#Festivals

Austin City Limits Fest 2009

Wed Sept 30th

Made my way to Dallas and out to Fort Worth to catch the Amtrak train to Austin, TX for this year’s big 3 day Austin City Limits Festival. It didn’t start till Friday but I got there a few days early because Them Crooked Vultures were doing a couple of special shows prior to the festival. If you don’t already know (see the August/Lollapalooza entry below for more) that they are a three-piece comprised of Josh Homme (Kyuss/QOTSA), Dave Grohl and freaking John Paul Jones.
The first show was a taping for the legendary TV show (and the festival’s namesake) Austin City Limits. I’ve always wanted to attend one of these unforgettable performances that I’ve always admired no matter who was playing, but this was not to be believed. (thank you Leslie for the hookup).

  I was surprised that alot of people expected them to actually do songs from their other respective bands, and were disappointed when they didn’t. This was a new band making a new statement (their record wasn’t even out yet) and some people still just wanted to hear the same ol, same ol.

Thurs Oct 1st

Back for round two (three if you count Chicago) as now Them Crooked Vultures were doing a public show at Stubb’s as a warmup to their big coming out at the festival on Friday. This was a fun show and a testament to the legendary careers that all three have had, cause no one had even heard a note of this new music and the show sold out in minutes based upon the member’s collective reputations. That was a neat thing to witness and be a part of. Unbearably packed (but thankfully well mannered) and hot in there, the anticipation was huge and when they took the stage the noise was deafening.
This show was identical to the first show in Chicago.

 A big difference and nothing against Chicago but this crowd was so appreciative that it made you proud to be there. Homme who is known for his quips had a great line when JPJ changed from bass to keytar ” Only John Paul Jones could make the keytar look badass”. Here is the set-list from the show:

Fri Oct 2nd

The first day of the festival was here and I tried to prepare myself for the heat and the crowds. I had a late night the night before as after the TCV show at Stubb’s I went to a party at the Beauty Bar which is basically across the street. Made it downtown to Artist Pickup and got my wristbands and finally got to the festival a little after 5pm.

  This was my third year to attend the festival but strangely the first time in five years. Since then I had been to all of the Coachellas and a few of the Lollapalooza‘s and Bonnaroos, but this is a really nice one to attend. Its put on by C3presents (the same company that does Lollapalooza) and its in Austin and who doesn’t love Austin, Texas?
The Artist van drops me off in front of the artists lounge and the great people that do the nationwide free ice cream campaign are the first people I see with their truck parked right at the front of the lounge. Some of the best people you will ever meet, check out his site, its so awesome – icecreamman.com

  So after getting settled and embarrassing myself with a few rounds of the new Beatles Rock Band, I meet a rad local girl (who ironically was the singer in my newly formed fab four) and we head out to see our first band of the day, Thievery Corporation.

They were really good and I had always wanted to see them. Now some will fault me as the festival started at 11am and I didn’t see a band till 630pm but it was hot and admittedly more comfortable in the back with the free food so sue me 🙂
As soon as they ended we had our shuttle driver haul ass to the other side of the festival to see (you guessed it) Them Crooked Vultures. How’s this for obsessive? – This was only their fourth show in the US ever at this point and at that time I had seen ALL of them and three times in as many days. All of those shows had been club shows or other special events but this really the FIRST show in front of a huge crowd and it had that feel to it. If I had had thought the crowd was loud the night before, it paled in comparison to this ovation. It was interesting to see the appeal that John Paul Jones had on the crowd. Though the majority of the this crowd was the young and hip culture that Austin is known for, it was neat to see that some people had come to see JPJ solely and actually didn’t know who the other two people in the band were. That’s dedication.

    This show was identical to the television taping just a few days prior. Though I had it pretty much down at this point, this is a great new exciting thing that must be witnessed.
My new Austin friend was chomping at the bit to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs who were thankfully playing on the adjacent stage right after. We scrambled around to watch from backstage but couldn’t really see anything so we got as close as we could up front. Now I don’t really have anything to add to my previous and recent description of their performance at Lollapalooza (see previous entry) and I’m of course biased.
But they were replacing the Beastie Boys again just like this past August but this time they didn’t make the nod to them like that show. They did however put on a very powerful and visually entertaining show as always.
 So after they played my new friend and I walk out of Zilker Park and you can see that this festival has just taken over the whole town. This city is always alive with young, progressive people, but this was total meltdown and all the vendors had lined the streets with tents selling their wares, apparently the demographic is alot of tie-dye and bong hits. Good times though as we danced in the streets with everyone else and made our way to get something to eat.
Her and I had different agendas however as she had a birthday to attend so I had her drop me off at Emo’s where some friends of mine from Brooklyn,  !!! (pronounced chk chk chk) where doing a warm up gig of their own before playing the festival tomorrow. For those not familiar, they are one of the most fun and energetic live shows you will ever witness. They have reached beloved status because of their legendary live show and when they hit stage around midnight people were ready to get down!
I have seen a half a dozen of theirs shows or so and I say this every time I see them but this was one of the best ever. The energy and momentum is incomparable. (Editor’s Note: Since this time and now drummer Jerry Fuchs died in a freak accident in Brooklyn- We miss you Jerry R.I.P.)

 I danced my ass off and had a great time as the ended with the one-two punch of Intensify and Heart of Hearts. Got out of the show around 2am and waited to meet a friend who was coming from Round Rock to have a late night meal with me. She finally shows up around 3am and we go to Austin staple Kerbey Lane by the University. A bit of a wait even at this late hour because of the festival so after we eat and talk and she drops me off its after 6am.

Sat Oct 3rd

The night before Nic (chk chk chk) said that since they are going on at 2pm that if I came to the Emo’s gig I didn’t have to show up early. I wanted to prove him wrong but alas I didn’t get into bed until 7am. I didn’t even wake up till after 2pm and when I did it was really gross and rainy outside. Not the ideal setting for a mass outdoor event (more on this later).
I met up and had lunch with Nic and Paul from (chk chk chk) and I asked them how their set was despite the gross conditions and early start time. Those guys could throw a party anywhere.
Then I ventured out to catch the last half of Trail of Dead, another Austin mainstay that are always great live. It wasn’t just raining, it was a freaking buzzkill. Lightening and misery just made everyone and everything seem gross. I did stick it out to see the first couple of songs from Mos Def, who seemed totally unaffected by the rain and brought a huge posse of dancers and a live band. This would have killed in a club and I was disappointed that the conditions made me just want to be a big wuss and retreat to the comfort in the Artists Lounge.

  One of the things I was most looking forward to today was the arrival of my oldest friend Chris Todd and his wife Tammy. They weren’t getting in till after Day 2 of music was over so I promised him I would check out Devotchka. I know I sound so spoiled but wait till you see the pics of the fucking mudpeople, I hold no since of nostalgia for Woodstock nor a need to recreate it, but I kept my word and checked out a bit of their set, and I’m glad I did, they were fantastic.

Now that the rain had cleared and it was night-time (always a bit of an incentive as far as mood goes) I was ready to experience another Austin export that I’ve hearing about from everywhere, Ghostland Observatory. The cool thing about this was that I literally had NO idea what they were about period. Even based on what I heard they were totally (and refreshingly) different. I thought I was gonna be in for like a Radiohead clone (to illustrate just how removed I was from them) but just as I got up to the scaffolding side stage, these two freaks (that being a Texas native, these two could ONLY have come from the Lone Star State) come walking out, one wearing a Tron/Dr. Who looking electric cape and the other was a cross between Richard Petty and any cast member of Easy Rider. So what is THIS gonna sound like? The crowd is already going crazy and then here it comes: This dancy wailing banshee freak show complete with laser light show, just fucking awesome. It occurred to me however what a feat that they had brought this to such a high-profile level, cause being in this business as long as I have and being from Texas I could easily see this just being something that 50 people in Austin care about (but those 50 would REALLY freaking care).  From my perspective I was able to get a small shot of Mos Def who was dancing a jig behind the drum riser that was completely obscured to the audience.

Then has the show had reached such a high momentum, they did a fun smart thing, that dials right into that Texas local pride by bringing out the UT Austin Longhorns Marching Band to join them for a few songs.

Sun Oct 4th

No sleeping in today, as it was the last day of the festival, and I had to meet with my com padres Clutch who got a shitty time slot of 2pm. However the weather did take a nice sunny turn, but when I got to the site, holy shit, yesterday’s monsoon had just the sheer power of the foot traffic had turned the general population area into mushy peat bog about a foot deep. You could literally smell the ooze in the air, probably because as always there are some good-natured folks who embrace this sort of thing and can’t resist saying “fuck it, let’s become Swamp Thing“.

   So after hitting the Lounge for an early lunch I went to meet up with Clutch, whom I’ve had a long history with throughout the years. It was cool watching them rehearse out in the open and so early in the day down beneath the stage. Now it was showtime and they were all business, so I bid them a good show and took my place sidestage. Obviously given the short set-time they wanted to showcase their newest record Strange Cousins from the West as seven of their nine songs were from that record. For a band I’ve come to know so well, it was great to see them so out of their element which is completely what they strive for and deliver every time.

    

   Next up was time for some other old friends of mine from Fort Worth, the Toadies.  Hadn’t seen them since London over the Summer. They are like the equivalent of Classic Rock in Texas, just perfect for a sunny day in Austin who gave them a hero’s welcome. They played exactly what you would expect in a festival set, right to the hits, no bullshit, and then whipped out Got a Heart, which was a nice surprise.

        After their set I hung out with Mark (drummer) and his wife for a bit catching up and debating if we all wanted to eat or go see the Dirty Projectors. The heat was taking its toll, so food it is (Nourishment 1 – Indie – Trust Fund Rock 0) but the shuttles were so congested we had to wait forever for one (which became the theme of the day,so it made the decision of how bad you wanted something interesting), so we just split up and met back up in the catering tent.
Their merch guy Tony used to be in a Dallas band Hagfish, along with their new bass player Donni Blair and his brother Zach who is now in Rise Against, who joined us for lunch but I don’t know if he was playing that day or not. After eating I took as much juice/soda/water I can carry out to the general population to find Chris and his wife and some other friends of mine to offer them something that no doubt being overcharged for, when I made it about 5 yards in and I literally started to sink. I felt guilty about it but I was getting the fuck out of that mess!
   Now it was time for something I was greatly anticipating, The Dead Weather. To know me is to know my complete and utter devotion to the music of Jack White, and now that would take on yet a different form as he has yet another new band where this time he is playing drums. Another cool thing (and a testament to our friendship) is that although Chris and I haven’t any contact whatsoever is over five years, during that time he had developed a similar obsession, so it was great to share this excitement with him.
Besides Jack White the band is rounded out by Alison Mosshart ( The Kills) , Dean Fertita (Queens of the Stone Age) Jack Lawrence who is White’s partner in crime in his other band The Raconteurs.
This is designed to go down in a small, dark, smokey club around 1am but they killed! My fave set all weekend and perhaps one of the best of the year.

    Now this next part requires a little bit of explaining and a backstory if you like. I was prepared to make an effort right after the Dead Weather finished to go to the other side of the festival to see Girl Talk. As a DJ and a fan of music and a marveler of mashups and as someone who is pretty dialed in to popular culture this was something intriguing to me. I’ve heard everyone back in Brooklyn talking about him, I’ve heard and downloaded his stuff and was very impressed, enjoyed the backstory of this guy being some mad scientist who quit his career as a bio-mechanics engineer to rock the house etc.. I bought it, I was in, let’s go.
Now for this space I’m not gonna lead a pretentious type of discussion about what is truly a DJ, should they be looked at as musicians etc…all that crap you have heard before. I have my own ideas about all of that, none probably original so I’ll spare you and just talk about the experience.
The shuttle driver drops me off behind the stage where there is already a mob of people trying to get a glimpse. I had seen pictures of his performances and it looks like New Year’s Eve everytime so I get the hype. He’s got his finger on the pulse of that FIT, NYLON Magazine reading, 18-20 female crowd, that brings dudes of all ages around as well, so he really can’t do no wrong here.
However, what I witnessed was absolute shit. Call me an old curmudgeon who’s lost the plot but this whole thing had no place for me and I can’t help but feel all the better for it.  As so super lame as it sounds and I hate it myself when I hear people say this, but the entire time I was witnessing it I could hear a little voice of reason saying “This is exactly what’s wrong with everything, this is the defining example of where everything went to shit”.
Now having said that, he played, people danced and smiled (a few even got naked) and I’m sure a majority of people left that with a feeling of a good time and that’s great they should. My problem lies not in the absurdity of its popularity but its power. From behind the stage I could hear people chanting stuff in unison but didn’t know what was leading the charge. I learned later it was the screen they were facing (that I was behind) and all of the requests no matter how preposterous (like…”throw money in mud” ..and a few questionable ones)  were fulfilled.
As I watched this from sidestage, all these people were onstage dancing with him to make it a party, and everyone else was trying to get onstage to join them.  And the admittance regardless of credentials was some super lame velvet rope thing a la Studio 54, with some intern in shades (it was 8pm at night) making the selection. “what the fuck am I doing here?” I exclaimed and the problems only begin with the social aspects of this travesty.
Now again, if you go to FIT, read NYLON and you are reading this you will probably say “Dude, relax and dance” and you will probably be right and if you are everyone else you should criticize me for having waaay too much to say on something so insignificant.

      Now another surprise came but this time from some familiar faces. In the early 90’s I got to experience as a very young person, the great boom of new music that came out of Seattle, that everyone still talks about and makes silly claims about its importance or non-importance. Great time to be a young person and I was right in the middle of it, but because of my punk/metal/thrash tastes at the time I had to be a convert. I liked the heaviness of Nirvana and Soundgarden and my age would dictate that I enjoyed belonging to the something from its beginning. You really couldn’t be into just one of these bands, even though they were sold separately, they may as well just bundled them because once you had Nevermind or Badmotorfinger surely you had to buy Ten to complete the set.  Much like growing up in the 80’s you were surely into G.I. Joe , Transformers, and He-Man, but someone had to be number three.
For me, this is where Pearl Jam has always stood. I really enjoyed them, think they are an incredible band, one of the best live bands I still have ever seen to this day (hell I even worked at Stone Gossard‘s label Loosegroove for a period) but the interest somehow didn’t come as natural after somewhere around that third record.  Working in music I was aware of their subsequent releases, and even if you didn’t who could forget their headline-grabbing (and at times…temple-scratching) decisions like battling Ticketmaster and releasing their entire tours live to diffuse the bootleggers of their profit.
Since I was caring less about the music I was caring less about the cause so eventually I tuned out completely. So that’s why although their popularity hasn’t waned, I really had no idea that since 1996 when I last gave a fuck that this band had become this generation’s Grateful Dead.  Seems that everyone I spoke to only came on Sunday and only to see them. Everywhere you looked on Sunday it was the Pearl Jam nation.
So I thought I should check some of this out, and what followed was a two hour + marathon that would make anyone a believer. I knew that this was a high-profile gig and it has that potential of something special happening, but it was so effortless that it gave me the impression that this is what happens at all of their gigs, hence the cult like following.
I saw Perry Farrell backstage shortly before they hit stage, struck by inspiration going on about how he wanted to get up and do his own band’s Mountain Song and how unforgettable it would be.
Here is the setlist and pics from the show: (including a great pic of when Eddie Vedder joined the mud-people)

 

Setlist –
   1.Why Go
2.Corduroy
3.Got Some
4.Not For You
5.Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town
6.Given To Fly
7.World Wide Suicide
8.Even Flow
9.Unthought Known
10.Daughter
11.Hail Hail
12.Insignificance
13.Present Tense
14.State Of Love And Trust
15.The Fixer
16.GoEncore:17.Jazz Odyssey
18.Red Mosquito (with Ben Harper)
19.Do The Evolution
20.The Real Me (The Who cover)
21.AliveEncore 2:22.Mountain Song (Jane’s Addiction cover w/ Perry Farrell)
23.Rockin’ in the Free World (Neil Young cover)
   I mean fan or not who could fuck with this?, my goodness. What other band could put an exclamation point on the weekend as being the last band on the last day in this fashion? Now I get it, fucking legendary.
I made my way back to the Lounge to catch the shuttle back to downtown. Chris and his wife had made an early exit to get cleaned up from all of the mud and we had planned to meet up a bit later to go to another party. The next two hours became very social, I don’t because if it was the end but everyone was talking to everybody. I first ran into my good friend Sam from LA (who was working the event and ironically was my assigned shuttle driver) as I was taking the golf cart back to pickup I rode with this couple who were on something of a third date and I turned on the cut-through-the-bullshit mode that I’m known for and started asking questions that clearly they were both afraid to ask each other. An hour later they came to find me to tell me that they had decided to make their relationship official and it was because of what I said and they were thanking me profusely. Good times.
As I was walking out some of the guys in Pearl Jam were coming in namely Jeff Ament, and behind him I see Doug Pinnick (King’s X)  & he came up and we had a nice chat.  I knew that he had some correlation to Jeff Ament as its seems every interview I’ve read over the years Jeff has found someone way to talk about King’s X and I think they are working on a project together, so it wasn’t a surprise to see him hanging with PJ, but as any performer who is not scheduled to play its surprising and exciting to see them.
So after I talked to Doug for awhile, Sam told me the van was ready and it was time to go. So I and a few of the performers climbed into the van, and here is where things come full circle. I was to be the last stop as I was going to the farthest and so I could hang with Sam for a bit, and the last two people were me and this other dude who were both going to the same place (Beauty Bar) and as we are talking its starting to occur to me that this is the Girl Talk dude. Greg I believe his name was, was totally cool and really funny and I kinda felt bad for talking shit earlier (but not really haha). He’s telling me that he wants to do a gig right now at the Beauty Bar since no one knows anything about it. All I can think of is the walls caving in with throngs of girls from American Apparel ads (not such a bad thought) besieging the place as their cool status couldn’t sustain the notion of missing something so hush hush once word got around.
I thought now to have Sam take me somewhere else but this is where I was to meet Chris and his wife and my oldest friends works here too who I hadn’t had the chance to say hello to yet. Girl Talk dude and I go into the Beauty Bar and within minutes I’m hearing that the place is not prepared for the headache of what would happen once word got out, so they put the kibosh on it and I saw him leave shortly after.
Two girls from San Francisco were chatting me up and dancing and as the place was closing they asked if I knew of any other after-parties.
I had heard that something was going on at the Congress Bridge, but those things usually get busted and in a hurry, but these girls were anxious to make their last night continue, so into a cab and off to the bridge we go. As we walk up their is Greg Girl Talk dude…again (someone is following somebody).  I had to admire him for wanting to rawk it here as this was about as real deal as it gets, open and to the public.
As expected, he hadn’t got two bars into the first track and here come the police:

 

Lollapalooza 2009

Sat Aug 8th

  Was gonna be hooking up with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs today, as they were asked last minute to replace the Beastie Boys who were forced to cancel because of Adam Yauch’s cancer scare. Then the mini-gig between acts on Perry Farrell’s stage. This city has this whole thing so perfectly organized. I was at this (since its been a destination festival in Chicago) once before when I was touring with Ween in 2006.
Got checked in and wrist-banded and all that and in time to catch the last half of Atmosphere who were awesome as always, and headed to my little between act mini-gig I was doing for Sony Playstation.
Insanely hot, and more crowded than I expected it being so early. Farrell had just done a little something on this stage so people were still around checking it out. Massive amounts of people.

  Thankfully my go-cart driver was savvy but I still had to fight to get to the stage to Santigold. The love for her was off the charts and got some of this biggest reaction all weekend. She was so freaking awesome, and probably the most fun I had of all the bands I saw. I saw her at the Moveon.org Pre-Inaugural Ball in D.C. earlier this year and this was no less fantastic. Did her portion of Jay-Z’s “Brooklyn (Go Hard)” and covered The Cure’s “Killing an Arab”. Astounding.

  I opted out of seeing Lyyke Li again for TV on the Radio, whom I can’t recall ever seeing in spite of the fact that they live down the street from me. I’m sure I have I just couldn’t remember because if they were this good last time I would have remembered, wow. They are one of those bands that I’m so sick and tired of hearing people heap praise upon, but it’s pretty undeniable, they rule. One of the most original bands in recent memory, and I have no one to compare them to.

   Now it was time to get the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s stage. One of the big moments of this band’s shows is the anticipation of what singer Karen O will be wearing this time. It’s literally just as much as part of the package as anything the band will play. It usually an original piece she has pulled together and its always over the top and never fails to steal the spotlight. When I saw her putting it on backstage, the look of glee on her face in a “wait till they get a load of me” smirk, let me know this more than a gimmick to her as she was visibly nervous as the stakes had been raised since they were filling in for the Beastie Boys. Acknowledging this by just doing the first couple bars of “Sabotage” was classy and subtle.

So after they got going I had to eat something as I hadn’t most of the day. Now one thing at these things (and you wonder why artists act like spoiled brats) is that they really take care of you. Golf carts to the stage of your choice, full catered meals and all the booze you can handle. So I had my driver take me to catering to see what was left of dinner. After I ate, I went to the Artists Lounge for a drink, and met these two really fun local girls. One of them, Chasity, I found to be a kindred spirit and this girl made me laugh from the second she said hello. We were behind the stage that Tool was playing at and I haven’t seen or cared about this band since I was in High School. One of the great things about this kind of festival is that it makes it easy to see things you would normally never patronize. If the circus was in your backyard, you might bend your neck to have a look right? Same principal here.  So we decided to walk down and check out the end of their set. I could hear the singer but I couldn’t spot him anywhere, and it wasn’t because of lack of perspective, it was like he was literally hiding. So the jokes of him phoning in his performance were abound.

Here are some tweets from the day:
“Tool are decent players but they are stuck in a really lame image and their fans are the worst.”
“Tv on the Radio are so freaking good. #Lollapalooza2009 ”
“Santigold is doing the Cure’s “Killing an Arab”
“the love for Santigold is off the charts! my goodness”
“just saw Atmosphere tear shit apart. #Lollapalooza09 “
 So I met back up with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs who were headed to the Spin Magazine Party, and it was then I was so thankful that my hotel was right across the street as I had time to change clothes, take a 10 min nap and make it there by midnight. Of course when I got there, there was this whole scene outside trying to get in, but we were ushered right in through a side door. I was excited about the lineup of Santigold with the GZA, followed by Passion Pit. This kind of music really thrives in this late-night kind of environment.

    Free booze and the like were flowing when I met two more locals that made the trip memorable. A really charming girl was chatting me up while holding her boyfriend’s camera equipment while he was shooting in the next room. One of the best conversations on the whole tour, I found out she’s a writer and all around bad ass. Her boyfriend was (obviously a photographer) and equally as cool. Ended up hanging with them for the rest of the evening. They insisted on taking a pic with me despite the fact that due to the events of the day I looked eerily similar to a member of Lynard Skynard.

Said goodbye to the Yeahs and my new friends after Passion Pit finished and made the walk back down Michigan Ave to my hotel before the sun came up. Knew tomorrow was gonna be more of the same. Good times.

Sun Aug 9th

I go have dinner where I met back up with Chasity. She was even more lovely than the day before and such fun that one, as who else could have talked me into going to see Snoop Dogg while in a food coma?

  He was fun like you would expect (as I’ve seen before) and this time he even had a full band with him to round out the sound. However, performance wise, it was as disposable as his image. A series of cookie-cutter call and response routines that made no difference, no impact and will not be remembered.
Chasity and I parted and promised to meet back up for Jane’s Addiction later, as I returned to my comfort seat in the south end to catch a bit of Lou Reed. Now no one can take away this man’s legend, or underestimate his contributions to the tapestry of Rock and Roll, but none of those also offer him a pass for the shit he pulled on this day. Every interview I’ve read with him as far as I can remember paints him to be a prick of the highest order. That bitter curmudgeon, with little regard for anything outside of his sphere. After living in NYC for awhile I’ve encountered these types in an albeit less famous capacity, but as far as I can tell, they walk around with a sense of entitlement that may be afforded to them, but they seem to think it makes them exempt from everything.
I will refer to Lou Reed’s “appearance” as more of a tantrum as compared to an actual performance. He bitched and moaned about technical specs, stopped more songs than he started and didn’t seem to care about momentum. Even more in bad taste was that if he seemed like he was reading instead of actually  singing its because he was. Get a load of the lyric monitors:

 He also went over his time delaying Band of Horses from starting on time by almost a half an hour. Dude just stay home next time.
Now it was time for the big buildup for the final band of the festival. Fittingly the weekend should end with Lollapalooza’s founder and the headliner of its original year: Jane’s Addiction. One thing that does annoy me at these events that the last band always pulls some ego thing where suddenly everyone’s credentials are deemed worthless during their set and you have to have these sudden new ones only distributed by the band. How fucking velvet rope horseshit can you get? And yet I’ve seen ALOT of bands do it. This time Jane’s pulled that shit, but coming from them, it wasn’t like a big shocker. I could really care less anyway, they meant literally NOTHING to me in the 90’s and I saw them earlier this year at the Playboy Party in Austin in a small intimate setting. The only thing is that I was already backstage and it made it difficult to get through the traffic to go out into the field to find Chasity and some other friends. So I ended up watching by myself and really I was so tired at that point they could have been joined by The Police and I couldn’t have cared less. However the show did yield a special guest in the form of Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry (I guess just looking for something to do while Steven Tyler is recuperating) on Jane Says.

  I was also trying to reserve my energy to catch a second wind, because this may have been the festival’s last act but I was ending my weekend in Chicago with one more band. The unthinkable collaboration that had been rumored for months was finally going to be a reality. Under a shroud of mystery, who given the weight of the players was totally justified, the trio of Josh Homme, Dave Grohl and John Paul Jones, collectively known (as we learned just days before) as Them Crooked Vultures, were making an historic live debut at historic venue the Metro tonight.
The band had no album, no single, not so much as a snippet, with given the climate of today is nothing short of a miracle, making it truly a debut, as NO ONE had heard ANYTHING. But again given the people onstage, expectations were extremely high, and were met and exceeded. We didn’t even know what to call the band as we learned later with their “official” name was. When you entered that night, instead of a ticket you just received a wristband that had the date/venue name, and 3 symbols (a la Led Zeppelin IV) with the Foo Fighters logo, the Q from the Queens of the Stone Age logo, and naturally John Paul Jones’s symbol from Zeppelin’s untitled fourth album.

Monday Aug 10th

So to illustrate how awesome Chicago is, I was staying across the street from Millennium Park and since today was my last day in Chicago I wanted to check it out and it being so close why not. I really wanted to do some John Hughes stuff but the weather in the early part of the day didn’t really permit it.
So I grab some food and after eating I cross the street to check out the park when I stumble upon a FREE Shellac show about to start! Holy freaking awesome!
The park is gorgeous and it looks like a place where a symphony would get down as compared to a weird punk band, but it had that same feel of like Fugazi in D.C., when a band is just embedded in the DNA of a city like that.

Right as I sit down in the seats up front, another staple of Chicago sits down with his family right in front of me. I didn’t want to bother him but like a loser I had to try to sneak a photo.  Can you spot Jeff Tweedy in this pic?

My gosh who’s next Barack Obama? Al Capone? This was very Chicago. Shellac bring some uncomfortable and unsettling to the table. Like you know this isn’t gonna be the verse-chorus-verse/fake ending/3 song encore thing. This was gonna be unpredictable and vulnerable, and it totally was. The bassist would answer questions while the band tuned, to much hilarity. The drummer was running all over the place with his drums. Their was definitely an indie/political vibe but the performance certainly didn’t suffer.

UK Adventures: Return of Faith No More + Clutch & Anthrax rawk the HMS & more (July/2009)

I hadn’t been to London in almost 5 years, and this one my first time over there as a new business owner. I have friends there that I hadn’t seen in way too long, so the work kept mounting, and the pressing need to do some biz over there became too much and off went, to the allure of fresh fish and alot of great shows.

Faith No More – July 10th – Brixton Academy – London, England U.K.

Well I slept in pretty late as you can imagine, but then I got it together to make my way to Brixton for something I’ve been greatly anticipating, the Faith No More reunion. This was their first show anywhere in 11 years, and also the venue from their much beloved  Live at the Brixton Academy LP.  The show was incredible and I was totally in awe of getting to see these guys again. I haven’t felt compelled to let it all hang out like that in some time, but I went ballistic and was one of the wilder ones down front. Bonded with these three rad Polish girls, who kept looking over at me to see if I knew the words, and when I consistently did, apparently I had passed initiation. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited. Felt good. Afterwards, my new Polish crew invited me to have some post-show drinks with them. Took a bus to Liverpool St. in the constant rain, and then caught the overground back to Eric Clapton.
The show was unbelievable without any kind of partisan. There was just something in the air, and the crowd was so appreciative and grateful that I (along with the band was taken aback) this went very very well.

Setlist –

Reunited (Peaches & Herb cover)
The Real Thing
From Out of Nowhere
Land of Sunshine
Caffeine
Evidence
Chinese Arithmetic
Surprise! You’re Dead!
Easy (Commodores cover)
Last Cup of Sorrow
Midlife Crisis
Cuckoo for Caca
The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
RV
King for a Day
Malpractice/Jizzlobber
Be Aggressive
Epic
Mark Bowen

Encore:

Stripsearch (Chariots of Fire Intro)
Just a Man

Encore 2:

I Started a Joke (Bee Gees cover)
Pristina

I had wished I had remembered to take a pic of the marquee at Brixton, as I logged into Blabbermouth the next day that problem was solved and I was even in the pic. How embarassing?

 

Metal Hammer Cruise w/ Clutch & Anthrax – July 15 – River Thames – London, England U.K.

This day will go do in history as one of the best musical days of my entire life. Had meetings all morning with Rough Trade, but then I made my way to the pier for the Metal Hammer Cruise with Clutch and Anthrax. I arrived and barely made it on the boat in time before it sailed. To gain access to the boat, everyone was given samurai headbands and you’ve not lived until you’ve seen 300 metalheads banging their heads while looking like Daniel Laruso. This was incredible. floating down the River Thames on a boat seeing my old friends do their thing, and I hadn’t seen an Anthrax show in over 10 years so that was fun too.

 

After a three hour tour (see what I did there?) it docks at the 02 Arena for that night’s Metal Hammer Golden Gods Awards. It was cool see this already famed arena from the outside, where Prince did his 21 night run, Led Zeppelin had their reunion and to see all of the hoopla for the upcoming unthinkable 50 date run from Michael Jackson (R.I.P. MJ WE LOVE YOU)
I had an invitation and would normally have attended but I had bigger fish to fry.

( Tues July 15th

Still in utter disbelief over the events of the previous day, I set out to continue the adventure. I had meeting in Knightsbridge in the morning and then I made my way to the University of London Union, where I met with the professors of their Music Business Program. Given the current state of the Music Industry, the old model as we now understand is obsolete and the students of these Universities who have been studying the old model for the last several years need to be re-educated via crash course. I’ve spent the last year and a half speaking at Universities and at Music Conferences around the world speaking on a variety of specific topics as well as the Music Industry as a whole. ((for more info and how you can book Roy Turner for a speaking engagement you can click here)
Unexpectedly they gave me a full tour of the campus, treated me to a generous lunch , and even introduced me to a Summer session in progress and I spoke to the class unscheduled (and unprepared) briefly, as I will be back in London in the Fall to speak formally and conduct a few workshops there and other Universities all over Europe.
Now, back to the Rock N Roll, also at their invitation, Anthrax was playing on campus that evening. This was one of their first shows featuring their new singer and he totally sucked (UPDATE: APPARENTLY THEY THOUGHT SO TOO, AND HE HAS SINCE BEEN Fired

 

 

 

 

 I had a few hours to kill before the show started, and I had promised my new Irish friend that we would get together at some point and I was within walking distance of her place of employment. So I go over and pick her up, and she is a delight.  I always the class act, take her to a sweaty metal show at a college campus with cheap beer and even cheaper Chinese food afterwards. Ran into this guy who had the entire Faith No More King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime cover tattooed into an entire sleeve. Although not perhaps her first choice of musical fare, Irish girl is a total trooper, and was totally down and we had a great time.

Setlist –

Indians
Got the Time (Joe Jackson cover)
Madhouse
Antisocial (Trust cover)
Fight ‘Em ‘Til You Can’t
Caught in a Mosh
Safe Home
Room for One More
Only
What Doesn’t Die
I Am the Law
Whole Lotta Rosie (AC/DC cover)
Earth On Hell

After we ate she gave me a nice tour around Soho London before we called it a night. It takes forever to get anywhere in this town and the cabs are just too outrageous and the subway stops running at 11pm and only has routes in less than 10% of the city, so its another hour + bus ride back to Eric Clapton.

So tonight it was back to the rock n roll, as I made my way to Queen Elizabeth’s Hall to see a rare Mike Patton performance as part of the Meltdown Festival. On a night off from the Faith No More reunion (see above) the alway prolific Patton decided to spend his doing a one-off with Fred Frith. the show was really bizarre as expected; and a real treat. The were almost upstaged when they were joined by the U.K Beatboxing Champ, Shlomo After the show, I started chatting with some Italianl that had come over 2 hours by train just for this show (for the uniniatiated, Patton fans tend to be obsessive) and they were showing me the pics they took, that later they were kind enough to email to me (thanks Liu).

 

It was a great night and again I was facing the River Thames. I went inside to see the Patti Smith film Dream of Life, which was really interesting. I’ve never been an obsessive over her, and the film was as abstract and uncomfortable as she comes off sometimes. These old punks from waaaay back chatted me up after the movie and invited me to go have some tea across the bridge. After two glasses and a nice conversation discussing the film, at an outdoor cafe I headed to the bus stop. What I thought would be a routine ride back to the Clapton actually turned violent and could have been alot worse.
I tend to have more than my fair share of inherent male bullshit, where I think I’m exempt from most things. Pickpocketing and flat out mugging seem to be at the top of my male Darwinian mind. I had been warned about the violence in London, especially in the neighborhood where I was currently presiding. However in NYC I just put in my Ipod and let shuffle shield me from harm or direct eye contact. I was on the top level of a double-decker bus rocking the fuck out, when I looked to my right and saw a young vargrant mocking my enthusiasm. Innocently I took my earphones out and embarrasingly asked if he could hear it. Right then, a much older, much scarier vagrant pops up from the seat behind me. I realize I am on the only one up here besides my now potential assailants. He answers for the other by threateningly saying in thick cockney accent (right into my )ear ” If we could fooking hear it, I would tell you to turn it off because it sounds like doo doo” Its then I realize their’s a third stick-up kid who is now blocking my path to exit/safety. I stood up and right then, scary guy behind me grabs the cord to my earphones that thankfullly were under my shirt. I instictively pulled away, and just bamboozled the kid in my way by pushing him as hard as I could, as I ran down the stairs like a little bitch. If you know me, you know that I’m a skinny bitch, with a big mouth, who does dumb shit like this often as I prob should have just handed it over and saved the risk, but I just got the new Atmosphere album uploaded and wasn’t ready to part with it 🙂 I run toward the busdriver and cool it as the bus rolls to a stop. The Boondock Saints upstairs come running down and out the bus to catch me, not realizing I’m still on the bus as we roll away. They yell to stop the bus as I yell even louder not to and off we go. One problem, THAT WAS MY STOP. So I had to get off at the next one, double back and hope I didn’t run into them. Thankfully I didn’t and I and my Ipod lived to rock another day.

Thanks London, Ill be back soon.

Photos –

Roy Turner

Rocklahoma 2009

Our travails in search of a bygone era in the woods of Oklahoma.

Rocklahoma 2009 w/ Anthrax, Night Ranger, Warrant & more – July 9-10th -Fairgrounds – Pryor, OK

Dubbed Rocklahoma (think the Coachella of 80’s Hair Metal) its a gathering of the notion that these bands whom may inspire a small twinge of nostalgia individually, that collectively could get you to travel to the middle of nowhere outside Tulsa in stifling heat to party like its 1984.The idea of attending sounded fun, but what would happen once we got there? It sounded like taking a joke just a bit too far by actually going so that’s why I hadn’t attended in years past (other than the obvious) but I do like to rawk, and I do have a special place in my closet for that genre. The tipping point, was to call my friend Chaz. He fronts the Dallas area 80’s Hair Metal cover band Red Leather. Now for the uninitiated, you may be saying to yourself, “Well their’s one of those in every town” and I would normally agree with you, but let me assure you, that’s not the case here, these guys are so the shit and so much fun. So I call Chaz and of course their going, so its really all about who your company is right? So, I said fuck it and hopped into a van with my cover band rocker friends for three days in the sun. How bad could it be? Let’s go:

Day 1

Now, I’ve been to most of the American multi-day festivals including the ones that offer (or sometimes require) camping and this one you really got to camp, and I’ve never done so at one of these and would be hard pressed to conjure a memory of ever camping. You would think, that anyone patronizing the devil’s bargain such as this, would be unprepared slobs, “Only fluids the doctor said” and that we would be sleeping on Kiss posters, and living off of bongwater. Much to my surprise these guys, had their shit doooownn. I’m not kidding, we were the envy of every camper within an earshot, as these others were roughing it. We had a camper WITH AIR CONDITIONING, a generator, a sink, electricity, and all the food and beer we could consume. We had another outdoor tent (dubbed the patio) and we opened the back doors of the van to reveal a HUGE big screen. We had our own fucking outdoor movie theater!

We had to take a golf cart ride to the other side to get our credentials. I had the promoter extend his invitation to include Camp Red Leather, which now meant we all had total access to the field, the seats and the air conditioned dining hall as well as drink and meal tickets, Woohoo!

So off we go to the main stage where as you can see the competition to crown this year’s Miss Rocklahoma is fast and fierce.

And I notice something peculiar, I know its the first day and all but I had heard that this was a HUGE event and there was only a handful of people there. You can tell all 25 of them were really into it however:

 

Desperately needing to cool off I headed to the press tent to catch the Anthrax Press Conference. Not certain but I think that this was one of if not the first American show with their new singer Dan Nelson. Oddly just a month prior I hadn’t seen Anthrax in over 10 years and caught them twice in as many days while I was in London, so I was already well versed in how much the new guy blows. I don’t have anything original to say that you probably haven’t already read because the only thing that satisfies is that he is pound for pound a Phil Anselmo clone to the point of embarrassment.

Anthrax

Independent of that, still, on this day they were not the fun guys in Vision Street Wear shorts. They were clearly embarrassed to be there, and held the press and everyone around them in contempt. As much as I adored this band through the years I have always felt a since of arrogant prick-ness from Scott Ian and Charlie Benante and today there was no validation. This was putting their status as one of the “big four” in danger. Would the other three be caught dead at this thing? (hey Megadeth did open up for Motley Crue a few years back WITH Anthrax)
Well now I wanted to hear some music. I rejoined the guys and the first band we actually saw was Saxon who kicked ass:

Saxon

 

And then before we knew it, it was time for Anthrax’s headline set. They really could have made this a 3 day event as their were only like 4 bands per stage with an hour between sets, but the longer you stay the more you spend is the logic. I had just received a double-dose of Anthrax with their new singer last month while in London, now it was the States turn.

Anthrax

The shows in London really weren’t that bad, however the mood I described earlier from the press tent had clearly been carried to the stage. Out of the 40K that was expected with an average of 10K each day their was less than a thousand people paying any real attention. I’m not sure that was the main problem but I’m sure it was a contribution.
New singer Dan Nelson irritated the crowd with his constant demand for applause and angering band mascot Scott Ian when he fouled up a segue for a sing-a-long to wish bassist Frank Bello a Happy Birthday. They did play a few new songs, Fight ‘Em till you can’t and Earth on Hell that were pretty brutal.

Setlist:

(UPDATE: Just a few days after this performance the band announced they were parting ways with Dan Nelson. Another singer and another weird chapter in this band’s history.)

After they finished that was the end of music for Day One, but right after they were having an outdoor showing of Anvil:The Story of Anvil  on the big screens.. Seems to be a weird theme lately as Anvil and Anthrax keeping crossing my path (and each other’s) across two continents. Scott Ian is in the documentary, they played together at the Metal Hammer awards after the boat ride and the next night when I saw Anthrax at ULU, Robb and Lipps were standing behind me, and now they are playing together today as well. All these chances to see Anvil and still the only time I’ve actually seem them perform was in promotion for the documentary they were doing something unique (sad/cool…you decide) by actually performing in the theaters after the screenings.

 You would not have to be a fan of Anvil or even this type of music (although repeated screenings of Spinal Tap will surely enhance your experience) to enjoy this film.

So after the movie we headed back to Camp Red Leather. Excited to be there as this was our first night, Chaz and I decided to go introduce ourselves to our new neighbors, far and wide. We came across this “band” that had attracted a small crowd of about 20 in front of their tent that included one of the “contestants” from the above mentioned Pageant. It was surreal to be in the middle of this campground in nowhere Oklahoma, standing next to this “runner-up” that by local standards had amassed some type of celebrity, watching the equivalent of your little brother’s “band” struggling just to get through “Back in Black” in near pitch black darkness. I had to wonder why they would haul all that equipment that they could barley play. Always the cheerleader, Chaz was making my sides split with his constant encouragement of gems such as “Alice in Chains, let’s go!” and “Pantera, cmon!”. A good first day.

Day 2

Odd to wake up in the middle of this campground in nowhere Oklahoma. While our neighbors would complain of sunburn and the irritation of being awoken by heat, I was so cold from our air conditioner that the survivor in me sleepwalked and turned it off in the middle of the night. Much to the chagrin of my fellow campers, as they didn’t share my frigidity, and I felt bad that they had sought hard and long for the gas to power it, just for me to turn it off. As a testament to their coolness and our all around good vibe, it was laughed off just like anything else.
Time now for our ritual of getting wrist banded and getting our meal tickets etc. (umm take a hint from the other promoters and have wristbands that you can scan next year please) .
We opted out of Danger Danger to take advantage of having access to free food and drinks and get out of the heat for a bit. Imagine the lunch room in High School with all the stoners and goth and metal chicks 10-15 years later. When I returned Camp Red Leather were chatting up these two women from Bermuda. One even had the native British accent. They were so fun that we invited them to come check out the next band with us.

Warrant.

Of course we all know “Cherry Pie”  & they had a new singer who was fun and could sing his ass off, and were quite good.

Night Ranger.

You either have two (or both) distinctive associations with their hit “Sister Christian”, that’s forever associated with an odd fad of 80’s rock: Singing Drummers.. One is being a little kid watching the video in constant rotation on MTV and now marvel at how that level of sap once seemed “deep” to you, or the brilliant cataclysm the song scores from a climactic scene from Boogie Nights.

They blew us away and in hindsight were the best band I saw all weekend. Most of the bands, bless em’, were idealistic in their approach and their performances seemed about 25% over their actual abilities, and it had that stink. Night Ranger were the real deal man and yes, the drummer did dramatically come out and do the ballad. Brad Gillis looked like he’s been at the gym since the band’s heyday. Dude was ripped.

Now the anticipation was starting to mount for this evening’s headliners:

Ratt

Tonight Ratt is set to perform arguably their most popular album “Out of the Cellar”, which features their undisputed biggest hit “Round and Round”.
Now I have taken the trip down memory lane with this band a few times at several short lived reunion attempts and it suddenly occurred to me how long it had been since I heard anything off of that record that wasn’t a single, and I was loving it. I can remember in the 3rd grade getting this on cassette and playing it frontwards and backwards for months until I wore it out. Hearing songs like “In Your Direction”, “She Wants Money”, and “Your in Trouble”  was a gas, and became a bit of a guessing game to see if I could remember what came next on the album.

Setlist:

Now for the bad, lead singer Steven Pearcy will never be able to escape the very pompous and unlikeable image that he has, because its so freaking accurate. Some people (like me) think David Lee Roth is a god, others think he’s a buffoon. This guy straight across the board is such a turn off that even the diehards would have to admit that they wouldn’t loan this guy money. We were in the front row rawking regardless:

Enter Part II of our travails in search of a bygone era in the woods of Oklahoma.Rocklahoma 2009 w/ Jackyl, Kix, Faster Pussycat & more – July 11th – Fairgrounds – Pryor, OK

How this was allowed to take place in the middle of July with heat advisories in the upper tier is reflective of not only legislation in Oklahoma but it’s general common sense. And here we were here too, but cocooned in AC isolation.
No matter how spoiled we were we started to get cabin fever and decided to head out into the lonesome crowded west to see what was going on and see some bands. We decided on the mainstage to check out Keel. Now (again) the only thing I remember about this band was right before I discovered Master of Puppets they had a song called The Right To Rock that I would jam out to, only because it wouldn’t have occurred to me at that age how silly it was, and I was in that exploration phase where anything I hadn’t heard of, or even better if my friends hadn’t heard of it, then it had to be cool. Oh how I would do anything to be so innocent again, to believe that were was some actual opposing force trying to prevent me from rocking and how indebted I felt to these guys for informing me that it was my actual right. Who knew?
The band is fronted by Ron Keel who’s band carries his namesake. What we discovered was, in a sea of clearly out of touch and delusional people, the MOST diabolical turn-off I have ever witnessed since Sammy Hagar. Imagine if that 50ish rocker guy with the gross tan and exposed chest hair and gold chains, hitting on your mom at the State Fair, donned one of those awful headset mics (NO ONE HAS EVER MADE THE HEADSET MIC LOOK BADASS) and roamed the stage with an uncanny likeness to a Billy Ray Cyrus/Tony Robbins hybrid. Just powerfully lame, and totally clueless. The end mercifully came predictably with the hit of Right To Rock for which his daughter came out and sang with him.

Keel

Now it was time to head back to main stage, where we reunited with the Bermuda Triangle who were so much fun and such a blast to hang with, as well all grabbed a spot to see Kix. Their singer easily eclipsed me as the skinniest dude there, but as it looks good on a young dude like me, it looks meth-y on an old dude in leather chaps. The singer had us in stitches as his priceless between-song banter had the squeal of Paul Stanley met with the innuendo of AC/DC, and he ended every passage with “…meet me in the parking lot in 10 minutes…” now I don’t know if this dude wanted to fuck or fight or was just simply acknowledging his band’s lack of fame being responsible for them being able to secure proper lodging. But like the tenacious clothing company above, this guy knew his audience and want they wanted, so out come two rocker chicks:

Kix

Now as the sun was setting, so was my stomach as the Bermuda Triangle was getting me juiced up which was practically a prerequisite for the next band Jackyl. Although they were no strangers to this festival or playing to the lowest common denominator, sadly their a last minute (an albeit logical) choice to replace Thin Lizzy, who although Phil Lynott is no longer with us, I still really wanted to see.
I barely have the words to describe the maelstrom of white trash ornery that swathed a debauches trail through the crowd, me and for the most part, the entire weekend. I truly believe he even shocked himself and those around him that probably have to deal with him nightly on tour. It was at times, funny, embarrassing, cringe inducing, exhausting, but I have to hand it them, it was never boring. And also it was barely musical. I don’t remember if they actually played any songs, and that’s the whole deal, is that people will not historically remember the music of Jackyl, but the antics their singer Jessie James Dupress exhibited will not be soon forgotten.

Jackyl

As well as a new catch-phrase that I can’t wait to use. During one of Mr. Dupree’s many drunken tirades, a common theme was he wanted someone, anyone to venture into the nearby campgrounds to “fetch me a joint”  and in his description of the barren wasteland where I’d laid my head for the last two nights, he said “you know…out there by the Port-A-Shitters”.  I literally screamed. When he wasn’t making bizarre requests, he was slowly coming undressed from his red Lil Abner onesy in between taking the beer from the concession merchants that had drifted to close to the stage as the tub on their heads was at the perfect height for Mr. Dupree to strike.
Shuffling loose, a badge from the otherwise really uptight Sheriff that was on-site, he next set his target on the Officer’s gun, but that’s about as far as this humorless member of Pryor, OK’s finest was going to pardon. I think it says it all when at one point, Dupree was riding on a skateboard (?) while chugging a bottle of Crown Royal, while wielding a chainsaw in the other hand. His onslaught lasted over 2 hours (to which I learned later was him throwing a public tantrum for not getting to go on last and was basically trying to shit on Stryper.

Now who’s ready to go to Church??!! I think we all felt in need of saving after that.
I kinda always wanted to see Stryper but it was odd to experience it for the first time right after a white trash ho-down

Stryper

So when the bibles starting being thrown out it got a little hairy, as this dude in front of me was just looking for someone to connect with and was kinda freaking me out. After securing some corn dogs safely away from the surreal mixture of bible catchers and party pukers, we headed to the one of the tents as Stryper was the last band on the main stage for the day, and I wanted to check out Faster Pussycat.
Apparently so did everyone else, or they were just as bugged out by the freak show at the main stage, cause the entire festival was in this tent! They were pretty awesome, and the vibe was just right. Bathroom Wall caused the tent to almost implode. Totally rawking!

Faster Pussycat

So with the music done for the day we headed back to camp & passed a little General Store. Suddenly this DRUNKEN girl in her early 20’s starts walking toward us and the only thing she is barely wearing was the bottom to her bathing suit. She kinda looked like a heavier version of Ferris Bueller’s sister (aka Baby from Dirty Dancing…R.I.P. Patrick Swayze). At first glance she appeared alone and wayward, but I quickly gathered she had just lagged behind from her group that was about 40 yards ahead, clearly wanting to lose their extra load. When she reached them, she celebrated this by removing the rest of her bathing suit to reveal an ass so white and unshapely, we could have had an encore screening of the Anvil movie on it.

Later I ventured over the VIP Campground (hey I thought we were VIPS?) and they had an official setup where some contest winning band was still keeping it going and had a decent crowd. Can’t remember their name cause their just finishing up when I arrived. A girl from San Francisco walks past me & said she thought I was her boyfriend and she claimed similarities. She was dressed like a softer dominatrix (whatever that means) and was talking uncomfortably close to my mouth, when her boyfriend, who was sober and apparently knew to keep his eye on her comes over (P.S. we look NOTHING alike) and he’s trying to be friendly but he smells the score. I try to get out of there but she’s doing that thing where when you shake someone’s hand and they don’t let go thing. I finally broke free and headed back to camp, to lie down and take in all I had seen and heard this weekend and get ready for the drive back to Texas in the morning.

Epilogue:

So we get up the next day and bug out like a M.A.S.H. unit as efficiently as we came in. Never say these boys were not Boy Scouts. I was thoroughly impressed. As we were making our way out of town I was reminded of scene from Big Daddy where Adam Sandler realizes that he’s awake before McDonald’s has stopped serving breakfast, and must take advantage. So we make the requisite stop, and just like in the movie, with only a few mins to spare. So close in fact that all four of us are not guaranteed to place the proper order before the breakfast to lunch changeover. Chaz is first but opts for lunch as they were out of want he wanted for breakfast (get in back of the line Chaz, time is of the essence here) I’m second and like the naturalized New Yorker I’ve become, I championed my way to my breakfast of choice. Our other two traveling companions were not so lucky (i.e. chumps).  As Chaz and I are waiting for our orders to be filled we are seated pretty close to our increasingly exasperated order-taker Ashley (we were now on a first name basis and seems to be the case when traveling with Chaz). When suddenly Ashley’s manager delivered this gem: Apparently its the golden arches’ policy to have their workers randomly sanitize their hands while working. What sets this epidemic of handwashing aloft is that the manager will unexpectedly shout “Stop…sanitize”. Now this would normally not be of interest, yet however, in total synchrony Chaz and I, without discussing it, couldn’t help but notice how closely her delivery sounded alot like MC Hammer’s You Can’t Touch This. So without missing a beat, we both look at each other and declare to the entire restaurant to “STOP!…SANITIZE!” for which they recognize as said 80’s classic and respond with uproarious laughter! Chaz + Roy = Street Theater. In spite of it all I would have to say that I would totally make this trip again and plan to do so next year. Good times.

__________________________________________________________________________________________Photo Credits – 

Roy Turner