#NYC

Queens of the Stone Age Rock NYC + Helmet & More (March/2011)

Ok so after only being able to go to Fort Worth and see my family and recover from SXSW and all its insanity for about four days, I head back to NYC. Of course I had forgotten about the cold while in Texas, but I got an intense reminder the second that I landed that it was still Winter here. But shit got off to a right start and I ended up finishing out the month with some great experiences. Here are a few:

Queens of the Stone Age – Terminal 5 – March 25th – New York, NY

I had been back all of five minutes before I find myself heading to midtown to catch up with the Queens guys for soundcheck. No catch up was needed as I had just spent time with them a week prior in Texas during SXSW (see last few entries). After soundcheck I’m just hanging around talking with Josh and few of the other guys who are listening to stories from this guy and totally entranced. I don’t recognize him right away, but quickly learn its Mike Gordon from Phish, who was playing later across the street. I immediately text Erin back in Texas, as she’s a huge Phish fanatic.

The opening act was named the Dough Rollers. None of the members were fat, but they wherein’t talented either. A website had advertised that the Dough Rollers were a band consisting of a female vocalist/violinist, a mandolin player and a guitar player. They wherein’t. All they were, was a traditional four-piece, two guitar band.

After a brief intermission the show starts, and obviously its going to be similar to last week’s as the whole point of this tour (first in three years) is to perform the entire self-titled record, and the show began just as it did in Austin last week.

Homme was both cordial and antagonistic to his audience. Berating those throwing him the finger by saying:

“Oh sure, you do that while you are in the audience, but if you were up here you would be doing this” and begins to pantomime fellatio. “Some people say that because you see everything that you’re spoiled,” – “I think you understand things that other towns don’t understand. You understand that you can’t try to be cool, that’s impossible. Cool is, you like something and that’s it.”

Cool class came with a caveat: “But what do I know, I have a mullet,” he said. “I’m from the desert, I dunno jack shit.”

After the show I didn’t stick around to do the after-show thing, they were leaving that night, and I had been there all day hanging with them after a long flight and I was determined to get over to Irving Plaza to catch what I could of Helmet, who I had missed most of last week in Austin and was hoping to make up for that. Sadly, Irving Plaza was 40 blocks away.

(later that night) Helmet – Irving Plaza – March 25th – New York, NY

It just doesn’t seem like its in the cards for me to see Helmet this tour. After what happened in Austin last week at SXSW (see last few entries) – this show had to be on the same night at QOTSA. I still made my best effort to get over there for the show and I walked in just as I did in Austin, just in time to see the last few songs of the encore.

They sounded freaking awesome and thankfully went on last or I wouldn’t have seen any of the show.
Here is what I DID hear:

Encore:

In Person
Wilma’s Rainbow
Bad Mood
Milquetoast

Encore II:

Crisis King
I Know

What I DID NOT hear was them playing the ENTIRE Meantime LP which started the show. Why did these have to be on the same night?? – Regardless, I was grateful for what I did see, and headed home after a long day, a long flight and two awesome shows.

The Fabulous Destiny Of Ana Cortes

As they are about to get started, and I’m getting everything into place, I look up and standing in the back of the club under this bright light, is the Spanish Girl from the Faith No More show beaming at me.
I had emailed her as promised and told her about the show and gave her the info. I even told Pete about her and skeptically said “I doubt she will show up”.
So I take my Spanish fare and we find a seat up close as the show is starting.

Ana & I said goodbye to everyone as I was anxious to spend time with her, and we had one of those majestic New York nights where you just walk the streets and talk for hours and occasionaly stop and have a drink somewhere. It was so Before Sunrise but again I may have seen too many movies haha.
When laughed and talked well into the night, and when it was finally time to say goodnight, we both were dreading of losing the company of the other.
When I got off the train that night, I was totally dancing and singing all kinds of West Side Story style.

So this was something I was also excited about as I had been wanting to check out Jones Beach since I moved here in 2006, but heard it was a trek.
I had much to be excited about, as I was finally going to Jones Beach, and on the perfect day for it, and my new Spanish Ladyfare had excitedly accepted my invitation to join me. We also were going at the invitation of the band’s manager and their bassist P-Nut, who is a total Ween fanatic, so I invited Claude to come along.  A long way from seeing this band in packed sweaty clubs my Freshman year at College.
Now when they its a trek out to Jones Beach, heed this warning, because its not only a trek its freaking ridiculous. If I wasn’t all hunky dory road trip style with my beautiful European companion I would have been furious. First of all you have to catch the LIRR for about an hour with a possible transfer and then when you arrive you have to take a bus. When we arrived we were informed that the bus out to Nikon, was no longer in service and that you had to take a cab. Then the game begins, as all these fucking predatory cabbies who wanna haggle with you instead of just giving you a straight answer. And then wanting to charge per person etc.
We found two other stranded concert-goers who were riding solo amongst them and so we all packed in and shared the fare. Thankfully, they were of the fun, outgoing 311 fan, instead of the jam-band, nitrous inhaling, shirtless variety that seems to bridge their band and ours.
So round trip train tickets and cab fare was almost 100 dollars, so if you wanna go to a show there, remember thats its at least a hundred bucks on top of the ticket price. But again I was walking on air with this girl on the most beautiful day and was about to actually go on a stroll on the beach.
We go ahead and claim our tickets and passes, and then head for the beach.
 
Thankfully we were missing the opening act, as I could hear the gawd-awful wail of the Offspring as we got closer after beach time.
We get in and the venue is gorgeous, not exxactly Red Rocks, but one of those venues that is as about the place as it is about the show. I hadn’t seen 311 in a long time, so I was interested in seeing how they have evolved over time.
 
The show was decent, not the best sound in the world, which was probably the cause of an open-air venue, by the end of the show it was just the two of us. The band’s manager, was so gracious, he actually knew where our seats were, and came out to greet us, and even escorted us backstage after the show.
At first it was that usual scene that I don’t dig, a bunch of industry people, having that same talk, a few contest winners, radio, retail, etc, that most bands will skip altogether and who can blame them. Then their manager comes in thanks everyone for coming but takes me and her to the side and asks us to follow him.
He leads us way out on the other side of the venue where all the buses are parked and we have a fun time talking. He really wanted me to speak with P-Nut, so he goes to get him and introduces us. We talk at length, mostly about Ween, and this dude is a serious fan. I thought he was cool, very mellow and gracious. He had alot of questions that I did my best to answer. We thanked them for having us, and they were very sincere in thanking us for coming.
We begin the hike back to the city, totally high on the events of the day and all that we had experienced. Train rides, beach walks and dudes named P-Nut haha.
So high in fact that when we get back to Penn Station, we walk all the way up to 59th St. and take a daring late-night stroll thru Central Park, that would normally be totally ill-advised (and can get you arrested) but tonight, we were fearless. One of the best nights I can ever remember.

Ok so after a wonderful Christmas and one of the most eventful Holiday seasons, and overall one of the best years of my life, I was ready to say goodbye to 2010 in Los Angeles. I had business there and a bunch of other things going on but the real reason was to be reunited with Ana, the wonderful, and gorgeous young Spanish girl that I met in NYC
We fell so deeply in love – we talk everyday via Skype, I’ve never done the long-distance relationship thing before and I couldn’t wait to see her We finalized that we would meet on December 30th but the airlines had other plans. Here she was taking a 24 hr odyssey and landing in Philly before finally making to LA and all I had to do was fly from Dallas, and her plane lands on time the evening of the 30th as planned. When I got to DFW that afternoon, my flight had been canceled and United seriously told me that they wouldn’t be able to get me out till Jan 3rd!!
Not only would I miss NYE in LA but this poor girl, who barely speaks English, has never been to LA before and has no ability to drive, not to mention, where was she gonna stay?
She was already in LA and expecting my arrival within the hour. What the fuck was I going to do?
They declared that anyone holding a passport could be re-booked for a flight through Mexico City that wouldn’t arrive till 9pm on Dec 31st. By the time I got there and got anywhere it would be past midnight, not good, but I had to get there ASAP so I signed up for the flight, and grabbed a hotel voucher. Speaking of which I had no idea how I was gonna get ahold of her (her cell-phone didn’t work in the States back in July) and out of desperation I just called it and it actually worked thank goodness. I told her I was booking her a hotel at LAX and that I would be in tomorrow. I go to my hotel at DFW but not before paying a visit to my old friends at American Airlines.
Ran into an old Crew Chief I knew back in the day and he booked me on the first flight out in the morning Non-Stop to LAX.
Here we go:

So after finally landing in LAX, waiting forever for my bags and the shuttle to get to Ana’s hotel, I was pretty nervous when I knocked on her door. We hadn’t seen each other in over 5 months – knowing that she was on the other side of the door before I knocked & that in a few short seconds she would be in front of me was the most exciting feeling in the world, I’ve never even remotely been in love like this before.
She opens the door, beaming at me- it was a great moment and pretty dramatic given all that it took for this moment to happen. Let’s just say that we didn’t leave the hotel anytime soon.

We we finally did leave her hotel in the shuttle back to the airport to catch another shuttle out to the Rental Car dispatches. On the way back to the airport, their was a tense moment as the shuttle was full and being driven by this openly rude, thug of a woman who’s driving was very reckless and making everyone audibly nervous. Their was a thick silent moment, and all you could hear was the radio playing Diana Ross’ Upside Down, and we were in the seats closest to the driver and out of nervousness I just started singing the song and it made everyone (including the driver) laugh, who seemed impressed that this white boy knew the words.
We get the rental car and head out to Sam’s, and old friend, and my buddy in LA, who I stay with when I’m out West. It was after 1pm and the Spanish New Year was at 3pm our time, and she had told me of some (well known) Spanish traditions that I knew nothing of, and was fascinated by, and was determined to help her not only keep her traditions, but was excited to participate in them as well.
What that would require is getting to Studio City, after purchasing some champagne and grapes, greeting Sam’s roommates (Sam was still in Texas for the holidays as well and wouldn’t be there till Jan 4th) plugging in my laptop, and securing the password to get online and find the live feed for the Spanish New Year.
We do all of those things by 2:52 pm but it was a Saturday afternoon and Sam’s roommates were having a little Football watching party and everyone was pretty buzzed when we got there, so it was a little awkward to go:

“

Jan 5th
Went to the legendary buffet at Monte Carlo – let me tell you something, hunger will never be an issue after this meal. It was soooo cold, but we had a good time walking around. She doesn’t drink/smoke/cuss/ (which I super appreciate) and I tried to show her gambling, but she didn’t find any appeal in that (which I also kinda appreciate haha) so after walking around a bunch I thought to catch a show to get out of the cold. I’ve been to Vegas 40 times and have never caught a show. The only one that really interested us was the Beatles Love – Cirque Du Soleil so we went over to check it out to discover, that the only day they DON’T have shows is Wednesdays. But we still had fun checking out the setup etc.

Jan 6th
Drove back and caught up with Sam, and the odd thing is that neither one of us mentioned the nonsense on New Year’s Day and it proved also to not be an elephant in the room. He seemed glad to see me and was very welcoming, so for now I decided to dismiss it as temporary insanity haha

Jan 8th – Jan 9th – Recap:

 

So this was Ana’s last weekend before heading back to the motherland on Monday. I did my best to show her around and give her the experience, and for better or worse I feel like I succeeded. However ill-advised and half-baked my ideas sometimes tend to be. For example: It’s perfectly natural for a tourist to want to see the Hollywood sign, and maybe get as close to it as possible (that’s the baked part) – However EXECUTING that turned what I thought would be a few hours in the sun, into an 8 hour trial of one’s physical and mental endurance. I was convinced we had crossed over into the Twilight Zone, I mean I was wearing a leather jacket for christsakes, do I look like I was prepared to climb a freaking mountain? The only thing that kept us going was no longer the desire to get to the sign, but not so that our pain and suffering would be in vain.
I drive to Griffth Park and park the car, and I seriously thought, it would take about 30 mins up, walk around for another 30, back down, the whole thing in under two hours. We started up this thing and I don’t know where I went wrong but this thing just kept winding and winding and winding around and up to the point I thought I was on drugs. It was funny for the first hour or so and we were enjoying the day, but dread started to set in when we were exhausted and over 3 hours in and no sign of it being over anytime soon (pun intended). Fatigue and dread apparently makes me prone to chronic flatulence, and I’m only admitting to this because this punch-line is so great. This girl barely speaks, let alone complain, and in her disgust, suddenly her English was perfect, like somehow my air pollution transcended any language barrier. Somehow I was gross, universally haha – because she delivered the line that kept us laughing when she said “you fart….ALL DAAAAYY”
At one our desperation to get out of this situation cause us (namely me) to make bad decisions, one was this “short-cut” that would have been impossible with hi-tech repelling equipment, let alone with two dehydrated people who are impractically dressed. We followed this couple up and we almost made it, but as we neared the top it became impossible (and quite scary). The female of the couple actually starting crying and then Ana, had a scary slip, so I pulled the plug on it and we had to trek all the way back down in defeat and disgust. As we did so, her English became perfect again when she said clearly “I….HATE…YOU..” haha.
Finally like a castaway spotting an overhead plane, we made it to the top after almost 5 grueling hours.

Now we had the arduous task of getting the fuck back down, and I was determined to NOT repeat what we had just done. I looked for an alternate route and we head down on the opposite side where the residents were which was kinda cool. We even found a store and asked where we were and it was then that it became clear, just what a fuck-up I had made. We were MILES from the car….but at least here I could call a cab and I did just that. It only took about 15 mins for them to show while we desperately re-hydrated, but the cabbie (who was probably scamming us as all fucking cabbies do) seemed uncertain of where our car was, but then seemed on-point.
30 mins and 15 miles later we are nowhere near anything recognizable and I start to panic and then I make it CLEAR where we are parked. He turns around and goes back and when we finally find the car, it was like less than a mile from the store we called the fucker from! I asked how much, and he says “15 bucks and we will call it even” – I just handed him the money, but almost instantly wished I had said “I’m thinking 5 asshole”.

The next day:

We spend the early part of the afternoon doing some last minute things before I have to take her to the airport. We are both visibly upset about her leaving and I try to console her.  I stayed with her, walking her all the way into the airport and to the security point where I only ticketed passengers could continue. Their was a break in the line and we were instructed to go upstairs though a bunch of turns and twists and right there as we were saying goodbye, a moment of sheer John Hughes’ cinematic bliss shined down on us. Their was a speaker right above us that started pumping out Diana Ross’ Upside Down, just EXACTLY as this trip had begun. Incredible.

 

The Siren Festival at Coney Island (Summer/2010)

The Siren Festival w/ Matt & Kim – July 17th – Coney Island, NY
   
My love Ana & I took the loooong subway ride out to Coney Island for our last weekend before she sadly returns back to Spain.
I wanted to show her CI and I usually attend the Siren Festival every year and its always a good time and Coney Island in the Summer time is the best.
However today was not only the hottest freaking day of the year, it may have been in the running for one of the hottest ever. Freaking stroke inducing.
We get off the subway and into the heat, and their is no cover anywhere, and are trying to enjoy the street performers and sidewalk fare on our way to see our first band of the day: The band Ponytail who are part of that wave of awesome talent that’s been coming out of Baltimore as of late.
 

We check them out for a bit but its not long before Spanish Eyes maintains her motif of constant hunger, and hello we were 10 yards from Nathan’s Hot Dogs, and we were at Coney Island, so is their more of an obvious choice? – Nathan’s is the very spirit of CI and the site of the World’s Hot Dog Eating Competition (that ironically took place just the previous weekend). So we step out of 98 degree weather and into a kitchen that had to be over 100 degrees. First their were sooo many people packed into this sweat locker, and with the grill and steam it was stifling in there. Normally this has an adverse effect on me (as I NEVER drink water) but other than just being a bit warm, I was fine. My Spanish companion however..? – Not so much – I can laugh about this now, (and it was funny) but as it was happening I was more concerned than entertained. I had alot to carry with two LARGE lemonades and our food so I went to give her the drink and go back for the rest. When I came back, as funny as this looked haha, she was dizzy and stumbling like a drunk person and falling fast. Before I could say “Hey, are you alright?” – down she went! – The normal apathetic New York public even looked on with a little concern as I rushed to keep some napkins to swipe the condensation from our drinks and apply it to her forehead and neck. My memory of this is largely hilarious, and made for the joke of the day and the next.

So what’s the natural next step from coming this close to a pukey heat stroke? Walk 10 more yards to one of the most famous rollercoasters in the world and the jewel of Coney Island – The Cyclone.

Now to know, you will know that I am not afraid of shit, but you also can’t miss my historic stomach issues and hyper-sensitivity to motion sickness. However I wasn’t gonna let any of that get in the way of us having the fun you are supposed to be having at Coney Island. So onward we march and conquer that sucker. An odd occurrence happened while in line. An especially douchbagger from last Summer says hello to me – whom I previously had envisioned would come to blows if I ever saw this fucker again – oddly the person that introduced us, I ran into her at Monotonix just the night before and she said that they were having a party soon for said douchbag and that jokingly, I should come. So today I see him and also mentions the party, and non-chalantly tells me that the party is designed as condolence as he’s been recently diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Fucking weird and couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

So after I nearly puke off the side of this safety hazard we head to the mainstage right next to us to see the always fun Matt & Kim.
These two live down the street from me so I see them often and I would never be in the mood to listen to their music outside of the live setting, but in concert, what a blast. It could be said that alot of people came just for the festival, but it seemed everyone was there to see them and look how many came!
 


 So what does one do after a long and super hot and sweaty day? – Go to another concert! Before we had met, the senorita had already planned to attend and purchased a ticket to tonight’s after-party at the Music Hall of Williamsburg with We Are Scientists. I didn’t have a ticket, but I can usually get around these things. We get there and I have blogged and lamented at length my feelings towards the entire staff of elitist rabble that run this place and tonight the problems only increased. I really didn’t give a shit anyway, so I told her to go on and I went next door and had a beer and checked email for the duration of their just over an hour performance.

So a few days later on our final night, a la Before Sunrise we had a gorgeous day and evening. We spent the whole day at one of my fave places in NYC, the Natual History Musuem and to hit a few other places I wanted her to see. At dusk we hit a perfect sunset while riding the Staten Island Ferry.
 


     I took her to Rockafeller Plaza afterwards and we just sat in the fountain and talked until it was time to part. The notion that we may never see each other ever again, but with the promise of doing our best, but also just simply enjoying the moment. Whatever may be, a Summer love affair with a beautiful European girl is something we all deserve and one I won’t soon forget.
 

Funny February w/ Eddie Izzard, Chelsea Handler, Henry Rollins & more (Feb/2010)

Eddie Izzard – January 21st   – American Airlines Arena – Dallas, TX

I’ve always wanted to see Eddie Izzard, so tonight I couldn’t have been more excited. Like most Americans I wasn’t introduced to his brand of Info-tainment till his first HBO Special – Dressed to Kill in 1998. It was so unique and original that I had to see/know more and was thrilled when I discovered he was very prolific (and has continued to be) and this whole wonderful catalog of stuff for me to discover. Naturally of course, most Americans don’t even know who he is as British transvesite comedians re-telling the history of the world in hilarious detail, might just be the most un-American thing I think of sadly. But there are also plenty of people like me, for him to fill an entire sports arena like the American Airlines center. I had just got to Dallas a few hours prior and went straight to the arena, grabbed my ticket and got to my seat just minutes before he came on. Their was a real excitment in the air, as it was certain that most people here were seeing him live for the first time. He doesn’t tour the States frequently and when he does its usually sporadic shows on both coasts, so this being his first extensive tour of the States and clearly his first visit to Dallas. He hits stage and the place explodes – he didn’t have his trademark makeup and transvestite gear on, but its not like he would show up anything less than stylish. However it did seem like he was going for a matador theme 🙂

      While his material is anything buy linear, his theme is always apparent and this show his brilliance was in full gear as the show revolved around him trying to make some sense of the history of civilization. Pretty ambitous for a two hour show. I have seen everything I could get my hands on of his but yet still seeing him do this whole self-referential pantomime thing in person was a thing of wonder. I literally laughed till I couldn’t breathe, and just a one of a kind class act. Long show too, he did about 90 mins, then an intermission and then a second set with an encore, all in total almost 3 hours.
Henry Rollins – February 24th – Lakewood Theatre – Dallas, TX
   I was excited about this show for several reasons – namely, I’m a Rollins person (whatever that means) though over the years he and his output have changed considerably to various degrees to my liking, I’ve followed his career pretty closely. In the early days I can remember being a teenager and leaving his shows exhausted (they often ran 4 + hours) and inspired. Inspired in a way that nothing else quite could, and it would be unfair to say that I still patronize his wares as a residual to capture that old feelings because he still always brings something new to the proverbial table, but it would also be inaccurate to say that he has the ability to still move me in that same way. And why is that? Sure I’ve grown up and no longer impressionable, and his output is now largely dialed in to a political format that I often don’t agree with. However I still get a good deal of milage out of Ol’ Hank, and the reason is, that he is still a master storyteller, and maintains a zero bullshit disposition that is impossible for me not to be drawn to. And this was a good show. I’ve seen literally dozens of his spoken word shows, and as many Rollins Band shows and though the last few I’ve seen, though coming close, I’ve never felt downright dissapointed.
He did a 6 night stand a few years back in NYC with Jeanane Garafolo and Marc Maron that just didn’t work, and I think if asked he would say the same thing. I went to the first 3 nights and it just never improved and it was weird hearing him repeat stuff verbatim. I’m not naive and know that his show is a bit and he has to rework stuff night after night, but this is the closest I’ve ever seen the lines blurred from Spoken Word to a straight up comedy act.
Then about a year later I saw some solo shows in NYC and in Austin, TX and these were better but still lacked inspiration by comparison to some shows I had seen not that long before. The act seemed tired and I had heard alot of the material before and it seemed he had developed some bad habits that kind of made me feel uncomfortable. If you have been to a few of these, you know at some point he’s gonna get serious and talk about the importance of life and your assured a reference or two to his own inspirations of the Ramones, Devo, or P-Funk. Over the years as he’s become a seasoned performer he’s also mellowed considerably  (to his benefit) and realizes that posing for pics and signing autographs just comes with the job and I like that, and don’t miss the “angry Rollins” that some do.
What had been missing was what seemed the inspired Rollins, and thankfully on this night, that’s just what we got. He’s also become practical and even effiecient instead of droning on for 4 hours no matter how enticing the story he’s able to do a healthy show that you can take from and do it in just under two hours.
His unique sense of humor and crushing wit were in full effect much to my hilarity and told some orginal stories that I hadn’t yet heard. Doesn’t really matter actually, he could have sat on a paint bucket and read Moby Dick, and the next time we were in the same city, it would still be hard to resist going.

Photos – 

Roy Turner