deceased guitarist, Robin Crosby, and they came out guns-a-blazing. 

 Alright! I thought, but Pearcy is such a turn-off, he does that thing Vince Neil does, where he only sings about every third lyric, but this was still about as strong as a showing that we were gonna get from these guys, and the crowd seemed really ready for it, so that was fun. One thing happened that was probably not so fun for those involved was, this dude in front of me and his girl. Dude, had taken the 80s Hair Metal thing to new heights with an Emo twist, I mean full on Halloween style. He was wearing more makeup and hair product than she was. This was probably considered hot by her and a few others, but was considered fodder for gay-bashing by this dude next to me. The next thing I know, gay-basher is literally cracking a bottle over emo-kid’s head! Now, I had observed the emo couple for a bit, and found reasons to find them nauseating other than their attire, but dude didn’t deserve that shit. The thing I remember most, was her taking off her, what looked like a really expensive jacket and using it to clean his face that was bleeding profusely. Either she had alot of money or really loved this dude, regardless I was sorta moved by it. Even more so, that they didn’t leave the show, and just kept on rocking!
After the show we went back to the Rainbow and it was insanely packed. In the smaller bar downstairs I run into these two girls that were standing in front of me at the show that were dressed like anime characters. They recognize me too, and we start talking. One of them is so wasted that I was kinda frightened of her, but the other one was pretty sober and ok. The sober one for whatever coincidental reason starts talking about the band Clutch, and telling me she is dating the merch guy, unbeknown to her my relationship with the band. So I said “you mean Shawn?” – and she was startled like “how do you know that?” – so we kinda bonded and we all hung out at the Rainbow until closing, then we went to the famous Denny’s on La Cienga, and then finally I made it back down the canyon and home safe.

Summer Heat Up w/ Billy Idol, The Cult & More (Summer 2010)

Billy Idol – August 24th – 2010 The Palladium Ballroom – Dallas, TX

Ok so this was very last minute as I hadn’t planned on going to this show nor do I prioritize Billy Idol (at least not since I was 11). Singer-dude, has to throw a bone to his wife every once in awhile and needed my assistance to do so, so last minute I scored 3 tickets and met them up at the show. Idol’s people were cool enough and gave me the full backstage ride with my tickets. I meet up with married-rawker-couple and Idol was about 3 songs in. I had no idea he still kicked this much ass. Now, I wouldn’t even have considered going if he hadn’t reunited with his long-time guitarist, Steve Stevens, who still rules.

 


I was so surprised at how fun this was, and how legit it seemed. Billy Idol holds an important place in annals of my story-telling as he should have been my first concert. When his biggest LP. Rebel Yell was having its run, I was barely 10, though mature for my age, and I literally worshiped Billy Idol. You should have seen my amalgamation of trying to emulate my heroes, it was like MTV had thrown up on me. I had the Union Jack t-shirt of Def Leppard’s Joe Elliot, the blonde spikes of Billy Idol, the leather spikes of Judas Priest, and for whatever reason…Parachute Pants (look ’em up kids) however in my defense in the Photograph video Elliot does appear to be wearing something similar, so maybe that was my inspiration. Of course I was completely unaware of how silly I looked, but I didn’t care, I thought I was cool haha. So it was this kid that was pumping his fist, finally in the midnight howl.
Something kinda funny happened, while we were standing there, this couple and a third girl were standing in front of us, when literally out of nowhere, I guess the solo gal felt lonely/jealous, she grabs me violently and leads me off to go dance with her. Not that I had much choice, but ok I thought, but when we were dancing it was soon apparent that she was so drunk she could barely stand, and completely unaware of the crowd around us, which caused her to do very unpredictable things. Not to mention she looked like that situation at the strip club where from afar the dancer looks ok, but as you approach you are like “Oh fuck!”. I got the hell out of there after half a song.
After the show I went backstage, and met Billy, but very briefly as they were on their way out. Everyone seemed to be going to this bar in Deep Ellum called Reno’s so we decided to head there.(later that evening) Harptallica – The Nightmare – Dallas, TXOk so we wind up at this metal bar called Reno’s, and we are not there very long before I’m hearing that a few streets over their is something called Harptallica about to perform. It was exactly what your thinking, and it was freaking awesome.


   I didn’t even know this existed and  I was prepared to not take such a thing very seriously at all. Its sensibilities attracted an anything but metal crowd, but rather that hipster, ironic thing. You know the guy that wears Iron Maiden t-shirts, ironically?. Few things get under my skin as much as this, and by the looks of the performers, they looked like vegans from Portland who birthed the idea of this from a late night bong rip, but when they started to play, all bets were off. This was real, and these girls could play, and they played like a couple of freaking angels. I was mesmerized, by the sound, their prowess and how complicated the arrangements were, that it sounded like 20 people on stage, and it was just these two young girls. I hit the merch booth afterwords with a vengeance, buying one of everything, and also for Ryan, my bff and Metallica fanatic, who I was texting throughout the show saying “You are missing out!”.
Afterwords I walked back to Reno’s where my car was and I hear someone calling my name and its Paris (see Rock N America).
Wearing the tightest jeans I’ve ever seen and a freaking tube top, her sexuality was just relentless (and she’s only 19).
But I’m not one of those dudes that hits on her constantly (their were a couple of those dudes standing around, clearly disappointed by my arrival) so she was genuinely happy to see me as I was of her and we had a nice catchup and I told her about the upcoming Ween tour.
The Cult  – House of Blues – Dallas, TX – September 27thThe show starts, and its clear right off the bat, that singer Ian Astbury has permanently lost the plot. Whatever has happened to this guy is still happening and looks like it will continue as he was even more embarrassing than the last time I saw them.
Let me walk you through a brief history:
Now the Cult have never been one of MY bands, but I do like them, and mainly cause I was so inspired by a performance I saw of theirs my Senior year of High School, that to this day is still in my Top 5 shows I’ve ever seen. So, like a sap, I still cling to that memory and go see the Cult every year. But how did it get so bad and to this point?
Shortly after that legendary performance, the band took a break and Astbury did a solo record and tour and that’s probably where the problems began. I remember seeing that tour and Astbury was drunk and embarrassing and falling all over the place.
He really is like a drunker, Liam Gallagher. A few years after that, I saw them reclaim it a bit, but then I didn’t see them for a really long time until I moved to NYC and about 3 years ago so them play at the Hammerstein Ballroom.
I was impressed that they could still play a place that large and prestigious, had free tickets and have always wanted to see this building.
The night was memorable for several things:
1) It was one of the first dates with this craazzy Chinese girl I dated very briefly, who only weighed 90 lbs, covered in tattoos, and showed up in a skin tight catsuit, and was a scary, drunken disaster the whole night.
2) After the show we went backstage, and while back there, no matter how much Chinese girl tried to embarrass us, I met one of the most interesting, funny, stylish, stupid-gorgeous and just ridiculously awesome individuals I can ever recall. She totally saved me from the embarrassment of Chinese Girls’ antics, and was just so much fun to talk to and be around. She looked like a movie star, and since then we have become friends, and she has gone on to become the famous porn star, Ryan Keely.
3) This was one of the worst shows I have ever seen.To come full circle in this post, the drummer for the band for the last few years (and also that NYC show) is John Tempesta, who I mentioned earlier in the Exodus portion of this post. But that was about the only cool thing about his show. Astbury, couldn’t hit the notes, was behind the beat, and openly criticized his band, which is so unprofessional and makes everyone uncomfortable. His between-song-spiels were cringe inducing.

 They also did that thing where they started the show playing way too many songs in a row off of a new, mediocre album. I’m all for relevancy, and wasn’t here to just hear the hits, but when a band has been in pieces for this long, its arrogant to walk out and play 8 songs in a row from a record that most in the audience don’t own. Astbury just seems clueless and a total prick.

Photos –Roy Turner
Mike Insuaste
Rich Lopez
Tom MurphyDirt Junior