#MajorLazer

Fun Fun Fun Fest 2011 w/ Slayer, Public Enemy & More (Nov/2011)

Ok so after an incredibly busy last few months, I was now headed back down to Austin for the Fun Fun Fun Fest. These always look totally awesome and have such an insane and random lineup and yet I’d never been to one until now. The lineups always looked good but there was always something in the way etc. But with the promise of Public Enemy, Henry Rollins, Kool Keith, and Slayer all in one weekend, I was ready for action.

2011 Fun Fun Fun Fest – Nov 4th-6th – Auditorium Shores – Austin, TX

Erin has a house in Austin and actually claims Austin as home when asked and she’s always excited about going down there when we do, so the drive down was actually really fun. Her having a house down there makes it super easy and I was looking forward to a great weekend.

Nov 4th

I get in the guest line and get our wristbands and to my surprise the guy behind the desk hands me a shitload of free drink tickets. He’s wearing a Boston Red Sox hat and says that we met at a Never Got Caught/Clutch show a few years ago. Thanks man!

It was after 7pm before we even got there but the festival had started at noon – the only act I wanted to see that was left was Public Enemy.
Last month, I was at the All Tomorrow’s Parties event in Asbury Park where we saw PE put on one of the best shows of the year and threatened to steal the entire festival.
So needless to say I would have already been looking forward to the show but after what we saw just a few weeks ago, the anticipation was even higher.

They have the stages set up in pairs right next to each other, so that the minute one stage stops, the next one can begin immediately so its continuous non-stop music – one of the better ideas that the Warped Tour has brought to the table.

We were actually standing directly behind the two stages watching Four Tet do his thing –

 

 

We were actually pinned between this trailer that was the dressing room and the back of the stage when a few things of mention happened:

One –  was that though we really enjoyed PE in New Jersey, one thing was that the soundcheck was excruciating – It went on for almost as long as their set and was led by what I can only imagine is some relative of Chuck D’s that he needed to give a job to. This older, extremely over-bearing man with zero time-management skills who’s idea of getting the crowd ready was to scream “AAAAHIGHT??” – About one million times.
Well while we are watching Four Tet, sadly for him the soundboard was to his right while PE and annoying stage mgr were soundchecking to his left.
PE’s stage mgr was actually shouting orders to the soundman at the board thru Four Tet while he was performing on stage!
I couldn’t believe it – Four Tet, a super nice guy would occasionally (and incredulously) shoot a look over at PE’s stage mgr with a confused smile as if to say:  “Can you not see that I’m actually in the middle of my set right now dude?”.

Two – While we are watching this, again its a tight squeeze and only one person can pass between the back of the stage and the dressing room & see that Chuck D was squeezing his way through.

Three – So after Four Tet wraps and again so that the music can be seamless PE is about to start and we are now standing on the side of the stage a mere feet from where they will be performing, when suddenly the entire stage/backstage area is cleared as if the President is coming to watch PE (maybe he was? – I could see that) – Instead it wasn’t the President, it was actor Ryan Gosling and company. Sadly, their will be much more about him as this post progresses.

Public Enemy

Ok so now we are kinda half in the photo pit and half in the crowd and let met tell you something, Austin is passionate about their politics and they are equally passionate about their Hip-Hop and now here were the kings of the game ready to get down. Their was nearly a mini-riot before they even took the stage and when they hit all fucking hell broke loose.

I didn’t know if they were gonna stick to what they have been doing this year which is all of Fear of a Black Planet but the show certainly started out that way.
The effect was briefly transformational, Chuck brought the crowd back into the present by referencing and praising the nationwide “Occupy” movement. Flavor Flav followed that by thanking the crowd for making him the biggest reality television star ever. Thud.
In effect completely loosing all of the momentum that the first three jams had whipped everyone up in.
At one point he brought his teenage Godson up there who he commanded to freestyle rap on the spot – It appeared that Flav might have only met this kid once before and it was probably earlier today and to please his famous Godfather he might have mentioned that he “rapped”. The fear on this poor kid’s face that Flav was throwing his teenage ass to the wolves, was almost as cringe-inducing as the one “rap” the kid actually made which was:

“I came to the fest to have fun, because I’m Flavor Flav’s Godson”

The crowd moaned but clearly felt for this kid –

In spite of this and other Flav shenanigans, the set was not only genuine but it also extended the PE political mythos further into the group’s third decade.
Sending everyone home happy with the belief that the hit parade they’d just seen was part of something far more meaningful. Whether it was that or not was almost entirely immaterial. Friday’s headlining spot was built on the idea of Public Enemy as a relevant and provocative cultural constant, and if you went into the night holding that stock you certainly were not’t in selling mode at its close. In that view as well as most others, it was a success.

Setlist –

Contract On The World Love Jam
Welcome To The Terrordome
B Side Wins Again
911 Is A Joke
Meet The G That Killed Me
Show Em Watcha Got
Bring The Noise
Don’t Believe The Hype
Cold Lampin’ With Flavor
Can’t Truss It
Night Of The Living Baseheads
He Got Game/Anti-Negro Machine
Burn Hollywood Burn
Black Is Back
Timebomb
Shut Em Down
Rebel Without A Pause
Fight The Power

Epilogue – Now during this, the other main attraction (and perhaps for some the main reason for coming) was that Danzig was staging something of a career retrospective and even more importantly something of the closest you will get to a Misfits reunion by including a set of Misfits songs to be performed with famed Misfits’s guitarist Doyle Von Frankenstein.
I mention this because sadly this festival will be remembered mostly for Danzig’s complete and total meltdown (in a history of his meltdowns) and besides Ryan Gosling, this is all everybody talked about for the rest of the festival. Apparently he had made some really weird demands involving soup that even when they were met didn’t prevent the show from melting down and the Misfits portion never happening. Lots of soup jokes followed the rest of the weekend.

You can read festival organizer Graham account of the situation here –

Now let me say this – Even if PE weren’t playing I would have skipped this – As completely blasphemous as this will sound, I do not, nor have I ever cared even an ounce about anything to do with Glen Danzig, not even for a second. I have never owned a Misfits record, nor do I care to, I couldn’t even tell you the names of any of their songs if Metallica hadn’t covered several of them. That is how completely uncool and unpunk I am and what a total square I am, and I could give two shits who knows it.
However, I do know that the band holds great importance to many many people, and I’m sure it was more than one person’s decision to come based upon this appearance and to have Danzig shit all over it is really lame and unfair to them.

After-show –

Kool Keith – Empire Automotive

One of the cool things about this fest too is much like the ACL Fest the organizers take advantage that Austin is the live music capital of the world and host after shows all over the city. I love Kool Keith and was glad he was booked to do his own late-night weirdness in his own setting, instead of on a big stage in the middle of the day. And let me tell you something, this show couldn’t have been any weirder even for him.
Since we had only seen really one act we were still roaring to go, and even if I was tired I would have made the effort to see Kool Keith.
So much weirdness, where do I begin? First of all it was weird/typically Austin cool that he was playing in an auto body shop.
Secondly, when we got there which was around 10:30pm he wasn’t going on for like three hours haha.
I had wanted to see Trash Talk but they had just finished and when I asked the merch guy who was coming on before Keith, he turned into this caricature of a human spouting slang so cartoonish I thought I was being Punk’d.
So for three hours we sat in this body shop waiting for the weirdest (and arguably the most talented) MC of all time to come on. During which time we had beer spilled on us which seemed like a half a dozen times, but Erin and I were actually in good talks and good spirits.
Then finally Kool Keith took the stage –

 

 

Let me tell you something, I’ve seen him perform on every tour since the first Dr. Octagon LP and so I have seen some really brown shows of his, but this one takes the proverbial shit cake. I have seen him literally kill onstage before (Coachella 2004) and I’ve seen him start selling cdrs from his back pocket in the middle of the show (Dallas 2005) to many other examples (and we had also just seen him at the Ultramagnetic MCs reunion in Asbury Park) but this time he was downright scary, but no less entertaining and funny, until he wasn’t.
He had Kutmaster Kurt DJ’n and he came out as usual, but then it was a mess from there on out. Kurt would just play something, Keith would rap a known song over it, and then if he didn’t feel like finishing it, he would just abandon it, leaving Kurt to catch up. This has value as theirs probably not a rapper alive that can effortlessly freestyle like that and just move and shift at will. On the other hand its execution feels like the ramblings of an insane homeless man.
We enjoyed some of it, when he was doing stuff like Get off my elevator and alot of the Dr. Doom tracks – but what we were enjoying more was watching people’s reactions and then watching them leave.
Not just because of the late hour, by the time he got to the real dirty stuff like Sex Style and Girl let me touch you there people were dropping like flies.
It seemed to have no rhyme or reason or no end. We even saw the guys from Workaholics walk out shaking their heads, but we stayed till the end.

Nov 5th

Finally get parked and get inside to start the day and the first thing we see is a wrestling ring set up right in the middle of the field with a match in full swing taking place.

Anarchy Championship Wrestling

That was something else I was loving about this festival was it kind of had a carny sleaze to it – It wasn’t glossed up like Lollapalooza, and the randomness of having wrestling and other events really worked. Not to mention, I’m a huge fan of wrestling –

 

The action was sloppy of course but so much fun, and it was great that you knew that you were surrounded by people that were probably being exposed to wrestling in this capacity for the first (and some surely the last) time. While Erin was taking pics of the action suddenly this dude walks up to me who is dressed like Rayden from the fucking Mortal Kombat game and it standing oddly and very close to my face. Because of the wind and dust, the place was over run with dustdevils and for which the hipsters were remedying themselves with by wearing fashionable bandannas around their faces like they were about to hold up a bank in the Old West. Rayden was wearing this obscuring his face and his gay ass Rayden hat – when he pulls his bankrobber gear down and sporting a shit eating grin to my reaction of “Who the fuck are you pal?” look on my face to reveal that it was my old pal Justin – for which if you knew him this was par for the course.
Good times –
This was just the start of The Day of Running into Musicians from Dallas Day – This was followed by as were walking over to the backstage area, we were perusing the wares that were for sale in the local villagers market they had setup and I desperately needed a pair of sunglasses, when we ran into Mike Graff and Peter Schmidt, two accomplished musicians from Dallas.
Graff was the guitarist for the greatest band that you have never heard, Course of Empire – seriously one of the best bands ever – that had a major label deal and the label had no idea what to do with them and they faded into obscurity.
Schmidt was in Funland with drummer Will Johnson that went on to become Centro-Matic and Clark Vogeler is now the guitarist for the Toadies.
I practically worshiped Graff in high school and we have had a great rapport for 20 years so it was really good to see him and catch up.
Speaking of the Toadies, right after this we ran into my buddy Todd who sings and also plays guitar in that band and had a good laugh as always.
Later that night we ran into and had a great laugh with the always funny and interesting, Wayne Coyne.Ryan GoslingAs if I give two shits, I wouldn’t be accurately describing the experience of the festival if I didn’t mention the mania over Ryan Gosling. I mentioned earlier about how we was responsible for us having to leave the backstage area of the Public Enemy to make room for his royal douchyness. The way that we exchange information is so insane these days that by Day 2 of the festival their was a Tumbler account documenting his every move at the festival.The minute we got backstage the first thing we see is Gosling and company being followed by a film crew that we would later learn was Austin filmmaker Terrence Malick shooting some candid footage of Gosling for an upcoming project –

 Unbeknown to me at the time, but the girl next to him (looking like the constant filming is giving her a migraine) is Roony Mara – who went on to play Lisbeth Salander in the English adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – I just thought she was just some super babe worthy of Gosling’s status. I would actually meet her at this same spot four months later unexpectedly during SXSW – .

Ok movie stars and super babes aside, what caught my attention was out of the corner of my eye I spot true royalty. I was having a conversation with Franki Chan while Erin was in the bathroom when I spot Joe Lally.
I knew that our tardiness had all but caused us to miss his set, but I had to ask him anyway – so I approached and he confirmed that I had indeed missed it for which I started cursing the sky and we had a good laugh and a nice talk. Joe is one of the coolest ever.

Wugazi

Ok so when we ran into Joe Lally, I just assumed that he was on his way to see this thing called Wugazi, an apparent mash-up of Fugazi songs and the raps of the Wu-Tang Clan, who were actually billed higher than Joe Lally, a member of Fugazi himself. Not that I thought Joe would have any interest in this but I joked with him that it would probably make him look like a dickhead if he didn’t at least have a small peek and then I teased him about his curiosity.
He seemed to only have heard of it and knew that they were playing but convinced me he had really no idea that they were about to go on 15 feet away.
So we walk over there, where we stayed all of about 3 mins and Joe left before I did – the picture below should do the talking as to why –

 

 

This is something that could only exist today – two extremely white, trust fund looking douche bags, who are able to convince the blogosphere that their idea is “genius” without ever having to prove how solid their work is and suddenly the cool factor gets them billed higher than an actual member of Fugazi. Unacceptable – their work was not solid and the samples they used were weak and the whole thing looked really embarrassing.

Donald Glover

Another attraction of this increasingly weird festival is they also had a tent dedicated to name comedy acts. All I’ve been hearing this year is about Donald Glover as the heir to the throne. That throne being the lineage of Foxx, Cosby, Pryor, Murphy, Rock, Chapelle – and I’m a committed fan of all of these heavyweights so I was very curious and thought it would be fun so we went over to check it out. I knew that his guy also has a rap group that was gonna be performing later so I was a bit leery of him.

 

 

The assumption is that fans of one medium think the other is unwatchable, or the historical pattern is that the artist’s talent resides heavily in one camp and the other “experiment” is hard to watch for everyone. What sets Glover apart is the fact that he is still an unproven fresh face in many respects, and that seems to give him limitless ambition. It’s clear that he takes both sides of his career very seriously. Serious dedication to comedy gives him a reputation as a very silly individual, which eventually ends up as defensive lyrics in his songs about how “hard”’ he is as a rapper. It’s a fine and difficult line that Glover treads sometime skillfully, to varying degrees of success. Seeing him perform for 30 mins in a tent in the middle of the day doesn’t even remotely make me an expert, but I think its fair to say, to that though I appreciate his new school attitude and ways of doing things, his material just isn’t that solid and it feels like it will date it to be trend happening now and overall his comedy seems a little too hip for me.

Dan Deacon

Though I’ve seen Dan Deacon numerous times and somewhat enjoyed it, the only reason we were over here to see this was because:
a) Their wasn’t anything else going on at the moment that we cared about
b) This stage is closest to the backstage refreshments and couches.
c) The act that we did wanna see was going on after him.

I was talking about this the other day, and finally figured something out – Among the colorfully dressed hipster types and their ironic behavior and painfully white guys using hip-hop slang and unnecessary beards, the one thing they are trying to achieve the most is a “moment” – That “moment” can only come when someone gives them a reason for everyone to jump up and down in unison in what looks like a controlled riot – that is what they are after, and even if they band SUCKS, and trust me, most of them do – as long as they are having the “moment” that will make a great pic for the social networks of choice they are happy.
Be it at a Girl Talk show, or Matt and Kim – as long as their cinematically jumping, they are happy.

 

 

This is the only way to fully explain the popularity of someone like Dan Deacon – Here is a guy that is fat, bald, really ugly and dresses like he’s autistic – and doesn’t sing or even play an instrument as far as I can tell – just sets up some gadgets on a table with loops from a Casio keyboard and blasts them though a speaker and that’s the show. But it gives everyone a reason to jump and have the moment and the potential of chaos is enough to attract people to watch and incite it themselves.
To make it even sexier, Deacon apparently doesn’t like stages to make it even more “I’m on your level,” , unconventional and pushes the potential for mayhem even higher – so while we were actually standing on stage – Deacon was setting up his table right on the other side of the barricadeThe sound for his set was atrocious, and you could tell it was killing him. And by extension, it killed me. He had the chance to get the crowd going on a few occasions, but overall a complete waste of time, other than it gave us a chance to actually stand on stage and get a great view. I looked to my right and their was fucking Gosling, dude was everywhere.

Kool Keith (substituting for Rakim)

Ok so we got word an hour or so ago that unfortunately Rakim, one of the acts I was most looking forward to seeing, had broken his foot and wasn’t going to be performing today. That sucks for all involved but holy shit as a replacement since he was in town (see above) – its Kool Keith to the rescue!

 

 

I had even remotely recovered from the weirdness of show last night, and seeing him in the middle of the day was as bizarre as he is but we were ready for more (I think) – but I don’t think he was ready for much more than either a nap or more drugs. Same as last night, Kurt just basically solo’d on the turntables and Keith would just rap a few bars of whatever song came into his head. Being one of the most, if not the most prolific rapper of all time, these lines could come from any of the staggering 50+ albums he’s released over the past 20 years. We got a bit of East West Hustlers and Blue Flowers that we didn’t get last night, but the only fully cohesive song he did at both shows was the Ultramagnetic Mc’s staple Poppa Large.
Right after he performed we ran into my buddy Igor, who took most of the pictures on this blog entry. He’s obviously a photographer and was running from stage to stage, so we only hung for a sec, but since he doesn’t drink he did give me his drink tickets. Thanks buddy.

Childish Gambino

Ok so as mentioned earlier, we had seen Donald Glover’s comedy set and now it was time for his rap act. For a guy who, a year ago, was mostly known—if at all—as part of the ensemble of a low-rated sitcom Community, the crowd hyped to see Gambino was staggering.

There are a couple reasons for it. Donald Glover, is an Internet phenomenon, propelled by social media savvy and a non-stop work ethic that has him crossing into many different worlds online.

 

 

We were back in that same position we have been last night squeezed behind the stage and dressing rooms where we met Chuck D. All in all is was actually pretty good, I went into pretty skeptical and I didn’t leave thinking they were any more legit than I did before I saw them, but the musicianship of the band was solid and the execution of the whole show was actually quite decent and enjoyable.

Lykke Li

Making the most of the day since we really only saw once act and taking advantage of our Access passes, we then ran through the backstage thoroughfare up to the side of the stage to see Lykke Li who I am a huge fan of.
More than anyone else we saw over the weekend, her use of visuals (monochrome outfits, thick smoke, billowing curtains and percussion as theater) to enhance her performance really showed forethought and planning—

 

 

Li also transformed Dance Dance Dance from debut album Youth Novels into an awesome drumstick battle with a bandmate, which the crowd ate up. It was a rare moment that one noticed the band, who generally stood back and stayed far out of Ms. Li’s spotlight. As the show pulled into the closing with hit Little Bit,it was obvious some numbers had been cut due to the late start—most notably Love Out Of Lust, which was sorely missed.
Li has such a distinct mix of beauty, showmanship and style. I’ve seen her a half a dozen times before and though you may not be able to tell from the above picture how much she tries to downplay her beauty, always wearing these long shapeless over-size robes, but seriously is their any real chance of hiding of freaking ridiculously hot she is? – One of my fave shows of the whole weekend.

The Damned

If only Danzig had stuck around to take notes while British Punk band The Damned showed them how to command a stage and address their audience. Frontman Dave Vanian was dressed to impress with slicked hair, shades, and leather gloves to go with his polished duds. The band sounded amazing, and even the young ones in the crowd were pulled in for the set. The music was great, and the commentary was too, with Dave and Captain Sensible poking ruthless fun at Danzig and his soup.

 

To drive home the “how uncool I am” narrative from before, I can’t think of this band without thinking about this: Summer of 1998 I had my first love – she was (and I’m sure probably still is) miles ahead of me in everything. She was a punk rawker into all the perverse cool shit, while my soundtrack that summer consisted of a steady diet of shit no one will ever think is cool like King’s X, 311, and Prince during his depressed phase. She was super into the Damned and the fact that they were true English punks and not mainstream in America like the Sex Pistols made it all the sexier.
We made a pilgrimage to legendary indie-record store Bill’s in Dallas where he charged her an exuberant amount of money for this one record, that some fat friend of hers stole that she wanted to replace. On the way home we also realized amid her excitement for getting the record that he never gave her back her change, in effectively doubling the price of the record! – We joked that we should have taken advantage of Bill’s homosexuality and had me purchase the record instead. I of course had never even heard of this band before that day which later soon contributed to her exit. I used to joke when people would ask me why we broke up I would reply “cause I have bad taste, and I don’t know anything about Crass” ( that and course my bad hygiene,which is a contradiction in terms if you think about it) – But hey, I didn’t know anything about her other favorite band, Ween, either and look how THAT turned out – Hang in there kids.

Major Lazer

….and then we walk just a few yards over from something tried and true to something new and fun, but really, really stupid. That’s the beauty of a festival like this. The ridiculousness was all in place, even amplified – more dancers, more songs, the Major Lazer in question still sports a bleached Mohawk and yells ridiculous catch phrases. “IS ANYONE DRUNK TONIGHT? WE’RE GONNA GET YOU DRUNK TONIGHT!”

 

 

 

 

I almost feel silly for criticizing it; Major Lazer has always been an entity that requires a specific state of mind and a specific place. I saw them at Coachella a few years ago and it was one of the most ridiculous and fun things of the whole weekend. I was clearly not in either, and as it wore on it became more annoying than entertaining because at that point I think I had reached musical saturation, and that’s the whole point right?.

…and you would think I would have – as this point of the night we had seen 7 bands, two wrestling matches, several movie stars, a comedian and enough dust covered hipsters to last a lifetime. But when you get locked in the tendency is to take it as far as you can, at least that always tends to be my tendency – see what I did there?

Aftershow –

Mates of State – The Parish

Ok, I always do this, and its so stupid – I convince myself that I have to do certain things, or therefore I’m lame and old, or just lame whatever. I get these stupid ideas in my head and make decisions because of them, no matter their practicality. This would be a perfect example.
Given all that I had been through in the past 24 hrs – drove from Dallas, saw Public Enemy and then a Kool Keith after-show, and all that we had seen and done today, it would be more than fair to just go home and go to bed.
But oh no, their was an after-show and so I kept pushing. One logical said that could be said is that it seems that when we are out doing stuff, her insanity begins to decrease, but left to the idle playground of the goddamn devil than all hell breaks loose, so I wanted to stay out as long as we could.
The other side of that is that, I don’t care one bit about Mates of State. I’ve never owned one record, couldn’t’ tell you one song and the few times I have seen them they were painfully average and boring.

 

 

So why was I here?, so fatigued I could barely stand – but soldiering on just so I could get to the finish line so that I could be satisfied that there wasn’t anything left to do that we hadn’t done. It’s a real character flaw of mine. We finally leave there when they finish and mercifully get home around 2am.Henry Rollins officiates wedding

Though I’m from the Dallas/Fort Worth and I don’t know them at all – I had heard that Henry Rollins was gonna be hosting the nuptials of Dallas-area residents and fest attendees Steven Hart and Page King prior to his show later tonight. This I had to see.

During the brisk and mildly absurd but ultimately touching ceremony, Rollins addressed the couple on the importance of the day before they exchanged their vows.

“Right now the two of you are surrounded and vastly outnumbered by people who want nothing more than your great happiness, and it’s safe to say many of them want for your happiness more than their own,” Rollins said. “With 7 billion people in the world and more than 200 million people in America the chances of you two intersecting are frankly against you. The fact that you found each other borders on being a miracle.”

A brief exchange of vows, ring exchange and first kiss was followed by a serenade by Internet sensation the Sexy Sax Man, who earned plenty of laughs and cheers from the crowd that was still applauding the new couple. This festival is freaking awesome.

Del the Funky Homosapien

Being the life-long student of Hip-Hop that I am and a long time fan of Del, I’ve never seen one of his solo shows. Proud to say that I have seen the Hieroglyphics as well as Deltron 30/30 but never just him doing his solo stuff. So I was very excited to check it out.

 

 

Two things that made this quite a bit of a disappointment for me was, one – again I LOVE hip-hop, and yes I tend to gravitate almost exclusively to the more intellectual based, worldly consciousness stylings of groups like the aforementioned Public Enemy and what is known as “underground hip-hop” which is silly, like Blackalicious, Juraasic 5, Busdriver, etc.
However the one thing that embarrasses me about the whole thing is their is an air of elitism that has nothing to do with me and socially it really gets on my nerves. Its so typical and boring that most of these groups play to nerdy, mostly white male (like me) audiences. But where I differ is I hate when they get on that “This is REAL hip-hop, this is the real shit” – and think they are better or somehow evolved than Lil Wayne or Drake. I personally can’t stand the music of Lil Wayne or Drake but its not because my tastes are so sophisticated because I’m so enlightened to what Hip-Hop really is.
I’m a white dude from Texas – how would this ever qualify me to the authentication of an originally all-black and completely original art form started in the South Bronx before I was born?
I just like what I like and leave the bullshit to the bullshitters, so that’s why it was disappointing when Del went off on some elitist non-sense for most of the time he was on stage.
The other was, I don’t know what she had taken or how much of it but whatever it was it had completely taken hold as every few verses I would look over at her and she was struggling to stand with her mouth wide open, eyes in the back of her head and completely unable to hold it together.
Even when I tried to hold her up she kept falling to the ground and gesticulating in ways that were beyond her control. It was terrifying, embarrassing, and I had no idea what to do about it. People were moving out her way like the casualty she was, while others were looking at me incredulously like “What the fuck is wrong with her?”.
I should have just gotten us out of there right then, but I was so disgusted with her and all that she had put me through and now the thing I had been waiting for all weekend, the 1-2-3 punch of Rollins/Posehn/Slayer were all up next and I perhaps selfishly, I wasn’t gonna let her bullshit blow it for me.I got her some water and we sat down for a bit. Thankfully she loves Henry Rollins and so I was hoping that this was gonna hold and keep her attention but having to stand and listen to someone talk for an hour is an undertaking in any condition.

Henry Rollins

We get over there and it felt like forever while we were standing there. People around us knew she was in bad shape and it was embarrassing and I had this fear that Rollins was gonna come out right as she finally nose-dived and then he would know it too and there would be a big scene.
We were right up front, (she is very short) and of course right when he starts, what looked like the local basketball team shows up and decided to stand right in front of us. I was aggressive with them and I didn’t care. Finally Rollins takes the stage and things are looking up.

 

 

 

 

Here are some of the topics he broached: travelings, North Korea, Blue Velvet, scaring the bejesus out of Dennis Hopper, John McCain, drugs, politics, life, longing, and “Life is short. You’ve got to get as many of these stories as you can under your cap.” In his parting words to the audience, where he enthused the importance of the contributions from each generation, he also imagined a world of “24-7 p-funk, Ramones block party.”
Freaking awesome as always.

Brian Posehn

Though we only caught the last half of Posehn’s 30 minute set – it was funny as hell and I was certainly in the need of a good laugh. Feeling inspired as always after seeing Rollins, it was great to laugh, if only for a sec before Slayer. I was also enjoying that, if you don’t know already that comedian Brain Posehn is a HUGE metal fan and one of its biggest ambassadors outside of the Metal community. He was a regular on the Sarah Silverman show and other Comedy Central programming. So this had to have been a freaking DREAM for him – instead of doing his bit in small two-drink minimum comedy club in some Midwestern city, here he was performing like a rock star on the biggest stage of huge festival in front of 10k people, in effect opening for Slayer. How fucking cool is that?

 

 

He talked a bit about that and did this great bit about ICP fans and a few other jokes I had heard him tell. And then he finished with a quip about masturbation and gave the horns and said “Now let’s get ready for Slayer!!”
Sounds good –

Slayer

There was a genuine roar from the crowd as the band—obscured on stage for the very beginning of the set by a huge white sheet upon which they projected pentagrams—launched into the brutal opening riff of the title track from 2009’s World Painted Blood. It’s okay, guys. Slayer is here.

 

 

The band’s set proceeded to dish out absolutely, non-stop, pummeling metal, because that is what Slayer is and does. If you wanted anthems of destruction and odes to Satan, then Slayer is your band.
Slayer is a singular, iconic artist. It’s more appealing now than ever, to more people than ever, to hear a band that just does what they do without any of those other concerns.
Slayer does not care how y’all are doing’ out there tonight, Austin. (Singer Tom Araya did make a “Are you having Fun Fun Fun yet” joke early on)

To drive home where I was mentally, you would think I would have OD’d on Slayer by now. This was my third show this year and my fifth in 13 months and have seen at least another dozen shows or more over the years, but I needed this. Being objective about the actual performance would be impossible for this night, normally I stand in the back and rawk a bit but overall I’m an analyzer, I don’t go for that “This is where you let your aggressions out” bullshit – but I needed an outlet for my frustrations so desperately, and holy shit is their a better therapist than a fucking Slayer show?
Yes there where other bands there that I knew and liked, but I needed something that I knew every word to – and let me tell you something, I rawked harder than I ever have in my life, and perhaps more than anyone there. You know that guy that you kinda fear because he’s so into it? That was me – I even almost jumped into the pit –
Saw this in the bathroom backstage –

 

 

We finally get out of there and instead of heading the Beauty Bar for Diplo‘s after-show party, I had to get her home and I was so beat I was ready myself.

Coachella 2010 (April/2010)

Coachella Valley Arts & Music Festival – April 17th-18th – Empire Polo Fields – Indio, CA

Day 1  

So Sam and I got up and got it together to take the long drive out to Indio and the Coachella Valley for the festival. With no traffic it would still be just under two hours, but with LA traffic and that of the hordes going to the festival, I knew it was gonna be a haul. I was super excited as besides the one-two punch of Prince and Portishead of 2007, in my opinion, today was going to be the single best day lineup in the festival’s history as far as my tastes are concerned, with Faith No More, the Dead Weather and Devo to look forward to. Usually you have to pick and choose as alot of your faves will be on at the same time, but these three had lined up perfectly for me. Pulling in I had no regrets about missing the first day yesterday, and I soon learned just what a good idea that was.
This was my 7th year at this festival, so I know my way around it very well, and I know it grows every year, but when we pulled up, something was truly amiss.
We didn’t even get there till almost 7pm and there were more people outside the festival, than I had seen inside the previous years. We started hearing stories about total chaos, the night before and people already calling it Clusterfuckchella. Apparently, they were way understaffed this year, and the ticket scanners were not working, so shades of Woodstock, for a brief time last night, the festival was free to get into. I think those outside got wind of this, and those without tickets thought it would happen again tonight. Parking was a logistical nightmare, and that was just the beginning of our problems. Once we were on foot headed to the grounds, to go to, like I always have, the Will Call window, to claim our credentials, the trouble really started. Nobody knew anything. The Will Call tent was not where it had been in previous years and not one staff member could tell me a thing. I finally find this makeshift building by the parking lots and they spill some bad news. This year, and no one had told me, they came up with the brilliant idea to have Will Call off-site, as in not in walking distance, at a hotel over 5 miles away.
Faith No More, our whole reason for taking this on, were going on in an hour – what the fuck do we do? – I tried to stay cool, because fuck just being some jerk off fan trying to see a band, this was a major inconvenience, regardless of the capacity. So we walked over a mile to the nearest cab stand and had him take us over to this hotel. Since it was late in the day and on the second day, things when we got there were in total disarray.
Of course they couldn’t find our wristbands, and it wasn’t without trying, as I can’t complain about so nice they were to us, and apologizing and getting us stuff to drink while we waited. You are gonna think by reading this that I’m a total celeb-whore, but I’m just trying to tell the story and make it fun, so while we were standing there feeling like losers, Sam looks at me and says “hey check it out, American Pie girl” – and to our left was Shannon Elizabeth, apparently in the same predicament we were in:

 I honestly wouldn’t have recognized her if Sam hadn’t pointed her out to me. One of the skinniest people I have ever seen. So that was fun, and then we waited, and waited, and keep in mind the cab driver is still waiting to take us back. Our spirits started to diminish as Faith No More’s start time came and went, as we knew even if we had left that second it would take us most of their set to get back and get settled. So literally after waiting for over an hour, they found our wristbands, gave us a premium parking pass and apologized profusely. NOW we were golden,but how much was this cab gonna cost? In NYC it would have been over 200 bucks easily and I was prepared for the worst, when we find out that this gentlemen was so kind to us that he turned the meter off when we got there and the fare was under 40 bucks! Sam tipped the man very well and he dropped us off behind the main stage and we used our All Access passes to catch the end of their set.
We only got to hear about 4 songs, and I felt most sad for Sam as I had just seen them and knew I’d be seeing them again this Summer, but Sam had never seen them.
Still a great fucking show – they killed, and oddly alot of people had no idea who they were.
Here’s the setlist -Reunited (Peaches and Herb cover)
From Out of Nowhere
Caffeine
We Care Alot
Last Cup of Sorrow
Ben (Michael Jackson cover)
Surprise your Dead
The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
Midlife Crisis (- this is where we came in at)
Epic
Ashes to Ashes
Just a ManSo, yes, quite disappointed, but totally fucking relieved to be inside the festival and the place was our oyster with our access passes. So we said fuck it, hopped on one of the golf carts and headed to a side stage to see Major Lazer. If you are unfamiliar, its Diplo‘s new project with a crazy reggae singer/dancer with his troupe of backup singers in booties shorts. As far as a visual it did not disappoint, and the tent they played was freaking packed.
It was nuts, with these giant Chinese New Year dragons, and the dancers were flying through the air. At point, she even climbed up this ladder and jumped into a freaking kiddie pool onstage. One of the more what the fuck moments of the festival (but their would be more).
So after that settled down, Sam and I were lamenting the events of the day and having a good time, and we are standing side-stage waiting for Les Claypool to come on. Sam works in film and knows that I am huge fan of the Police, and was telling me about his experiences working on a recent documentary on Andy Summers, when as if we had somehow summoned him, a tall figure with easy to identify, full head of gray hair walks right by us, and Sam and I look at each other like “Damn that looked like Stewart Copeland right there ironically!” – So again, I guess I was in fanboy mode on this trip as I would normally never commit what I was about to do. Having no real confidence that it was actually him, I just strolled over to where he was sitting and lo and behold, there he was. One of my biggest idols and the reason I started playing drums and was ever in a band, Stewart Fucking Copeland. As big of a dork as I could have been, I was actually alright. It felt good to be excited again and even a bit nervous. Doing what I do, you can get used to this stuff and I don’t want that. I always want to retain that feeling of excitement or otherwise I’ll just do something else. So I made some bullshit small talk, and when that ended I broke my cardinal rule and asked for a photograph and he obliged. He was sitting there with his young daughters, can you believe that I was wearing that offensive Les Savy Fav shirt?
I had forgotten for a second that he was in a band, Oysterhead, briefly was Les Claypool, to explain his attendance. The plan was to watch 30 mins of Les Claypool and his new project, the Fancy Band before heading over to the other stage to see the Dead Weather.
Les was cool, I hadn’t seen him in awhile, and his new band was as weird as you would expect. I didn’t recognize any of the songs, but what I heard was good.
Now it was time to hop back on one of the golf carts and get over to the Outdoor Theater for the Dead Weather.  To know me, is to know of my adoration for all things Jack White. I had seen this band several times already, but I was excited to see what they would do here, as most bands make this appearance unique.
The driver dropped us off behind the stage, and that was cool as I can’t complain that I’m 3 feet from Jack White’s drum set, but that’s all I could see. We try to squeeze in on this tiny ledge to the side of the stage and that’s when I learn that these bands were pulling that shit I experienced at Lollapalooza last year, where the band’s have their own stage passes, making anyone else’s worthless as far as watching side-stage. I thought that kinda shit would be below someone like Jack White, but you never know if he was even aware of it. While we were squeezing in, I saw another familiar face/drummer as I looked over and Tommy Lee was next to me, talking to Perry Farrell and his wife, and some chick with the grossest and clearly botched boob-job I’ve ever seen without the presence of mind to not be proud of them and not show them off. I don’t know if she was him or not but check this out:
Isn’t that dark? – I spoke to him briefly and I hadn’t realized that he had performed the night before as the drummer for deadmau5, until he told me.
So the show starts and I decide I wanna go out front so I can see the show proper. It was the perfect time of the night, when everyone is in full swing and the vibe is there and the Dead Weather came out and just killed. Oddly, the wind and the palm trees proved to be a perfect setting for the band and did nothing to offset their gloominess and only gave it a better place to flourish. Think about all that we had seen already and what the crowd had witnessed over the past two days, and it was understood that this was the real deal. Playing most of their debut, Whorehound and a few off their new record, their set was flawless.
During their set and while I was talking to Tommy Lee, Sam went to find his friend Nicole, who had come out from Texas for the festival, and I met back up with them towards the end of the Dead Weather. We snuck her backstage and hopped on a golf cart to go, and finally see – Devo.
I have waited a long time for this. I’ve seen tons of shows and so its not often that I get to see a band that I love for the first time, and for whatever reason, Devo had eluded me for too long. So this was my time – again, we can’t complain but we had that standing behind the stage issue again, but still happy to be there at all.
I had waited a long time for this, and it was freaking awesome! Their about as smart and as funny as you would expect. Updating their look did everything to re-establish this:

 and only made it that more awesome when they came out for the encore in their old outfits. A couple of funny things happened in between. When they were on, there was a small child asleep right by my feet (we were standing behind the drumkit) and when they came back to change into the old outfits, the guitarists was checking on the kid. When they returned after the encore, the kid was gone, and he looks at me as says “Have you seen my son?” – half joking/half serious. I told him I think his mom rescued him from the noise.

The other thing was, its become common knowledge that for whatever reason, actor Danny Devito is a fan of this type of music, namely he’s been seen at any project Mike Patton is involved in, even appearing in a Peeping Tom video, so spotting him at Coachella, is like spotting David Byrne on his bicycle if you live in NYC, its just bound to happen, and its no less a little entertaining each time. This time in particular, as he and Patton and FNM’s Tour Manager, Tim Sweetwood, were watching and grooving behind the stage next to us.
I would have liked to have seen a bit of Die Antwoord, as I just recently been turned on to them, and I saw them backstage and they looked like total freaks, but that was the only scheduling problem I had. Let’s hope tomorrow goes as smoothly. As we were leaving, Nicole takes a pic of Sam and I, and I know we were tired, but this might be the worst pic of me yet:

   We still had to get back to our original parking spot and we knew it would be hours before we could even move. We sat and and laughed for about an hour until I had remembered from being there so many times, and easier way out. We were gonna stay with some friends nearby, so that we wouldn’t have the long drive back, just to drive right back here a few hours later, but we lost touch with them. I think Sam was eager to get back too, so I hit the back way, and about two hours later we were back in Los Angeles around 4am.

Day 2

  So Sam decided not to go today as he had a bunch of stuff to do before starting the work week. He called his friend Nicole and offered her the wristband I gave him, and I was to meet her at the festival. Thank goodness, I already had my wristband, parking pass, knew the score, and all I had to do was just get back out there. Sadly, again their really weren’t any bands playing that would have really warranted this effort in my opinion, other than maybe Sly Stone, but with his reputation, I wasn’t even sure if he would show, but after all I had been through yesterday, I was going to go and enjoy the day and the pampering of the credentials. I get there and I’m parked and inside by 4pm, easy breezy. I would have liked to have seen a bit of Mayer Hawthorne after getting turned on to them at SXSW last month, but I just missed them, but I was in time to see De La Soul.
Freaking 23 years into a career that’s outlasted everybody, they rawked the main stage, showing that they’re not only showing no signs of slowing down, but that they’re in peak form. A perfect time slot for their sunny, throw-your-hands-in-the-air- vibe, MCs Kelvin (“Plug One”) Mercer and David Jude (“Plug Two”) Jolicoeur effectively played half the crowd (“Say hip-hop!”) against the other (“Say par-ty!”), dropped their hits (“Me, Myself and I”), covered Run-D.M.C., and proved an inspired choice for a Sunday Coachella afternoon.

  After they were done, I walked over to one of the side tents to see this fun couple (who actually live around the corner from me in Brooklyn) Matt &Kim, who always put on a fun show. Their music is silly and almost circus like, not anything I would ever listen to at home, but live they are always a blast. They had a huge crowd, mostly of the younger, hipster variety, but a good time was had by all:

   This is where I was to meet Nicole as well, as she had text me to let me know she had arrived right after they were done. We meet and I give her the wristband so you can come backstage, and I was starving and thankfully, the catering tent for Artists was not on the other side, but right behind the stage we were already at. A nice spread by anyone’s standards – amid hardly anyone was in there, so it was a blessing to be in the shade and comfort of a private tent having a great meal and with all the beverages we could consume. I knew this would probably be the only meal of the day so I stocked up.
Thankfully, the next three acts I wanted to see were all at that same side tent right across from the catering tent. Flagging down a backstage shuttle got to be a bit taxing the night before and I was happy to not have to do it as often. Still the big question still lingered: Would Sly Stone show up at all, and if he does, what condition will he be in? –
After eating we walked over and caught a bit of Charlotte Gainsbourg – I got her record this year, and in spite of her famous father and all the privileges she’s been given, I think she is quite talented, and to-die-for gorgeous:
I enjoyed her set way more than I thought I would. I bet it would be better in a dark night club at like 1am however. Now clearly the producers of the festival had the same amount of confidence as I did sadly about Sly Stone’s arrival – Based on his contributions, he could easily headline the mainstage, but based on his reputation, for a cracked-out no-show, they put him in a side-tent at 7pm, scheduled right after Gainsbourg. So we waited…and waited…until an announcement was made that he wouldn’t go on before anyone and would be going on after Little Boots. Here we go, I thought – so we had some time to kill, so we headed over to the backstage compound behind the mainstage. It is literally paradise back there, with sculpted grounds, a man-made lake and a swimming hole and a nature walk. Just the thing to literally get away from it all. How spoiled are these fuckers? but that’s why playing here has the prestige that it does. I show Nicole around a bit, and they were consistently out of beer. I made a joke openly about it and after everyone laughed this guy kept bugging me to take my picture. I didn’t mind so I have no idea why I look so pissed here:
     We waited…and waited…and waited. Until now another announcement was made that “Sly didn’t like this stage and insisted on playing in the tent adjacent to this one” – whatever, this is getting browner by the minute. I waited another 45mins and during that time was when we lost her friend, and then briefly I lost her. When she returned we went over to the stage where Sly Stone had supposedly switched to and their was no sign of him. We still had an hour before Gorillaz were going on, and I did want to see Plastikman, and we were at the stage where he was about to begin.
These DJ’s have really upped their game to make it a visual experience and really give people something to look at:

 Which is important because unless the DJ is someone like Rob Swift, or a turntablist doing tricks, their really isn’t much to look at. This one was exceptional, as in like pioneering so. The giant cage opens and with the visuals it starts to look like its transforming into a monster’s mouth – opening and closing. I was cold sober and it was freaking me out, Nicole’s troublesome friend, had taken god-knows-what earlier and was clearly overwhelmed.
We left the set just a bit early so we could get a beer and get in position for Gorillaz. As you may know they have this rule that you can’t drink outside the designated areas in the general population. I could have just gone backstage, but I actually hadn’t walked the grounds yet and it was the last band on the last day and I felt like I was being snobby and missing the atmosphere. We grabbed drinks as they started and we were in the beer garden next to the stage, so we just said fuck it and stayed there as that was probably the best view we were gonna get. To be honest, though I find the Gorillaz to be interesting, I really couldn’t have cared less. Our obstructed view kinda cost us the visual element that is so important to their performances, but we had a good time and it was a good show. I only know the singles, and I know that one features De La Soul, so I had a good mind to think that we would get something special and hear that song performed live and with De La. And that’s exactly what happened:

…and that was just the beginning – of course this festival is famous and carries the prestige that it does because bands will make their appearances here legendary (unless your the Cure) and though I had previously underestimated this show, this proved to be one of the most epic in the festival’s history.  I learned that their set was marked by a lot of firsts. It was their first live performance in five years, the first time they had the Clash’s Mick Jones and Paul Simonon (in sailor suits, too) on stage with them and the first time they didn’t perform backlit behind a giant screen. Then out-came freaking Bobby Womack!

Little Dragon’s Swedish-Japanese vocalist Yukimi Nagano crept up onstage during Empire Ants also marking her first live performance with the band. I even saw Flea, who performed with Thom Yorke an hour prior, rocking out in front of us. Just an awesome, unbelievable show. I always thought Damon Albarn was overrated, now I’m not so sure 🙂
After they played I started hearing stories about what actually happened with Sly Stone – and this story got national attention so you may have heard about it, but in case you didn’t – what I am about to unfold is seriously the brownest shit I’ve ever heard. Keep in mind, I didn’t see any of it (their was a Twitter update saying Sly Stone – Mojave Tent 10:45pm – but I was getting zero service out there) as per the story I had given up on Stone, but I saw the Youtube video so it can’t be disputed. Like you knew that if he showed at all, it could have been dark, but no one could have predicted just how much this person has no business walking around unassisted in regular society, let alone performing on one of the biggest stages in the world. I blame his handlers for being greedy to push him out there, and it was sad and downright disturbing to see the video and hear what had gone down. Between the video and stories I heard here is what happened:” He came out in a blonde-and-black streaked wig and a navy cop’s outfit (complete with badge) and black sequined smoking jacket.
He then launched into a diatribe about a lawsuit against his former manager, Jerry Goldstein, saying, “I didn’t know I was being stolen from,” as well as something about now being able to buy his own shoes. Then he sat down on the edge of the stage and sang a preview of a new song – which ended when he rolled back and laid down on the stage.
Things started looking up when he got through most of “Dance to the Music.” Then his keyboard when awry. The band immediately kicked into “I Want to Take You Higher.” Then he walked to the front of the stage and fell on his face into the photo pit and was carried out after less than 30 mins.”
And that was that – another Coachella down, this one seemed to go by super fast. I said goodbye to Nicole and her intoxicated friend and headed for the car and back to Los Angeles. Maybe I’ll make it number 8 next year 🙂
Photographers:

Roy Turner