Festivals

Ok so here’s yet another (but the final) chapter of this year’s SXSW 2014 saga. It’s just a final overview of the entire festival so you get a feel of what the vibe was like this year and some overall coverage and fun pics that just didn’t fit into the other posts.

Jessie Andrews

After doing a gig with Jessie on Friday, I ran into her again the next day over at the Fader Fort – Was great to get to do the gig, Jessie was lovely and one of the most ambitious human beings I’ve ever met. She’s got clothing & jewelry lines in addition to her work in the porn industry & other modeling ventures and now a great DJ & music producer.
Now Jessie’s not the only adult performer current or former that’s kicking ass outside that industry that I saw at SXSW this year.

Open Windows Screening – Alamo Ritz

Sasha Grey (who would probably appreciate if I didn’t conjunct her name with porn any longer which is a fair request to make) is in a new movie with Elijah Wood called Open Windows that was screening at the festival followed by a Q&A with her, Wood & Director Nacho Vigalondo.
I mentioned that I went to see a movie since it was raining before the Rachael Ray party yesterday – This was it.

Elijah Wood leads as Nick Chambers, the man behind JillGoddard-Caught.com, a website dedicated to providing you with an endless stream of photos of one of the hottest stars out there, actress Jill Goddard (Sasha Grey).  Under the impression that he’s won a fan contest and will get to have dinner with Jill, Nick flies to Austin where she’s promoting her latest movie and preps for his big night out. That’s all I’m willing to give away.

However I will say – its a tough format to get used to.  Every little bit of action unfolds on Nick’s laptop screen, which is consumed by a number of open windows.   There are an abundance of vantage points that do offer a comprehensive representation of what’s happening, but the problem is, as presented here, navigating around someone’s laptop screen just doesn’t feel natural.
It’s clearly quite the undertaking so cheers  to director Nacho Vigalondo and his team for taking on that challenge and making it work as well as they did.

Sasha was fantastic and looked amazing and manages to sell the role and deliver the scenes with an impressive amount of honest emotion.  The multitude of viewpoints is necessary to tell all sides of this story, but sliding up, down and sideways time and time again makes it hard to get your bearings.   The abundance of story details, twists, turns and then new plot points & you’re trying so hard to keep track of the details I was exhausted.
Vigalondo has something here.  This found footage 2.0 shooting style is a natural progression for the technique and offers a wealth of innovative opportunities.

They followed the movie up with a fun Q&A session – Many I think were surprised to see how fun and eager to laugh Sasha is. When I hear people talk about her they always mention a coldness or a stiff personality and I can kinda see where they might get that, but in all of my interactions with her she’s always been super fun and quick with a joke.

April O’ Neil

…….to see Kendrick Lamar‘s label Top Dawg Entertainment using some T&A marketing tactics of their own (just as some parents were leaving as their curious children disturbingly look on).

New York dance duo Heartsrevolution sold merch and popsicles from a repurposed ice cream van. What made that van extraordinary: every inch was covered with Swarovski crystals, which, according to singer Leyla Safai, took the band two-and-a-half years to affix.

So yesterday was the last Official Day of SXSW and like in past years theirs usually a few events still leftover or some other non-official things to do on Sunday.
Not that those events aren’t cool, it’s just that usually I’m here for like 10 days and by Sunday I’m spent. Everyone else has to get back to their day jobs on Monday so literally everyone leaves on Sunday. I was totally spent as well but nothing was going to stop me from finally seeing Cherie Currie perform.
Plus, I had a boat Ride to take –

Day 5 – Sunday March 16th –

One of the things I look forward to when I come to Austin for SXSW or anytime in the Spring/Summer is the many boat rides that you can take around Barton Springs etc. Every year that I’ve come to SXSW theirs always some crazy party on a boat that I wind up on and two days ago I was supposed to be on one but I had a gig and a million other things to do. Today I would make up for it (sorta).
I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose this week and if there is any way that the ramshackle-ness of SXSW — with its frustrations, lines and corporate overtones — can coexist with the countercultural spirit that began this event, and that continues to make this experience great. The unofficial events this week were phenomenal, particularly on the East Side and South Austin. There’s a sense that these DIY-style events are put on because of passion, not so much exposure, and that true heart goes into the curation. It makes a difference.

7th Annual Chicarones Boat Party – Highland Lakes Marina
w/ The Coup
& more

The old trusty boat bobbed in the water, inviting us crazies on board to give this hell week one more hurrah, and we did it in fashion.
Haunted Spaceship, Sleep of Oldominion, Ariano, XP, Murs, The Chicharones, and The Coup, all rocked it in true boat party fashion. The evening was hitting hard and the wind was whipping, the rap battled the elements of nature and hip hop won, despite the fact it was freezing as shit.

The Chicarones

If your unfamliar with The Chicharones & indie Hip-Hop period, they formed in 2001 after a chance meeting between Seattle-based Sleep and Vancouver-based Josh Martinez here at the festival actually. Sleep was at the time a member of the hip hop collective Oldominion, of which he is still an active collaborator. Josh Martinez entered the duo from a career as a solo artist. They did their thing and it was great as it is every year I see them.

The Coup

Afterward, funk collective the Coup took over. Politicized lyrics &  the music itself is more a study of rhythm in all its forms. Melding elements of soul, punk rock, and the tenacity of early-’90s-era hip-hop.
Frontman Boots Riley prowled the stage, provoking the audience into moving along with the beats. The Chicarones are a tough act to follow, but The Coup really delivered.

As I mentioned you can see how bundled up we all are – it was cold!

Texas Chainsaw Meltdown @ Hotel Vegas
w/ Cherie Currie
Black Oak Arkansas
Animals
Apache
& more

As I mentioned above, yesterday was the last “offical” day and everyone goes home today and I normally would too, but when I see this poster a few weeks before coming down here, and saw Cherie Currie was not only gonna do one of her Chainsaw Sculpture art demos that she was going to also be performing a Runaways set, it instantly became (for me) the most anticipated event of the whole damn thing. (…and is that Jim Dandy & Black Oak Arkansas I see too?).

Ok, so this was now Saturday the last official day of the festival (though I would stick around for two more days) and as I didn’t get in until close to 5am I woke up around 10am and it was pouring down raining. As in past years I had planned to attend Rachael Ray’s Annual cookout and concert that is held outdoors at Stubbs on the last Sat every year. Little sleep and not quite ready for rain and more Rock and Roll – I decided to finally see one of the movies instead –  Open Windows (more on this in the next entry).

Day 4 – Saturday March 15th

After coming out of the movie (which was weird…review to come) its still raining a bit so I took that opportunity to run by the Brass House to see my buddy (and occasional collaborator) Neil and his band Son of Swan –

Neil has been on quite a roll this year and has been getting some waaay overdue recognition. From a great showing at NAMM this year to performing with Orianthi Panagaris at the Trobudour – he’s been on quite the ride. He flew straight here from Los Angeles after performing an insane show with Eurthymics’ Dave Stewart just the night before.
Once I got to Stubb’s, after all the crazy running around this week I was determined to just stay there and not leave for the rest of the day/night (and that’s exactly what I did).

Rachael Ray’s Feedback – Stubb’s
w/ Yelawolf
Blondie
Ceelo Green
& more – 

Rain apparently does not dampen the appetite for free food and music – even after 2 straight weeks of it apparently as the line snaked literally the entire block around Stubbs when I got there after 3pm & into the late afternoon. I feel guilty sometimes that I am ushered right in to these things while others wait for hours, but I also know that I have worked my ass off and have earned it.
This party, now in its seventh year, has won its reputation as one of SXSW’s most reliable good times, whether you’re there for the food/free booze or music from usually a pretty reliable lineup.

Yelawolf 

The first group I saw when I arrived was this rapper dude Yelawolf – I saw him at some Village Voice party down here a few years ago and it was fucking terrible.
Another in a current crop of white, heavily tattooed skinny dudes that look like they just got out of jail.

Speaking of heavily tattooed, skinny, white dudes that look like they just got out of jail the big attraction was that he was playing with a full band that included Travis Barker – drummer for Blink 182 (& for hire for whatever flavor of the week or awards show).

I went to the indoor bathroom right after this and suddenly I couldn’t get out – the inside was overtaken by total insanity as everyone it seemed in town had evacuated the city and were rushing in here to the tiny indoor stage (apparently because they heard that Green Day was doing a surprise intimate show) – Wait….fucking Green Day was causing all of this?

Foxboro Hot Tubs

Ok, so while its all three members of  Green Day, its a side project called Foxboro Hot Tubs that’s from the looks of it supposed to get them back to basics and have a reality check of some sort from carrying punk rock guilt and miss playing small clubs and the fun without the pressure.
They didn’t downsize its show at all, from the balloon drop at the start of the show to the confetti and silly string that  showered the packed room.

Billie Joe Armstrong (the guy with the most punchable face in Rock N Roll) sporting a flowered top hat & a (ironic…barf) Motley Crue t-shirt, Armstrong opened by taunting the crowd that it was “Boring!” before the group tour into its garage-y originals –
However a running theme of the day seemed to be all of the bands doing at least one recognizable, but completely unexpected cover – In this case it was the Who’s mini-opera A Quick One (While He’s Away).

Austin Mayor Lee Leffingwell proclaimed Saturday Rachael Ray Day and presented her with a plaque; Ray, however, had lost her voice “screaming the Beatles with my husband ‘til midnight” and kept her remarks truncated, though she did introduce Foxboro Hot Tubs’ set.

Blondie

Despite the shortened set, Blondie was tight and clearly energized, powering through a hits-heavy playlist that included One Way or Another, Rapture, Heart of Glass and Call Me.

Debbie Harry is still able to pull off being Debbie Harry – and their recognizable, but completely unexpected cover was the Beastie Boys’ Fight For Your Right To Party which was done really cool and perfect for the afternoon. I’ll never forget the image of after they were done Rachael Ray came out to receive them and drunk or just unaware of Debbie Harry protocol, grabs Debbie by the ears, and moving her from side to side in total fan girl glee.

Har Mar Superstar

My friends Joady & Andrew own a booking company (that also includes Peter Murphy & Star and Dagger that I saw last night) and they represent an enigma that goes by the name Har Mar Superstar. The pic below is the most clothes I’ve ever seen him wear in concert.

I spared you the vision of him (as per usual in his show) stripping down to his whitey-tighties – This dude is so absurd and I believe that’s the point. A short, balding, pudgy man that looks like a cross between Danny Devito & the Critic gesticulating suggestively like he’s Prince but it’s not parody and he sells it as sincere as can be. You actually believe that he believes that he is this fearless & sexy. Hey good for him, and the thing is that the dude really can sing. So you could look at it like he’s not letting his aesthetic short-comings hold him back, or it could be that he’s completely unaware and someone should tell him – you decide.

Ceelo Green

However, Cee Lo Green was not to be outdone – . Fronting a full, mixed-gender band, whose female members called Scarlet Fever, sported tight, glittery body suits, and promising to “be your adult entertainment for the evening,”
Out of the seemingly millions of unbelievable hot girls I’ve seen this week, either performing on stage or just a patron of the festival (Austin is home to some of the most beautiful women on Earth) I really think the most attractive girl I saw all week (and one of the hottest ever) was the blood-red-headed keyboardist, Dani Ivory. They were ALL really hot – and played their asses off but on a stage full of insanely gorgeous women, she still stood out – THAT’s how hot –

He started his buoyant, spirit-lifting set with Bright Lights Bigger City before taking the human jukebox approach at the start of his set, covering MGMT’s Electric Feel, David Bowie`s Let’s Dance,  Pussycat Dolls’ Don’t Cha and of course the Violent Femmes’ Gone Daddy Gone which he recorded as part of Gnarls Barkley before elevating things even further with Crazy and “the song that made me rich and famous,” Fuck You.
Pretty much what you would expect. Though I’m quite aware that he’s a punchline and I share that opinion, I thoroughly enjoyed both Gnarls’ LPs and thought this was a really fun show.

The Toadies

I’ve known these guys since I was 16 years old and when they got signed to a major label deal a few years later, it felt like a victory for all of us. When they released their debut LP Rubberneck it was a triumph that is still celebrated as they have become a state treasure for Texas.
This year marks the 20th Anniversary of the LP and the band is still going strong and the singles from the album are still in heavy rotation all these years later.
So to commemorate the occasion they are about to embark on a tour that features them playing the entire record from front to back, something they have actually never done before and tonight was their first time doing so.

To be clear, usually when you see the Toadies live they do play most of Rubberneck, usually sans:

Mexican Hairless
Quitter
Velvet

But what the big deal was that they were presenting it in order for the first time and it was a real treat. They were a last minute add (hence why they were going on first) and they were doing just the LP and that’s it – No encore etc. Just here’s the record and bam – A very cool statement I thought.
They pulled it off in spite of logistical problems beyond their control – I had been texting with them to find out when they were going on and apparently CeeLo was in no hurry/wasn’t aware/or simply didn’t care to get his shit and go so they had the nightmare of trying to park and get set on his schedule.
I was hoping they were gonna go on late – I wanted a break from music and was hoping to catch the wrestling show and then follow that up with them, but staying there gave me a serendipitous moment of what came next that might be the highlight of the whole week for me – Here’s what happened:

The Last Internationale

After the Toadies played, I wasn’t sure of what was next – All I knew was that I was so drained and exhausted from the week that I really no longer cared about anything other than just staying put, however I didn’t know any of the bands that were listed to play and the sponsor for the showcase was the fucking Gap so I really wasn’t sure what to do.
I went to the inside bathroom once again and then to the inside bar where that smaller stage was to get a beer and I’m really, instantly enjoying the music I’m hearing behind me on the stage, from what I learn is the band the Last Internationale.
And then I hear this:
“We found out that the Gap recently became a sponsor, and we almost canceled this show, but we didn’t because we didn’t want to upset anyone, but we want to make it perfectly clear that this show is NOT sponsored by Gap.”

This immediately got my attention and I turn around and see this incredibly striking looking gal just kicking ass and the band is right there with her.

Then, addressing anyone from the Gap who might be in the room, the guitarist began throwing out free band shirts, shouting “This is made in the USA … NOT in some sweatshop. Fuck the Gap!”

Mixing politics with music can be dangerous, but I look past the singer and I swear that the drummer is Brad Wilk from Rage Against the Machine.
Inciting some strong feelings was clearly the intention here. Besides, it never got violent, just more awesome as the frontwoman leapt from the stage to sing the final song encircled by wildly cheering fans.
They were one of the most enjoyable acts I’ve seen in a long time and wanted to know more – I had never even heard of them, I just happening to be getting a beer in there.
I’m no fanboy type but I had to know so when the drummer walks by me I asked him if he was from Rage and sure enough it was him – He then turns his attention to my T-shirt (Eddie Van Halen) and asks me if that’s EVH on my shirt and then instantly we are bonding as VH fanatics.
I told him that David Lee Roth’s first solo tour was my first concert and he countered that VH”s Fair Warning tour was his to the point that it became playfully competitive over who was the bigger fan.

As silly as it sounds but for some reason I was expecting him to talk like Rage singer Zach and be humorless and very militant – He couldn’t have been further from that and was the nicest most regular dude ever. Talks with a heavy Southern California accent and was instantly welcoming and incredibly friendly.
While we were nerding out over VH I remembered reading something a few years ago that he was married to Selene Vigil the singer from 7 Year Bitch – one of my all-time favorite bands – I was afraid to ask him in case they weren’t together anymore etc. But finally I did and he says “Oh yeah man, she’s outside with our kids, would you like to meet her?” – I was just simply on my way to the bathroom – incredible.
I follow Brad out and he introduces me to his two young boys and Selene, who looks exactly the same as she did the last time I saw her which was close to 20 years ago. Her and I talked for like half an hour really enjoying reminiscing about the 7 Year Bitch days and seemingly everything in between. She was as nice and eager to talk as he was. She released a solo record in 2010 (that I didn’t get to hear to almost 2012) called That Was Then – that I highly recommend.
I told her how happy I was that she was making music and how good it was to hear her voice again and she said that the timing of our conversation was fitting because like just this week a label is wanting to put out a live 7 Year Bitch record – I instantly started winding her up that they had to tour etc and we just had the best time. I really hope they decide to do it.
Selene introduced me to the awesome frontwomen I mentioned earlier from the band, Delilah, and she is really friendly as well and was telling me about the band.
While Brad is obviously based in California, the rest of the group is actually from NYC and living in Brooklyn for seven years we did the NYC talk for a bit before I got out of their way and let them get on with it.
Their debut record is coming out in June – If its anything like what I heard its really an album to look out for.

The Gap Showcase
w/ The Preatures
Bear Hands
The 1975

Ok so after bidding them all farewell I was thinking about calling it a night but was gonnna hang with the Toadies a bit before and thought I would go outside to the main stage and wait till they were done loading out. It took alot longer than expected and I managed to see the next three bands of this silly Gap Showcase.

The Preatures

One good thing that did come out of this is that I did see this band the Preatures from Australia and their singer Isabella Manfredi is just awesome – A total Force of Nature –

Bear Hands

Next was a dumb band with an even dumber name – Bear Hands – get it?

Not much to say here other than they sounded exactly like the kind of band that would be playing a Gap Showcase at SXSW with a name like Bear Hands.
the kind of contrived act that found themselves in the hands of connected handlers that manufacture this kinds crap.

The 1975

The EXACT same thing can be said for this band the 1975 – they even the prefix The AND a number as the suffix – how so very trite and calculating.
The entire festival I’ve been hearing the hype of this band – They are this years Ambulance LTD. – remember them? Me neither.

Photos – 

Roy Turner
Jerri Starbuck
Ted Chase
David Hall
Kayla Merrill
Daniel Boczarski
Brian Lahiere

Ok, so here we go with Day 3 of the 2014 SXSW Conference in Austin, TX – As I mention in Part II, I didn’t think I could outdo yesterday’s ambition of seeing 15 acts over 7 different locations but I think I may have even topped that today. And its certainly not like I’m trying. In fact I was actively trying to NOT do this and just get my work done and see what else came along the way. That biz took me to alot of different parts of the conference today but also when that fuse gets lit I tend to get out of control. Here goes:

Ok, so I had to be in like 3 different parts of the city all seemingly during the 4pm-5pm hour and somehow made all of my appointments and even caught some impromptu action along the way. First thing was I had an early afternoon DJ gig at the Living Room Bar at the W Hotel – nothing major, just a chill session in a swank hotel lounge for about 30 people.
What made it special was that Jessie Andrews was also scheduled to DJ – If your not familiar with her, or have just seen her many American Apparel ads – she’s really something.

In addition to being a high-profile model, she performs in adult films, has her own jewelry line, is a columnist for BPM and Galore Magazine (and she’s only 22) and has been focusing heavily the last year on producing music and doing tons of DJ gigs all over North America. I’m not usually into House Music but her Girlfriend Mixtapes have been some of my favorite this year and she made a killer video for standout track You Won’t Forget Tonight –

Was happy to have met and played a gig with her – She was super nice and as you can see super attractive, and in person its kinda insane how good-looking she is. She doesn’t smoke or do drugs like me and is just doing it right. You can’t kick this much ass and look this good doing that shit.

Ok after I wrapped up my set, I had to get all the way over to the East Side but was gonna swing by and see some other friends from New Jersey, New Day Dawn –

New Day Dawn – Texas Rockfest 

Their a great band from Maplewood, NJ where my dude Claude (Ween) is from, whom I was on my way to meet that very second. I was disappointed by the producers of the Texas Rockfest as they do literally nothing to promote this thing and just rely on passers by at the festival (which is ludicrous given all the competition and people usually come here with a set agenda) as well as they don’t spend any money booking anyone with a major draw that these smaller bands could play with to get some needed exposure (the whole idea of the festival right?).
In fact they CHARGE you to play there – and let this be a cautionary tale for any band potentially falling for this scam or any racket that this festival enables.
They prey upon bands that are naive about the business side of things who just simply want to play the festival – The festival itself does the same thing – that submission money that unknown acts pay to showcase at the festival is what funds their agenda for other big acts. So while everyone is down the street watching stadium headliner-in-a-club setting, your band plays to no one.
Here’s a tip – if your paying your doing it wrong – hook up with a sponsor, have them foot the bill and play to a real crowd. Don’t fall for the “We are playing SXSW!” racket – You’ll spend all your money getting to and from Austin, play to practically no one and go home empty and instead of creating buzz, you just created more debt for yourself.

Here’s a way of creating buzz the right way, as I was headed back to my car to get over to the East Side I literally walked into a fucking tornado of fan fury.
As I later learned, Hardcore band Trash Talk’s performances were cancelled yesterday due to the tragedy that took place and with one simple tweet that they were staging a free show literally in the patio/street in front of Beerland, it was as if the entire festival evacuated anywhere else to get there.

Trash Talk – Beerland Patio

I just happened to be walking to my car and into the eye of this impromptu madness. Minutes elapsed before the cops broke it up. This kind of thing evokes the very punk spirit the band represents so their fans live for this shit and dudes were literally jumping off the Beerland roof, onto a throng of circle-pitting insanity that coagulated the Red River block adjacent to 6th Street. Police, still obviously sensitive to yesterday’s events were doing their best to break up the chaos while fans shouted  “One More Song!”.

Regardless I got the fuck out of dodge with a quickness. Headed over to the East Side old school record store Trailer Space.
Claude was playing bass with some old punk friends of his from New Jersey called TV Tramps.

TV Tramps – Trailer Space

Singer Joy, has the best look ever and I would invest any amount of money in any of her future endeavors. The whole band is the real deal and all great players.
Saw a bunch of old friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. Had some biz to take care of with Claude before heading out, wish I could of stuck around to check out the store more, it reeked of something very similar from my past of employment at an indie record store.

Jesus Lizard Book Party – Book People

Waterloo’s literary neighbour Book People was hosting David Yow, Mac McNeilly and David William Sims of the Jesus Lizard who collectively have penned a book that offers a frank account of their time in the band as well as Scratch Acid, the band that started in Austin that later became the Jesus Lizard.

Book includes a mini-autobiography from each member, priceless photos, an epic list of every show they played, bassist/resident historian David Sims’ obsessive track-by-track breakdowns of each album, and testimonials from peers like Krist Novoselic, Guy Picciotto, and the band’s longtime producer Steve Albini.
– Mike Watt’s entry is like an abstract beatnik poem.

After the singing the band participated in a discussion with a moderator. The SXSW timing, Yow said was “happenstance,” but he wouldn’t totally rule out playing a few songs with Scratch Acid since he, Sims, drummer Rey Washam, and guitarist Brett Bradford were all in town.
I don’t think that actually happened on this trip but I did catch Bradford’s current project, Insect Sex Act a few hours later, check it later down in this post.

Ok, so now I was headed back to the East Side which for me, is increasingly where all the action is (at least the action that I’m interested in is).
I needed a break before the next two events so I stopped off at a familiar SXSW destination – the Fader Fort.
Needed to charge my phone (and my mind & body) – sit down for a sec, have drink and chill and you can do all of that here (which makes it such a popular destination) and oh yeah, my “break” consisted of also seeing Damon Albarn while I was here.

Damon Albarn & Guests – The Fader Fort

I literally had no idea who was scheduled to play,all I knew was that I was beat and needed to pay the Fort a visit to chill and recharge before heading back out.
That’s the other amazing thing about this festival – Like yesterday with the Les Claypool thing, I can’t tell you how many things I’ve got to enjoy just out of proximity and happenstance and those always seem to be a bit more special because of it.
I’m by no means a committed fan of Damon Albarn but I do know that he’s heavily influenced by alot of artists that I’m interested in and the (& Guests) invited the promise that something special indeed could go down.

Albarn, who’s primarily here to debut songs from his new solo album Everyday Robots, and again I’m not a committed Albarn fan, but these songs were just downright dreadful. Every song was super mopey and slow and just plain boring. They seemed meant to have this powerful dynamic but just came off as extremely dull. People were leaving in droves.
Albarn’s a smart guy, so to break up the monotony he invited De La Soul onstage to join him for their Gorillaz collaboration Feed Good Inc. and naturally the place went positively batshit –

Pulling off one of the bigger surprises so far at the conference as I knew that a big deal was the return of Deltron and they were in town to kickoff their first tour in their 15 year existence, but I didn’t even know Albarn was playing, remember I just came in for a drink and to sit down.
And then look at the pic above, Albarn doubled-down and invited Snoop Dogg to finish the song with them and do a few verses from Drop it Like Its Hot.
It was a great moment and one that just totally fell into my lap.

Ok so I only had a few blocks to walk which was good because I could barely stand at this point for a one-two punch of shows at the Grackle and Hotel Vegas – which thankfully were right next door to each other. An act of convenience that I would miraclously repeat again later in the evening with an another gift of proximity for my aching feet.

Insect Sex Act – the Grackle

As I mentioned above, members of legendary punk freak-out Scratch Acid has a new band with the impossible name of Insect Sex Act and with a pedigree extending from Scratch Acid through Prong via Ministry, they are quotable experts in perverse, rock psychosis.

For example their outrageous new album is called A Fistful of Panties, For a Few Panties More, or Once Upon a Time in Your Panties.
The show was ridiculously loud and even more inanely awesome – Just some crazy old-school art punks doing their best to piss everyone off and kicking ass at the same time.

Buffalo Daughter – Hotel Vegas

So I only had to walk a few hundred feet this time first stopping at the Sailor Jerry House next door to use the bathroom and say hello to some old friends.
I was finally going to get to see Tokyo Japan’s Buffalo Daughter, a funk rockabilly quartet  best known in the late ’90s when they were signed to Beastie Boys’ label, Grand Royal. Their 1998 album New Rock exemplifies what they do, mining synthpop, krautrock and hiphop into one funky dance party.

I never got to see them back in the day and this was one of their first shows in North America in 15 years. The show was phenomenal and one of the best I saw all week. I was just so happy to be finally at one of their shows. Their DJ is a real charachter doing very unorthodox scratching and makes all the weird faces in the world, and projecting animated buffalos onto a screen behind the band with his phone. It was VERY Japanese (and awesome!)

Ok, so now back to downtown for as I mentioned (and thankfully) the next two shows were in also in side-by-side venues – Swan Dive and Holy Mountain.

Star And Dagger – Swan Dive Patio

I get over to Swan Dive to see some friends of mine from New Orleans – Star and Dagger – and really this was the only real hiccup I had the entire festival.
I don’t do that badge/wristband racket – Instead I secure invitations from the bands I want to see ahead of time or in this case invited by the band themselves.
I don’t know what going on inside Swan Dive but it was a total shitshow out front and no could tell me what was going on.
I finally figure out that the show I wanna see has to be accessed through the alley as they were playing the outdoor patio.
The door people at this place were fucking chimps with the corniest Austin-style pose ever – These guys thought they were really something guarding a door in an alley next to a dumpster. They also “assign” certain SXSW “staff” at some of these venues to “oversee” shit – They are always some humorless 19 year old chick volunteering for free while taking a night off from their barista job and think their now in the mix and have the worst attitudes – I almost said fuck it and just went next door to my next show before a member of S&D’s crew recognized me and walked me in.

And good thing too, because the show kicked serious ass. The three women who make up Star & Dagger put heavy music’s testosterone contingent on notice. Dava She Wolf was in the crazy-fun and unfortunately short-lived Cycle Sluts From Hell, while bassist Sean was the other half of White Zombie until they disbanded in 1998. Singer Von Hesseling is such a bad ass, I could watch her do her thing all day.
I met them last all last year in NYC through my buddy Dave Catching who sometimes plays with them along with other Queens of the Stone Age alumni Gene Trautman – Unfortunately both of those dudes were not at this show but it didn’t stop the girls from tearing the roof off this piece of shit.

I hung for a bit to catch up and say hello before heading next door to continue today’s motiff of seeing some legendary Hip-Hop.

Mobb Deep – Holy Mountain

I go over and get in no problem (unlike their asshole neighbors next door) to see one of my fave Hip-Hop groups ever that I never managed to get to see – Mobb Deep –  I was scratching them off the list day left and right today.

As you may know I notoriously hate pop music from the 1990’s and loathe the current nostalgic wave that always happens at the 20 year mark of anything – but I will say this – They got Hip-Hop CORRECT in the 90s and their LP, 1995’s The Infamous became the archetype for a genre. A small but exuberant crowd completely lost their shit, rapping along to every word, when Shook Ones Pt. 2 closed their brief 20 min set.

Kelis – Hype Hotel

Ok, what else could possibly be still going on in this town tonight?? – It was now after 1am – I was so tired I couldn’t speak, dude GO TO BED – but oh no, on the way to the car I passed by the Hype Hotel because I was hungry as well and guess what – Here comes Kelis –

Ten years after her Neptunes-produced sugar-bomb Milkshake and four since her EDM diva turn on Flesh Tone, Kelis has morphed again — this time into an earth mother R&B priestess more about sustenance than confections. Fronting a big band — including a four piece brass/wind section and backing singers — in robes and gold-dust makeup, thick mane of hair to her waist, she segued non-stop through a set of new soul vamps with an Afro-Caribbean undertow and an overall sound recalling 1970s Stevie Wonder. If the songs fell short of that mark, she put them over with spunk and charm.
With a solid new Dave Sitek-produced album called Food as well as an actual food truck to promote (which fits the Austin dynamic brilliantly)  Kelis has been working SXSW hard all week. She’s spared no expense in an effort to recreate the album’s sleek R&B sound, backed by a crack dozen-piece band that delivers the goods. It’s a stellar show, leaning very heavily on the new album and deep cuts from her past albums, and almost grudgingly the fast one-two punch of Milkshake and Got Your Money late in the set that brought out the inevitable field of phones in the crowd. She did not play Bossy, despite Beyonce’s recent poaching of the word.

Ok, so that’s GOT TO BE THE END right?  Wrong!

Jessie Andrews – Republic 

When I met Jessie earlier in the day at the gig we did together, she technically didn’t get to play for very long at all. She didn’t have an SD card and I didn’t have a spare one to give her (and oddly no one else did either) So she invited me to come to an after-hours party at Republic where she was going on at 3am – I had just left the Kelis show a little after 2am – so I just walked over.

I’m wasn’t the only one having an exhausting marathon day – This was her SEVENTH DJ gig of the day (and 9th overall of the festival) – You have to admire her ambition and her skills were still on point. It was a great way to enjoy the end to a very hectic but amazing day.

Stay tuned for Part IV –

Photos –

Roy Turner
Will Oliver

So waking after a long day of driving here yesterday and the events of last night’s tragedy still ringing in my head. especially after the gruesome details started to unfold.  The mood was palpable and you could feel it on everyone’s lips all day. I buried myself in work (and play) and went on to have one of the longest/weirdest/awesome/exhausting days in (my) the history of SXSW –

Day 2 – March 13th

So as you know parking is real bitch in Austin even when its not SXSW, but during it, its nearly impossible and every year I get disgusted seeing locals charging you to park in their yards and now schools and churches getting in on the act – fucking parasites.
My goal was first to go by a few places on the East Side to get credentialed and then drop off some business materials at Stubb’s and then make the long sojourn about 11 blocks down E 12th to see King Buzzo from the Melvins do an early solo acoustic gig –

King Buzzo – Record Label Rummage Sale

A cool outdoor show put on by some locals, who could detect my exhaustion (if I looked bad to these people, I must’ve looked terrible…j.k…much to my chagrin their is photo proof later in this post) and offered me a beer as Buzz was just getting started. First person I see is Jeff P once again and we regaled the previous evening’s Pure Luck gig as well as the tragedy that followed. He has a natural gift for simplefying things and we drank in the sun and listened to Buzz.

…..and now for something completely different – I still had like 25 blocks to trek back to the mess downtown so I walked back down the east side of 6th st picking up more credentials along the way….by the time I made it to downtown I had so many colorful wristbands, I looked like Cyndi Lauper.

MTVU Woodie Awards –

Every year, MTV produces this TV special with their sister imprint MTVu – as in University – aimed at showcasing (and rewarding) new, young up & coming talent in tandem with the festival. The crowd is usually super young and super annoying and if I didn’t feel old enough I usually have never heard of any of the bands that are booked to play – I’m no longer of that demographic – I usually just use this as a pit stop because MTV has big money to give out free food/booze and all kinds of other goodies and being the bottom feeder that I am, I don’t pass up free beer and bbq and a chance to get out of the sun for a sec.
Not this year – I was moving on up in the world and this year I was an invited guest with an All Access pass so I could sit my old ass in an air-conditioned twerk-free tent and feast to my heart’s content.
…and I did get to check out some new bands (and no previously I had not heard of any of them)

Echosmith

The first band I saw was Echosmith – kind of like Haim, their a family-band from Southern California and play a pleasant, earnest kind of pop music.

Bleachers

Singer dude was dressed so ironically fashion-forward style that it had swung back around to just plain irksome looking. Kinda reminded me of Waldo from the Hot for Teacher video – but he did do a great cover of my fave Tom Petty song – Don’t Come Around Here No More –

London Grammar

I saw this super good looking girl backstage and asked someone who it was and was told she was in a band called London Grammar who were up next and that they were indeed from London and compared them to Portishead – who are like my favorite band ever, so needless to say, they had my full attention.

Wrong again asshole – as I discover  this pic on the cover of MTV.com and Zimbio – among all these pretty people with their perfect hair and cool sunglasses, who is that pasty, balding, homeless looking dude with BBQ sauce on his shirt their in the left corner? (and who let his old ass in here?) – Oh..that’s me

IFC Fairrounds
w/ Les Claypool’s Duo de Twang

I had to take a break from the cool kids so I walked outside and I swore I could hear Les Claypool’s unmistakable goofy voice in the distance – and that my friends is the very essence of this festival and what keeps me coming back – Where else could you take a hiatus from Lil Wayne’s pot smoke and find yourself at a Les Claypool gig….in some new formation you didn’t know existed?

Setlist – 

Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver (Primus)
Booneville Stomp
Amos Moses (Jerry Reed)
The Bridge Came Tumblin’ Down (Stompin’ Tom Connors)
The Battle of New Orleans (Johnny Horton)
South Park Theme
Man in the Box (Alice in Chains)
Stayin’ Alive (Bee Gees)
Jerry Was a Race Car Driver (Primus)

Thurs night of music week is always the big night – lots of competition – nowhere else in the world would some of the shows be happening all on the same night.
Thurs night at Stubb’s is always the big deal – their always an act that could play arenas/stadiums that play to 2k or so lucky fans – (one year it was Metallica) – This year it was Lady Gaga and if you haven’t already heard, I hear it was a vomiting good time.
The long shaft of Corporate Cock stretched far with this one as for the last few years one of the biggest sponsors of the festival has been Doritos – and every year they build this FOUR STORY tall monstrosity of a replica of a Doritos vending machine that bands play beneath. So anytime you are walking around downtown during the festival you can just look up and see this Doritos monolith in the sky. It’s Ian Mackaye‘s worst nightmare.
Well this year apparently Doritos is launching a line of chips they are calling BOLD – and in order to see Lady Gaga you had to actually film yourself doing a series of pre-determined “bold challenges” and submit them and then hoped to be chosen from a lottery of other “bold challengers”. How about GALL? These sound like chips that have gall.
Ok so know it was time to head West a few blocks up to the Moody Theater where they tape Austin City Limits for the Itunes Festival. I was there to meet up with some investors for my upcoming film project and Soundgarden were having a special event.

Itunes Festival – ACL Live Moody Theater
w/ Capitol Cities
Band of Skulls
Soundgarden

First of all, I’ve never been to this new theater and let me tell you something – this is the most impressive, intimate and just overall inspired concert venue I’ve ever been in. Only holds around 3k and not a bad seat in the house – every detail seems to be to advance the patrons experience – the lights, flawless sound – stage arrangement to the cleanest facilities and an efficient, capable staff – I’m happy to report that the live music capital of the world did the right thing and got themselves the best venue for it.

I was also excited for the music – Soundgarden was celebrating a birthday The occasion was the 20th anniversary of the band’s Superunknown album, and they were gonna play it in its entirety for the first time, anywhere (not even in rehearsal as singer Chris Cornell mentioned) and some of the songs like Limo Wreck had never been played live before ever.

This was also the band’s first-ever performance at SXSW – Cornell disclaimed (if not a bit nervous..which was fun and sobering to see)  He said the band hadn’t quite managed to fully rehearse playing the album’s 15 songs in order, and warned that Superunknown’s multiple tunings meant he and guitarist Kim Thayil would change instruments with every song. Apologies hardly seemed necessary.
Cornell looked much as he always has, goateed and tightly wound, often leaning back from the mic to dig deeper into a riff. To finally hear Mailman live was a huge highlight for me.
They stuck to just playing the LP and at over an hour long that was plenty.

I had to get there early to secure my place so I saw the openers too – Synth- and horn-plenty pop group Capital Cities opened the night and convinced the crowd to do the Hustle when THEY did a cover version of the Bee Gee’s Stayin’ Alive. Again where in the world would I hear in the last 90 mins Les Claypool and now this band cover that song?
contrast, the next act, alt-rock trio Band of Skulls blasted a stripped-down sound that served a perfect bridge for the headliner.

I was seated next to this really fun, affluent couple that were buying me drinks and making me laugh all night. She was totally hot and lovely and he was a big nerd like me so we all just got on like gangbusters and had a great time. I love the commaraderie of this festival and hope its one thing that it never loses.

Ok, onward! It was now after 11pm and Matt (my host) just text me and we were hoping to have a fun night of just us and see some good Hip-Hop and though I already have had an insanely long day and it was fucking freezing outside – that night was tonight -and that time was now.

Audible Treats Showcase – Half Step
w/ Black Milk
Souls of Mischief
HIeroglyphics

That area south of the Convention Center informally known as just Rainey for its street of the same name has become my new fave area the last couple of years. Its got that undiscovered, unspoiled, newness to it and though its anything but a secret, it just feels like a row of speakeasies and bootleggers or something. It feels like your getting away from the shitshow, though its within walking distance and at times a shitshow of its own. You can tell that it won’t remain this way for long.
I get over to Half Step and bouncer dude gives a tiny bit of static but was resolved quickly enough. The show was outside – I was freezing and my feet hurt but hey Black Milk was on –

Matt showed up (in a limo somehow haha) shortly after he was done and thoughtfully brought me a sweater with a hoodie (but remember I still had my prison-issue special with dried sweat to keep me warm) bought a round of drinks and we headed to the front for Souls of Mischief/Hieroglyphics –

Hieroglyphics was of course founded by Del the Funky Homosapien and the collective is currently composed of him, Casual, Pep Love, producer/manager Domino, DJ Toure, and the four individual members of the rap group
Souls of Mischief:
Phesto
A-Plus
Opio
and Tajai.
Del being the highlight but doesn’t always perform with Hiero, in fact the last few times I’ve seen them he hasn’t been there – but we knew he was in town so we were expectant, but for some reason (and none was given) he wasn’t at this show (or any other Hiero show this week). But that’s not to say that we weren’t blessed by a special guest because if you look close in the picture above, Ali Shaheed Mohammed from A Tribe Called Quest took over for Toure the last few numbers that capped off a very fun, strong showing by the group and just fueled a great night with Matt and I even further. Good times.

Ok…so it was now 2am, I couldn’t even spell exhaustion at this point, we still had 20 blocks to go to find my car, you would think we would be done.
We were not and for once it was my idea.
After getting back to my car I heard this over-hyped band with the great name Perfect Pussy was playing on the South Lamar Pedestrian Bridge at 3am.
Some band always braves the bridge and it usually gets busted in minutes and is patroned usually by those that hang at the bridge anyway, but as Hunter S. Thompson once said, once you get locked into a serious collection of anything the tendancy is “to take it as far as you can”. Off we go –

Perfect Pussy – South Lamar Bridge

A gas generator powered the short set. –  Here there was no line, bouncer or sponsors — and, thanks to a slight bend in the bridge that kept the crowd mostly out of view, no cops, either.

Yes, once again it was THAT time of year – SXSW in Austin, TX – This being my 17th year to attend. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it – it’s just that its such a massive undertaking (especially if you are here for work like me) that will have you sleeping on a friends couch (if you get to/decide to sleep at all) enduring parking/congestion nightmares and just a horde of revellers that grows bigger and bigger every year. It’s kinda like Christmas, there’s much to look forward to and enjoy but there’s a shit-ton of work involved.
I don’t know if its because last year was such a traumatizing nightmare that this year by comparison just seemed so easy breezy, but for the most part, everything was coming up TrickyKid.
For one, the basics were squared away – Last year my automobile didn’t even make it to Austin and once we did, the real trouble began with where/who we were staying. I was also flying solo – where as I enjoyed having Jess here last year, there’s just a certain level of navigation that can be accomplished when your alone anywhere, ESPECIALLY here.
Also I didn’t over-do it – In past years I’ve come for as long as two weeks (last year was 10 days) – So this year, I just stuck to what I was committed to and anything can come as it may. It may have taken 17 years but it feels like I may have finally have this mastered (at least until next year) –
Sadly, anything that went right this year was overshadowed by a fatal accident when a mad driver ran his car through the crowd trying to evade the police. Our thoughts are with those affected by this tragedy.

Day 1 – March 12th

Ok so I pull into town on Wednesday the first “official” day of the music portion of the festival. I had planned to get here before noon but we had a pre-party in Dallas the night before so I leisurely took my time + due to traffic I didn’t get to where I was staying till after 5pm. I was staying with Matt again after a two-year hiatus due to his transitioning. He is in the same apartment but now with his wife and 2 year old child and calming (and LONG overdue) sense of domestication. That’s not to say there weren’t any hiccups but it was nice to not have to play bad cop/voice of reason the entire time. I had my own room/privacy that was respected and I just got up and went to work every morning I was there. They even had dinner waiting for me when I arrived.

I caught up briefly with Matt before he had to go to work and his wife Stephanie got me settled in and we caught up a bit before I hit the town for my first night.
I knew Ume were going to be doing a ton of shows this week but they all conflicted with other things I had going on so I thought they would be the perfect act to catch first.

Ume – The Market

Pure Luck @ ???

Until the Ribbon Breaks/Warpaint – Maggie Mae’s

A friend at Rough Trade was kind enough to leave my name at the door so I didn’t have to bother with all that badge/wristband crap that’s for suckers and people who apparently enjoy spending alot of money just to wait in line.
I’m ushered upstairs with no wait and arrive to find that its fucking freezing (around 40*) and they are running so behind that the band before them, Until the Ribbon Breaks still hasn’t gone on yet.
This information comes from the most unlikely of sources – The place is pretty sparse so I ask the person closest to me what the score was – Tommy,a tall, late 20s, red-head dude from Glasgow with an accent so thick it would be impossible for us to speak on the phone. He is hanging with another guy he just met seconds prior – Christopher, mid 20s, from Manchester.
The three of us form an instant if unlikely group and hang for the rest of the evening and it was an enjoyable one. Tommy and I were making each others sides split & Christopher, was fun too, he was much more reserved in an Englishman from Manchester sorta way.
This venue made absolutely no sense – You had to WALK ON STAGE (while the band was playing) to go to the bathroom – I looked up one time to see Tommy’s red hair and think he’s about to sing back up on his way to use the toilet.
Anyway those guys made a freezing wait a very enjoyable one –

Until the Ribbon Breaks

Had never heard of them, Tommy tells me they are from Wales and worth seeing –  who do R&B-inspired electronic grooves – not bad, but the sound was so terrible and this place really does not have it’s shit together.

It was after 1:30 am when Warpaint FINALLY started, so the show was cut short to three and a half songs until Austin’s iron-clad 2 am curfew hit.

We joked that the girls planned it this way, so that when they insisted on playing after 2am they would appear to be rebellious and defiant.
Regardless, these girls are so insanely hot that if I only got to stare at them for 15 mins it was better than nothing.

After saying my goodbyes to my new friends from the U.K I’m walking on Red River headed North when I’m stopped by what looks like a warzone ahead
At that point, I had no idea what had happened other clearly something terrible had taken place. I wanted to get back to my car safely and plug my phone in so I could find out and also to make sure those that I know are ok.

Terrible Accident

This is what I learned had happened:
Early Thursday morning, a driver fleeing police crashed into a crowd of people at the South by Southwest festival in Austin, killing two (a third later died as well sadly…and now sadly a fourth as passed as well) and injuring 23 others.
According to Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo, five of the injured are in critical condition. Acevedo said the two people killed—a man and a woman—were on a moped that the driver struck before plowing into group of people gathered outside of a club.

Police said the man pulled into a nearby gas station in a silver Toyota sedan after an officer working a drunken-driving patrol tried to stop him. He wove his way through a series of parked cars, then took off at high speed the wrong way down a one-way street. He took a right turn on Red River Street, crashing through a barricade and narrowly missing a police officer who was standing guard.

He hit some of the victims in front of The Mohawk, a local club hosting events during the five-day music conference. He continued down the street where he struck and killed the two victims on the moped and then hit the curb before finally crashing.

Just awful –

____

I found out a few days later that something cool happened in light of this tragedy:
18-year-old Mason Endres was one of 23 people injured & over the weekend, one of her favorite bands, Jared and the Mill, played a few songs at her bedside.

According to a doctor interviewed by the Austin American-Statesman, Endres suffered a number of major injuries, including a cervical spine fracture, a broken nose, a broken femur, and a severed artery in her opposite leg. The doctor also noted that Endres was concussed during the accident — in which her friend describes her as being hit “like a bowling pin” — and doesn’t remember much of what happened.

The same will not be said for this moment.

Photos –

Roy Turner
Oliver Bouchard
Ian Witlen

A week in and we still had plenty more to go – today and tommorrow are our showcases and it all finally comes to an end on Sunday ( if we survive)

Day 7 – Mar 15th

We were already off to a tempestous start – The lady who’s house we are staying at is trying to shake us down at every turn and I’m really at my boiling point with that. Next, the only place to park is across the Congress Bridge in a hotel parking garage and take the long walk over. When we get over there we see the car in front of us go through no problem. When we get up there the “attendant” says ““ok..umm..it’s..umm.. $20” – I ask why the girl ahead of us didn’t have to pay – he says “oh…umm..she’s..umm..performing across the street..” – I point to Jess and say, “So is she, now where do WE park” – he knows he’s busted and tells us where we can park. I mention this again to illustrate how we had people fucking with us for money at every turn.
On to the first showcase of the day –

Tricky-Kid/Empire Films Showcase w/ Psychic Friend, Sea Lion & more –  The Ave on Congress –

A couple of months ago I started working with Will Schwartz from the band Imperial Teen. He has a new project that he put together with Patty Schmel from Hole and also sometimes Imperial Teen called Psychic Friend who just released their debut LP on Dangerbird Records. I had booked a tour for this project and invited them to play this showcase. I also invited the band Sea Lion from my hometown of Dallas, TX to play as well.
I was happy with the venue as it was right on Congress and the stage was upstairs and outdoors so the music would be blasting to everyone regardless if they were in the venue or not.
I had been in touch with Will several times every single day for weeks so it was good to be face to face for once.
Since it was early, their wasn’t a huge turnout, maybe only 30 people or so. Jess had a friend that brought a few people and a couple of really cute girls.
Then it was Psychic Friend’s turn to play:

Critical Beatdown Discussion w/ Ced Gee of the Ultramagnetic Mc’s – Frank’s

The reason we picked Frank was for three reasons:
1) Though I don’t share it’s pork fetish I had been telling Jess about it (bacon bits on your ice cream anyone?)
2) Before tonight’s eagerly anticipated reunion show, Ced Gee of the Ultramagnetic Mc’s was going to lead a discussion.
3) We were hungry and it was next door –

We get next door and to illustrate what we were expecting this is how it was presented:

Pandora Radio Showcase w/ Eagles of Death Metal – Antone’s (outside)

Thankfully we were just around the corner when Claude texted me to tell me about this unnounced show for Pandora Radio. On the way over there we ran into Nick Oliveri and his latest lineup of Mondo Generator and were able to talk and catch up a bit. When we got there the band was already on.

Red Bull Party w/ The Ultramagnetic Mc’s, the Geto Boys & more – Gatsby’s

Ok so to unpack things a bit – this would be a show that I would have come down for just to see this – I’m a HUGE hip-hop fan and was greatly ancitipating this show. Simply the rarity of an Ultramagnetic Mc’s show (and this had to be their first Austin show) and the return of the Geto Boys whom I’ve never seen.
Those two legendary groups from hip-hop’s golden era of the late 1980’s performing together was something I was eagerly anticpating.
Jess knows nothing about hip-hop and I was surprised that she really got something from the lecture earlier, given how chaotic it was and she had sorta developed a fast crush on Ced Gee.
For those in the know, you know that the Ultramagnetic Mc’s masterpiece Critical Beatdown came out in 1988 and they broke up in the early 1990s. Of course legendary member Kool Keith went on to have one of the most prolific and most bizarre solo careers of anyone of any genre and have also recently started performing together again. I was forturnate to see their initial return at the ATP Festival in Asbury Park in 2011.
You also may know that Kool Keith is also known for some legendary dysfucntional behaviour, so it always carries a strange energy of wondering if he’s gonna show and what kinda condition will he be in if he does?
And then the Geto Boys – where do I start with these freaks? This was one for the bucket list – this was either going to be the greatest thing ever, or the biggest cluster fuck of all time. Regardless it was going to be unforgetabble.

It was almost like two shows in one as we got over to the site, the first half was a rock show, starting with some girls who live on the same street as me in Brooklyn called the Heliotropes, followed by English rockers Little Barrie.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Ultramagnetic took to the stage (sans Keith…but we counted on him making his own dramatic entrance). They hyped the crowd up with Ego Trippin & Ease Back,” then Keith made his precense felt with Poppa Large and even his alter ego Dr Octagon’s Blue Flowers –

Indiemerchstore.com Showcase w/ Clutch, Murder By Death & more – Warehouse at 1100 E. 5th St.

Ok so now we were capping the day off with some not-to-miss kinda shit – given the events of the day this was one of the better days if not the best.
If you are reading this blog you already know my long history with the Clutch organization so no need to get into all of that other than to say that naturally we would be at this show.
I’m looking for the address and when we get there I realize that this is the same no-name warehouse/barracks that was the site of the festival-closing Vice Party last year that broke into a riot because ASAP Rocky & crew were starting shit with like everyone.
Keep in mind it was still cold this week for some reason and now it was in the 40s. I find the bus and their manager, the incomparable Jack Flanagan – We have a smoke and catch up for a bit as I introduce him to Jess. They got on great and he even wished her well on her music career. Told ya she’s my lucky charm.

To unpack things a bit Clutch is currently on tour in support of their new record Earth Rocker – which was set to be released in four days from now, with Lionize and Orange Goblin as support, it’s not like they came here just to play this conference. They are doing two shows while here, tonight with Lionize and tomorrow they are playing a showcase that we partnered with Converse Shoes & Thrasher Magazine with Orange Goblin, outside and during the day.

We get inside right as Lionize takes the stage –

In the last 4 years, Lionize has largely been on the tour as well as other tours I’ve been on we seem to cross paths every few months or so, so I’ve gotten to know these guys real well. Great band and great bunch of guys and we had alot of fun catching up after they played.
This place was like an old abandoned barracks and I know there was alot of other shows going on tonight but there was like no one here – I’m serious by the time the next band was starting, their were less than 50 people here. I was shooting the shit with Sean, Clutch’s merch guy about how this seemed like the old days when I was first starting to go to Clutch shows and seem them play to under 100 people. I know that the bands didn’t come here to play to an empty room but selfishly I was really enjoying the intimacy.
While we were talking, the next band starts and I ask Sean who it is and it turns out, its Murder By Death making an unannounced, last second appearance.

 

I knew that I would be seeing the guys tomorrow and we were so tired from this long day that I just managed to say hello to Neil and chat with him for a bit before telling them all goodnight and that I would see them tomorrow. Jess and I still had to walk all the way up to Congress and across the bridge to our car, get back to North Austin and get up tommorrow and do it all again, one more time.

Day 8 – Mar 16th

Now with over a week in we were seriously burnt and today was the day of my showcase. Our host was shaking us down for everything at every turn and though we were having some amazing times, with everything that has transpired, we were soooo ready to get today over and get back to normal.
We get downtown and had to park the furterest yet way down on the East Side and walk all the way back up.

The plan was to start the day over at Stubb’s for Rachael Ray’s annual get together – Eagles of Death Metal were having one last show over there and we wanted to get a good start with a good meal catch these guys, say our goodbyes and get over to my showcase.
One thing I appeciate about this party is that is usually a no hassle, fun time and theirs always plenty of food. We head over to Stubb’s and there’s a line out the door and all the way down to the I-35 – Was she serving lobster this year? Nope – It was that Macklemore fucker once again – this line was for him. Who IS this dude?
I had no interest in bugging the staff or the band and we were hungry, so I decided to trek it back over I-35 to the east side to a place I had been wanting to check out all week promisiing free sushi. When we get there the guy out front is working us to come in and making the same promises – once inside we realize that the “free” sushi was just some hor -d’ ouerve plate being passed around with a few pieces on it and warm Lone Star to drink in this dilipated house where some punks were playing.
Again not to sound spoiled but that is just false advertising. We walk a few blocks down and find a legit Mexican place (Jess’s fave) – I text Oscar (Clutch tour mgr) to see if he wants to join but he’s busy over at the venue.
We walk in and we stand there for 20 mins with no one ahead of us and the place is not busy before we are seated and another 20 mins before we are given menus and another 30 mins before we are served. From the time we walked in till the time I took my first bite was close to an hour and a half and again they were NOT busy – and the food was mediocre at best.
The site of our showcase was two blocks away so we swung by there to check on everything before heading back to Stubb’s.

Rachael Ray’s Feedback w/ The Eagles of Death Metal & more – Stubb’s BBQ

Once we got back over there, things had died down a bit and we were let in with no problems. I try to come to this party every year and I acutally DJ’d one of the first ones she ever did when it was much smaller affair over at the Beauty Bar. Rachael Ray is a huge music fan and her husband is a swell dude and his band the Cush has toured with some of my artists in the past.
It was the right kind of vibe for the gospel sounds of the Eagles of Death Metal –

 

Converse/TrickyKid/Thrasher Magazine Death Match – The Scoot Inn

Ok so if you are familiar with me/this blog, you probably know that my company & I have a showcase every year here at SXSW called the Brawl for All.
Our 2011 event made national headlines for its unique motiff and us having the bands actually play in a boxing ring. Good times.
Well, I’ve been trying to improve on that idea and make it better each passing year. Last year we partnered with Taco Bell to moderate success but I really wanted to go bigger this year. I learned that doing it completely on my own was going to limit that severely so I figured we have the Brawl for All, Thrasher has the Death Match, why not combine them?

I liked the low-fi scenario of the Scoot Inn – its really just a a little place with a big backyard to give it that backyard BBQ party vibe.
Thrasher Magazine being a skate mag, naturally they had a skate ramp set up out back with some dudes doing some demos.

Converse being the shoe of choice for the skaters, they had bands playing inside that they were sponsoring and we were doing the outside portion all as a group effort. I don’t go for that RSVP, wristband shit – this party was to be free and all ages – everyone welcome and since it was outside to make sure there was plenty of free water for everyone to drink.

First up for our portion was Orange Goblin from the U.K. – who as I mentioned are currently on tour with Clutch.

The were really great and my first time to actually see them. One of the great things about a parntership is that I wasn’t having to run around like a chicken with my head cut off all day – I could actually watch the bands play.
Ok so now the place was really filling up and just in time before Clutch took the stage –

Setlist –

Gravel Road
Crucial Velocity
The Incomparable Mr. Flannery
The House that Peterbilt
Earth Rocker
The Face
Promoter Of Earthbound Causes
Abraham Lincoln
D.C. Sound Attack!
Electric Worry
The Wolf Man Kindly Requests…

Encore:

Cypress Grove

I thanked everyone who came and was pleased to see that Nick Oliveri had made it over and felt bad that I had missed his show when I said that I would come. He was cool about it and said that I had another chance to see them play later tonight.
I got everything squared and went to thank the Clutch guys and something took me by surprise – as I was walking up to greet Neil, I was stopped by a security guard – HIS security guard – I’ve known this band for 20 years and it was just a little strange to see Neil with a security detail, especially at this thing.
That’s not a knock on him or the band, it just took me by surprise. Neil waved him off and we talked for a bit before we cleared out.

Now it was truly all over – right then we could have just hopped in the car and rode back home, we were officially done – and I had that huge relief feeling that a 500 lb weight had just been lifted from my shoulders.

But we were here and we were gonna see this motherfucker through and go out with a bang, not to mention – unbeliebveably, Prince was in town.

Thrasher Magazine’s Midnight Massacre w/ Mondo Generator & more – Sailor Jerry’s Gypsy Lounge

I decided to keep my word to Oliveri this time that we would catch Mondo Generator tonight. They were throwing down over at a compound that Sailor Jerry had set up – It was one of the places I had been wanting to check out all week and hadn’t had the chance yet and tonight being the last night I wanted to make sure to. My buddy Igor was hired as the house photographer and Dallas native Oliver Peck who’s now on Ink Master with Dave Navarro was doling out the tattoos.

Besides the event with us earlier in the day this was Thrasher Magazine’s second event of the day. We had met some of their people today and they also extended an invitation to us to be here and wanted to make good on that as well.
The event is what you would expect when skate culture is met with tattoo culcure at an event branded by a liquor company, given the promising name of Midnight Massacre and headlined by the likes of Nick Oliveri & Mondo Generator. Metal, cute skater girls and lots of rum.

 

….and look who we ran into once again – Jesse and his girlfriend Tuesday. Oliveri had been at at least two EODM shows and was good to see them repay the support. If you can even believe it, our night actually did not end there.

Taco Bell’s Hype Hotel w/ Chk Chk Chk & more – 3rd & San Jacinto St.

Ok so were now hungry, contemplated going across town to the campus to see John Fogerty, everywhere else was on deadlock, so the solution was to go the Taco Bell branded Hype Hotel (our co-sponsors last year) to get some food and to see Chk Chk Chk one last time and let them close us out.
Though Jess really enjoyed their day show earlier in the week, I told her that she really needed to see their full power and that can usually only come in the wee hours, and also the perfect band to close us out.

We get there and are excited but I’m so tired I can barely stand – normally I think Taco Bell is gross but we needed food. Thank gawd they were giving out ear plugs because the acoustics in this warehouse made the sound bounce off everything and it would just assault you with how loud it was.
We gorged on tacos and free Miller Lite and tried to get up our energy for one last go around.
Though it was late, it seemed like we were there forever sitting through what seemed like a half a dozen really shitty bands playing 30 min sets that felt like 2 hrs.
It was a weird mix as we sat on the floor watching this slide show while these two girls who had brought their own hula hoops were kinda dueling and were waaaaay too good at it, as people behind us were getting massages from a few pros that had their gear setup. Weird mix.
Probably not the best way to get ready for a show but the stress of the week and looking at these massuees became too enticiing for Jess who also has never had a massage so I bought her one.
She probably was ready for bed after that (and gawd knows I was ready for anything but more music) – but it was time as Chk Chk Chk came roaring out.

Photos –

Roy Turner
Marv Watson
Tim Griffin
John Davisson
Nate “Igor” Smith

We wake up again to more weirdness from our host and get the fuck out of there as fast as we can. Thankfully no sign of car trouble as we head downtown for Day 6.

Day 6 – Mar 14th

We parked the car far down a street off Cesar Chavez and decided to walk up after people were offering us to park in their yards for $20 – sorry to sound cheap but I mention it to illustrate just what the vibe was like this year, just a weird gimme gimme attidtude all around. I asked Jess to remember the name of the cross streets, this would come back to haunt to me. But for now we made our way across the freeway for the MTVu Woodie Awards.

MTVu 2013 Woodie Awards – Red River & 1st st.

I’ve attended this event the last few years but only with the agenda of it as simply a stop-off for a place to relax. Loitering in the truest sense of the word, because I am only there because I know that I can get a free decent meal, plenty of free booze, use a decent bathroom, charge my phone and relax in the shade and let the branders swath me with their wares.

I don’t think I’m alone in this respect becasue the “awards” are not prestiguous and are only an after thought. In the foreground however basically all this is, is a chance to produce content that will attract advertisers and appeal to a snapshot of current youth culture. Where I think I differ is that I also usually have not only no interest in the performances but most likely have never even heard of the performers. This year was no different expect what came this year was a healthy dose of self-awareness that said that I was way too old to be there and should have known better.

Like any award show its starts off with a host or co-hosts that have been selected to give the impressoin to the viewer that this program has their finger on the pulse of current pop culture….but with an edge!
It is supposed to be the College Awards right? This
year’s edition was co-hosted by Machine Gun Kelly and Tegan & Sara.

Again the “awards” are meaningless and its just meant to film some kind of MTV Spring Break kinda special showing young people dancing in the sun to the latest overhyped acts. The very first band Jessica and I ever saw together which isn’t anything really to brag about was Atlas Genius – It was totally by proximity and at a festival and beyond that I have no interest, but because of that it kinda reminds us of one of our first dates and that’s the only reason they held our attention.

Atlas Genius

We sat through two more painful sets of “new-comers” being heardled as “the future of music” – of Alt J & Joey Baddass – like Travis Scott before him and who knows how many others, who follow a horrid current trend of replacing the “s” in their names with “$” – fucking barf. We endured it long enough to eat dessert and charge our phones which also made impossible again by the seflish of these people. One girl who identified as probably the “mean girl” of her high school given the current parlance of her hipster headband, was taking up all five spots for her and friends – like she was on phone detail and took up the whole station. Finally I unplugged one of her five phones and tossed it to her and said “this one is done”, and plugged Jess’s in.

No longer able to withstand the attitude or the shitty music and our mission of fuel-up complete we headed out and briefly entered what felt like the Twilight Zone.
I knew what our plans were for later but in the interim I had a few other ideas.
One, being around the corner from the Convention Center, I don’t know why I didn’t think to just go there to charge our phones and avoid the “Heathers” of the world and it was indoors.
However what greeted us was a seeminlgly unending string of baffling randomness:
Allow me to indulge –
Just before we enter the Convention Center we see a scammer that’s in the same vein of the people dressed as super heroes on Hollywood Blvd but tailored to Austin’s more bohemian culture as she is dressed as pulp writer, complete with fedora, dangling cigarette and old-timey typewriter – I don’t know what her scam was but I’m sure it was good.
Once inside, and I’m not kidding here – In order to charge your phone, you had to have had RSVP’d!!! – Like you must do for everything at this convention, I could make a joke like “Man, I bet you even have to RSVP to charge your phone” – and this was now a reality as well as it was one in/one out for the bathroom.

Speaking of which is where the next round of weirdness came – The boys & girls restrooms are seperated by about 20 yards and told Jess I would meet her out front of hers. After finally geting to use the restroom, I make it over to the girls’ and while waiting outside for Jess, this weirdo apporaches me – thin, late 20’s, balding & bearded, cardigan sweater – Here’s the exchange:

Creep: (softly) “Well….there he is…”
Me – “Huh?”

Creep: “…there you are…”
Me: “…huh? are you talking to me?…”
Creep: “…you said that already…”
Me: “…wait…do you know me?…”

Creep: “…I do now…”
Me: “…ummm…no you don’t…”
Creep: “…so where are we going?…”
Me: ” GO FUCK YOURSELF”

Creep: “…umm…are you sure?…”
Me: “FUCK OFF”
Creep: “…umm..ok…bye…”
Me: “FUUUUUCCCK OFFFFFFF”

Totally weird – finally Jess comes out and I tell her what just happend as we try to find an outlet for our wall charger that we brought. When we find one, I go find a couch to chill on while Jess keeps watch, and when its my turn to charge my phone, I go back to where Jess is and there is a girl dressed in like slutty rodeo gear with the long fringe in just a tube top and short shorts – I can’t resist, so I walk up to her and ask ” Is their a burlesque show happening soon?” –
She just shakes her head and says no, like whatever what make me ask that question and temporarily seemed to have forgotten what she has chosen to wear today. Right then her “boyfriend” swoops in with a huge SLR camera and says “Go ahead, get in there, I’ll take your picture” – I decline but make Jess do it – She can barely contain her laughter –

The “boyfriend” was really dissapointed that I didnt wanna be in the picture and Jess and I contended later that these two were playing some game where they enjoy the attention she gets, take pics of her with admireers and get off to it later.
We had plenty of time to discuss this as when we walked out of the Convention Center, we got turned around, and in the ultlimate dispaly of twilight zone-ness/dim bulbery as we were looking for the Doritos stage which features a 60-ft tall Doritos vending machine, we were somehow unable to find it.
More like the Bermuda Triangle as how did we suddenly lose a 6 story tall monstrosity across the street? We walked everyhwhere except right where the machine was.
What should have taken 30 seconds, took 30 minutes and started to feel like I had been drugged – when we finally did find it, we had to circle it three times just to find its entrance. Our purpose was to find out the set-times for this evening’s event – We knew what our plans were over at Stubb’s, but I was hoping that if time allowed, we could catch a bit of Public Enemy. I have seen them in Austin more than in any other city for some reason. Sadly, the streak ended as they weren’t going till much later.

OK fuck this, let’s get over to Stubb’s for the main course –

Dave Grohl’s Sound City Players w/ Stevie Nicks, John Fogerty, Rick Nielsen & more – Stubb’s BBQ – 7th & Red River

Even more so than last night, I anticipated tonight to be the ultimate shit show out front of Stubb’s – Other than the Prince show happening on Sat (which details and confirmation were still a bit hazy at this point) you couldn’t point to a bigger show with a more jaw-dropping lineup – not only this year, but few shows could be in contention with this one as being one of the biggest and most anticpated shows here ever.
And to add to the exclusivity, this was only the sixth time or so that this collabaration has performed in support of Dave Grohl’s excellent documentary Sound City – but tonight might be it’s last.
When we got there, in addition to the normal cluster fuck surrounding the entrance, their was now an added layer of a human wall of SXSW volunteers standing arm in arm like they were petitioning the Keystone Pipeline. While watching, I observed that it was the insistance of one overzealous volunteer and a few “cooler” ones refused to take part, and I thought how ridiculous…..until we actually saw some girl try to run past them mob style!

The prodcuers from the film that invited us had to reach through this human barridcade from the inside to reach for us to pull us in. Whew!
Once inside I could see that we were some of the first people in so we had no problem getting a decent place close to the stage. On the way I ran into some old Dallas pals’ – Toadies Manager Dale, and other local cronies Tony & Aden –

Opening the show were the Meat Puppets who the last time I saw, they were the openers on the last Ween tour I did back in 2010 for a brief jaunt that ended in this same building. Of the brothers Kirkwood, I know that Kurt has lived here for a long time and do I really need to mention their linage with Dave Grohl and Nirvana?

Setlist:

Set 1
w/ Alain Johannes:

A Trick With No Sleeve (Sound City Soundtrack)
Why (Eleven)
All My Friends (Eleven)
Hangin’ Tree (Queens of the Stone Age)
Reach Out (Eleven)

Grohl would excuse each person by expressing the sincerest of gratidtudes to them, hugging them and re-introducing them before bringing out the next guest. And next up was a freaking doozie – it seemed surreal when he said her name, and just like that, out walked Stevie Nicks.

Set 2
w/ Stevie Nicks

Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around (duet w/ Dave Grohl)
Dreams (Fleetwood Mac)
You Can’t Fix This (Sound City Soundtrack)
Landslide (Fleetwood Mac – acoustic w/ Dave Grohl)
Gold Dust Woman (Fleetwood Mac)

Next up Grohl introduces Chris Goss from Masters of Reality and Brad Wilk from Rage Against the Machine who took over on drums. Again this may seem like filler but I liked how important it was to Grohl that they be here. Also for a Kyuss fanatic like me having Goss in the house who produced more than a few of their albums, the last one also being at Sound City, was awesome. And now we were gonna hear some Masters of Reality with Brad Wilk taking the place of the legendary Ginger Baker.

Their were more than a few people around me asking me who they were etc and I was more than happy to fill them in. We had met Wilk the night before with Dave Catching & crew at the Nick Cave/Yeah Yeah Yeah shows and he was totally cool. That first Rage LP was recorded not only at Sound City, but unbeliebably it was done live.

Set 3
w/ Chris Goss & Brad Wilk

She Got Me (Masters of Reality)
It’s Shit (Masters of Reality)
Time Slowing Down (Sound City Soundtrack)
Domino (Masters of Reality)
The Blue Garden (Masters of Reality)

The show really had a last-day-of-summer camp feel and has he thanked Goss & Wilk as they were leaving the stage, he brings out his next guest. Keep in mind we knew who was billed, and have seen the movie and heard the soundtrack and know who’s on it, but as far as how this was going to be presented/executed we had no idea. It really felt like it was Dave Grohl’s teenage record collection coming to life – It just goes to show you what good people do with their money. Some people have car collections and are on MTV Cribs flaunting their wealth, and then you have guys like Jack White and all the good things he does with his Third Man Records collective and guys like Dave Grohl making this kinda magic happen.
You can tell that he does not take this for granted which only made it all the more enjoyable. The look of glee as he brought out his next guest Lee Ving of Fear was palpable to the entire event itself.

Ving started out playing some fierce harmonica and praising the city of Austin and threatehening to move back here soon, before the punk took off with his tradeamark “1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4!!!” and went into the original song from the soundtrack before rolling out the great Fear punk classics. Brad Wilk who had just left the stage stuck around hanging on the sidelines singing every word.

Set 4
w/ Lee Ving

Your Wife Is Calling (Sound City Soundtrack)
I Love Livin’ in the City (Fear)
Gimme Some Action (Fear)
Beef Bologna (Fear)
Foreign Policy (Fear)
I Don’t Care About You (Fear)

We are 21 songs in and Grohl reminds us that their is so much more coming. Probably the most out of place performer on the bill was the next guest for which Grohl acknowleged it in his introduction by saying “Our next guest is probably the last person you would see replacing Lee Ving onstage, but ladies and gentlemen (as he takes the stage) THAT is Rick FUCKING Springfield, YOUR WELCOME” –

Set 5
w/ Rick Springfield

The Man That Never Was (Sound City Soundtrack)
I’ve Done Everything for You (Sammy Hagar cover)
Love Is Alright Tonight
Love Somebody
Jessie’s Girl

Besides finally getting to see Stevie Nicks of course the next one-two punch was probably my favorite moment of the evening (and yes we were far from over).
Rick the Springfield was now being replaced by Rick the Nielsen of Cheap Trick fame. Grohl also introuduces Krist Novoselic to the stage to much fanfare as now with Pat Smear, every living member of Nirvana is now on stage. I get that as the logical choice, but however on the soundtrack this lineup was rounded out by my man Scott Reeder from Kyuss on bass and I would have liked to have seen him make an appearance as well.
Then Grohl calls out Corey Taylor from Slipknot whose music I am not a fan of but everyone seems to like this dude, everyhwee I go.
Foos drummer Taylor Hawkins comes down from the drum riser to sing as well leaving Grohl to ask “Ok so we need a drummer” giving the obvious implication that he was going to fill the spot.

Starting with the usual Cheap Trick set opener Hello There, I was now offiically losing my shit and going crazy! – Taylor sharing vocals with Hawkins turned out to be a bit tepid affair as apparently they had done some shows without Taylor that he jokingly lamented onstage and I guess Hawkins took his place, but now having to share vocals should have kept the fun vibe going but Hawkins was taking it waaaay too seriously and clearly enjoying his brief run up front and not wanting to share – even Taylor kinda threw his hands up at one point as if to say “Ok dude if you want to sing karaoke this bad, it’s all yours” –

This was still the most fun portion of the night and everyone was going crazy – It was fun to see Nielsen tease Corey Taylor and express other perfectionist quirks that surely annoyed the other performers. I was annoyed at Novoselic as he seemed embarassed to be there and when Nielsen gathered everyone for an old school bow at the end, he refused to participate. THIS GUY was embarassed? –

He was wearing a wide brim floppy hat with a chin string and bright baggy women’s clothing on his almost 7 ft tall frame but yet was too cool for Rick Nielsen.

Set 6
w/ Rick Nielsen, Corey Taylor, Krist Novoselic

Hello There (Cheap Trick)
Stiff Competition (Cheap Trick)
I Want You to Want Me (Cheap Trick)
From Can to Can’t (Sound City Soundtrack)
Ain’t That a Shame (Fats Domino cover)
Surrender (Cheap Trick)

Over 30 songs and 3 hours in and we still had one more to go! – When at last Grohl welcomed John Fogerty to the stage. Always awkward as Fogerty is, when he walked up to the mic and did the opening rap to Travelin’ Band all bets were off, if he could still do this – he killed.

When they went into the intro of Born on a Bayou, Grohl could not contain his giddiness and closed his eyes and threw his head back and appeared to be having a orgasm, you see the chills on his arms across the venue, it was magical. Not lost on Fogerty either as he said that one of the main motivating factors for his participation was “The look of pure joy this kid gets on his face when he’s playing my songs”. We all had a similar look tonight.

Set 7
w/ John Fogerty

Travelin’ Band (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Born on a Bayou (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Centerfield
Keep on Chooglin’ (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Bad Moon Rising (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Proud Mary (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Fortunate Son (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

“It’s my life’s greatest gifts that I get to call up these people who I consider heroes and have them come onstage and jam with me,” were Grohl’s parting words among a million thank yous to everyone and to the crowd. Most impressive was Grohl himself, who remained on stage, without a break, for over three hours. He led the band, played every instrument (guitar, bass, and drums), sang on most every song, and MCed between sets. “He’s a national treasure!” exclaimed Chris Goss. It’s hard to disagree.

So what is there to do after this – I think I’m good for the rest of the festival. We started walking back towards the car that was several miles away and since it was on the way, we stopped off at the Scoot Inn, the site of where our showcase will be this Saturday.

Wu Tang Party w/ Ghostface Killah, U-God, & more – Scoot Inn – 145 4th St.

So if you can even believe it that we were still going but only briefly – If this venue wasn’t literally close to the street where we parked, on the way and I didn’t wanna check in on the venue where we were having our showcase, we wouldn’t be here at all. Also as much as I love Wu-Tang and hip-hop its no secret how bafflingly dysfuntional they are and you never know what your going to get. But I’m happy to report that they were kicking ass and too bad that I was too tired and spent after what I had just seen to really care.

We stayed for a few tunes and I spoke with some of the staff about Saturday before heading to find the car. I love Jessica to death but when I asked her to remember the cross-streets the streets she committed to memory run parallel – How the fuck were we gonna find the car, this late, in the middle of the night?
– Thankfully we were finally able to locate it without too much trouble and get the fuck out of there.

Stay tuned for the final installment!!

Photos –

Roy Turner
Dana Yavin
Taylor Weese
Miharu Kato

Ok so we woke up very early today on very little sleep with lots of anticipation. First and foremost we were returning the car Mr. Bailey so generously dontated to us and finally picking mine back up and somehow after 5 days getting back to some type of normalcy. For Jessica, it was all about today – today we were meeting Nick Cave & seeing him perform later tonight and seeing all the bands she wanted to see in between, today is her day. Lastly for me was also the first of our many showcases this year, this time with IFC & Psychic Friend so I wanted things to go well.

Day 5 – Mar 13th

So we left the house early at like 9am after going to bed at 4am – We get to the dealership and here is where things are going to get even stranger. They had called me and told me that they only thing wrong with the car was that I needed a new battery – Huh? After seven hours that Bruce guy over at the place in Georgetown couldn’t decipher that the reason why the car wasn’t properly charging was it was because I need a NEW FUCKING BATTERY?? –
Ok, so what about the alternator it was clearly shot? – Did Bruce put on a brand new alternator and didn’t charge us?? Lots of questions.

Ok so we pick up the car and I had no reason to complain but since when did a new battery cost $250? – I didn’t question it- we had gotten out of Bruce’s for nothing, managed to miss two towing fees, received a free rental car and now we were finally getting mine back – I wasn’t gonna rock the boat.

We get into my car, and drive off into the sunset, aching to finally be free of this nightmare. All that we had been through and all the stuff that was still going on daily at Cecilia’s, I had the mind to go get our stuff and head for home right then and say fuck the rest of the week, biz, everything. At the same time we had been through so much to give up now and this was Jess’s day so onward me marched.

You had to take a long exit North before you could begin to head South once again and once we were on the freeway I cranked the stereo on just in time to hear Aerosmith’s Back in the Saddle – cheesy but appororiate – and we were headed for Round Rock Donuts, a place I’ve taking up since Jess and I have met and she’s never had them – so as we are approaching our donut victory celebration right as we are exiting to glory, the fucking battery light in car comes on – I wanted to puke – when will this ever end?? – I had a mechanic work on it for 7 hours, and then took it to the fucking dealership & THEY can’t fix it? –
I just wanted today to be great and get back to normal and now I’m right back to where we started with constant worry.
I wasn’t gonna let that stop us – I was getting Jess to the things she came for –

Waterloo Records SXSW Party w/ performances & signings from Nick Cave, Tegan & Sara and many more – Waterloo Records – 6th & Lamar St.

I was afraid to turn the car off as I feared that once I did, it wasn’t gonna start again. I called the dealership immediatley asking wtf? and all that said was, “Oh than it must be the alternator” – Did we have a new alternator or not?? – I asked them how long we could go and he said not long. A more mature man would have drove straight to a body shop – I instead drove to a record store – The right woman will do that to ya –

I drop her off so she could get in line to meet Nick Cave – sure we were acting like teenagers but this was her thing and I just felt like we needed to be redeemed.
I take on the task of trying to park and I seriously circled the same 6 blocks for half an hour when she calls me to tell me that she had to buy something from the store in order to participate in the signing but her ID and stuff was with me – so I drove back to the store – handed them to her and after driving around some more, resigined myself to a spot I knew of way across South Congress Ave & walked the almost two miles back.

It was hot as shit and that long walk and the stress left me drenched when I finally made it back to the store. While she was in line we saw a bit of Thurston Moore’s new band Chelsea Light Moving –

Pretty decent and we had Moore on our minds after seeing Residual Kid yesterday and they covered the song 100% – and the 14 yr old singer was dressed and had his hair cut just like Thurston’s.

After an hour or so she comes bursting out of the record store more animated and smiling bigger than I’ve ever seen her – I wish we could say that she met him socially at an event as compared to meeting him formally at a signing, but she didn’t care and with her beaming smile, it all seemed worth it
Next up was one of the band’s she wanted to see most Tegan & Sara –

They were perfect for the mood we were in and on such a bright shiny day. I coudln’t believe how many people were here to see them, but as we were leaving right after they finished, I got a full education on something.
Not only were their fuck all people inside the little outdoor gated area where they performed as we were walking out we almost got knocked down by the twice as many people that were trying to get in. – Who was next that they wanted to see so bad? – Here came the answer and it put something in our vernacualr that I wish could have left as soon as it entered – They were all their to see something or somone called Macklemore & Lewis – and just like that – that name was inescapable.

We walked all the way from Waterloo Records down to Red River to a place called Swan Dive and then I had an Aha! moment as this place was next door to Barbarella where we were for last night’s exhibitionist shananingans (see last entry) – and I realized that this place was the old Barbarella and they just moved it next door. We were here to see a band from Austin called Ume – They came to NYC last Summer with my old pals the Toadies and just totally ripped my head off – They were hands down the best rock show I saw last year and I was very excited to see them again.
We were early and I had to get to a pre-production meeting for tonight’s showcase so I planted Jessica there while I ran to my meeting just as a couple of the guys from Midlake were doing some acoustic  thing –

The only thing I know about Midlake is that they are from Denton where I once lived, the actor Jason Lee has some odd obsession with them and lastly that I don’t give a single fuck about them.
I returned right in time as Ume was starting their set –

Not as effective as the show I saw last summer (but what could have been?) and singer/guiarist Lauren Larson seemed a bit winded from probaly doing a dozen shows in the last few days, not to mention it was riddled with sound problems that were beyond the band’s control so I didn’t feel like I got my fix but Lauren told us after they were playing like 5 more times so I thought we would try again before we leave.
Now it was time to head back over to Rainey St. once again.

Filter/Macbeth Footwear Party – w/ Chk Chk Chk –  Lustre Pearl – Rainey St.

We get over to Lustre Pearl, this is a really neat place that just’s an old wooden home turned into playhouse with full bar and a stage in the backyard, very Austin. Now matter what, you never leave the feeling that your in someone’s house which is cool and initimate.
As we are getting our drinks, this being a Filter Magazine Party I see a copy of the magazine and right on the cover I see our new friends Macklemore & Lewis.
I was dissaointed, they looked like gay hairdressers and so we You-Tubed one of their videos and could barely get through the sea of cheese.
For all its Keep Austin Weird vibe, people forget that this is a huge college mecca and the people that are respoinsible for why 6th st gets blocked off on any typical Sat night isn’t the cool indie kids, it the hard drinking, hard partying fratty college types and that’s who’s been clogging the line to see this Mackelmore charachter.
I can hear Chk Chk Chk starting in the back so we make our way out there – Jessica has never heard of this band and has no idea what to expect –
I however know these guys personally and totally know what’s coming which is ample and we are excited.

After a chaotic and largely unsuccessful soundcheck the band just kinda threw their hands in the air and decided to start the show regardless. Singer Nic came charging out in boxer shorts that boasted the album cover to the Rollings Stones’ Some Girls LP, dancing up a storm in his own style that we have come to expect that is awesome.

He sang the entire first song through the MFC distorter along with his hilarious posing and contortions, but I have to say that and his always side-splitting between song commentarry was the only thing that propelled the show and kept its momentum. This band is always fun but you should def see them at night – secondly they used to tour with this girl Shannon who hits that awesome pre-chorus on arguably their most well-known song Heart of Hearts – in the last few years they have been performing without her. Just as I was telling this to Jessica, a girl appeared onstage that looked like Shannon so I was excited.
However, it was not Shannon but local Austin singer, who did not fare or carry an ounce of the power that Shannon does.
We still danced, laughed and had a great time, but I’ve seen this band literally kill consistently:
Their after-show at Emo’s from ACL a few years ago remains as one of the best shows I sitll have ever seen. So when you raise the bar that high so do expectations.

By now it was after 6pm and Jessica’s anticipation for the Nick Cave show in a few hours was growing to a fever pitch. We decided to head on over there and get an early look at the scene.

NPR.org Showcase w/ Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs & more – Stubb’s – 8th & Red River

We get over there 90 mins before show time and as expected, its already a total shitshow. With good reason but also in the spirit of one-up-manship.
This was the first time Nick Cave was touring the U.S. with the Bad Seeds in over 10 years and tonight was opening night.
If that wasn’t enough to cause a frenzy, then they decided to stir the pot by adding the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to the bill – Making their first performance in four years.
Both bands could sell this place out easily and together and with that kinda prestige, not to mention the compettive nature of people wanting in, even if they are not that into the bands, but they know that this is one of, if not the most anticapted event of the festival so now they gotta get in, made it riotous outside.
Potentially releiving the line of some punks with a decission to make, but certainly adding to the overall chaotic atmosphere (as well as a testament to what this festival was like this year) was that Iggy Pop & the Stooges were playing across the street at the Mohawk, a tiny place they could fill 30 times over.

So as we walking into the Valley of the Dueling Exclusive events,  I wanted to give the staff a break with what they were dealing with out front so we decided to go eat and come back.
When we do, though it was even more insane and I’m grateful to say that the staff spots me and we are ushered in like royalty.
Very cool and hospitality that I do not take for granted –

So now we are in, and not a moment too soon because though it was annoucned as:

Opening Act –
Nick Cave –
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Right at the stroke of 8pm while still light out even, the first act is Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – we had been inside all of three minutes.
So us and other startled people who thought they had time all lunged forward –

Nick Cave in the light of day is kind of a shocking site, and he knows it as he declared  “We’re going to begin with a long song and hopefully by the end it’ll be DAAARK,” with intentional hilarity as well as effectiveness. Gazing down at the audience with a death stare, he cued the band into as promised, the long dirge Higgs Boson Blues, from the band’s post-Grinderman return Push the Sky Away.

The last little sliver of sunlight didn’t hinder his well-honed, iconic creepiness. He was hovering over the crowd like a praying mantis by the first song’s end, making gestures of controlled rage while his band swelled like a locust swarm behind him. The tune (which should be noted for its lyrics about Hannah Montana doing the African Savannah) set the tone for an unrelenting, undeniably captivating 10-song tour de force of sonic terror.

“It’s dark!” Cave happily proclaimed as night finally fell. “It’s a dark song,” he said of Jubilee,another menacing new cut that featured dissonant fiddle work from  multi-instrumental savant, Warren Ellis. Drummer Thomas Wydler tribally matched the frontman’s mounting rage by speeding up the tempo with each of the song’s movements until it finally exploded in an ear-splitting, jaw-dropping crescendo.
Cave brought each lyrical, musical horror film to life. In the process, he probably set a record for the largest modern-day SXSW audience to go a full set without looking at their cell phones.
I knew nothing of Nick Cave really before this set – other than minor pedestrian things – I knew his status, that he was Australian, linked to PJ Harvey awhile back and that he was intense, that and he’s my girlfriend’s favorite performer. I tease her about the fact that I saw Nick Cave, albeit unworthy of so, 20 years ago at Lollapalooza, that time also in the daylight. But after this performnace I totally get it, – I will probably never have hit catalog memorized but this show was toally captivating, and the most animated I’ve ever seen Jessica. Good times.

Naturally we assumed the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were next and though neither one of us are what you would call a committed fan, it would have been a crime not to check it out while we had the option, escpically since they were so many people outside who did not.
Instead of the Yeahs, in an exceptionally odd pairing, Cafe Tacuba followed Cave with their choreographed gestures, guitar faces, smiles and overall indomitable positivity, not to mention an unforgivably long set-up time.

I had seen Cafe Tacuba about 10 years ago at Coachella totally by accident and they were fantastic so I was excited to see them again. I should also mention that this was the band Cecilia had been bothering me about getting her into see at some point during the festical and so I devilishly was kinda savoring the irony that we were seeing them by accident.
After the first two songs I started to wonder if that band I saw 10 years ago at Coachella was this band, or that I had it wrong because this was at times fucking unbearable. I had to run over to the IFC house anyway for one our groups/ Psychic Friend’s showcase and then comeback anyway.

When I returned, it seemed that the entire festival was outside trying to get in here – That’s when I considered the hipster factor – their was alot of love for Nick Cave but this was why the Yeahs were going on after, not before.
I slip back in just as they are starting –

Karen O made her entrance (and quite an entrance it was) bearing light. Literally. Nearly blinded, and definitely startled, the audience when she crashed the stage sorta resembling George Clinton as the spotlight hit her sparkling cape, headband and bedazzled sunglasses.
This is a good band and I will always be grateful to their drummer Brian for loaning us his drums on several Amandla tours over the year. Speaking of Claude/Amandla, Claude is now the drummer for the Eagles of Death Metal who are doing several shows during the conference, the first of which was right after this show.
Dave Catching & BOC from EODM came over to watch The Yeahs, (the venue they were playing, was just around the corner) – and we met up with them and was pleased to be introduced to Brad Wilk from Rage Against the Machine. He came over early as well, in town for a show tommorrow night with Dave Grohl’s Sound City Players. Claude and Jesse were still over at the other venue.
Brad is also married to Selene Vigil, who was the singer for 7 Year Bitch, one of my all-time faves – she released a solo record last year that was really good, if you haven’t heard it, check it out here –
Anyway, we left with Catching and co. to get over to their show and to meet up with Claude.

Craveonline Party w/ the Eagles of Death Metal – Rusty’s – 405 E 7th St.

One of the funniest of the rumors of huge bands/playing tiny places was that Phish was going to be playing this showcase as a special guest. I joked with Claude that ever since they covered a Ween tune a few years back that he just can’t get away from jam band hippies. I even jokingly suspected Jesse as the one who started the rumor, which would have been genius as even if they were/were not there to see them, when we got over to the venue the line was stretched around the block.
We squeezed into a side door with the band and finally found Claude. We didn’t have much time to catch up before it was time for them to go on.

I was so exhausted by the time they went on that my ability to retain any more music had expired about two days ago, but they were fun as always and it was great catching up with everyone etc. We did meet Jesse’s super rad girlfriend Tuesday, who also plays bass in his solo band and hosts an awesome podcast on his Boots Electric Internet Radio station called Envy the Dead – She’s also an adult performer and was quite the charachter.

We finally had to start making it back to the car after 2am – A long walk to Congress Ave and even longer across that fucking bridge. I wasn’t sure the car was even going to be there when we arrived nor what state it was going to be in if it was. Thankfully, it was there and started up with no problems and we made it back after another long, weird and winding day.

Photos –

Roy Turner
Jessica Pardee
Chrissy Mauck
Stefan Berg

We awoke to Day 4 still shaking our heads from the baffling dysfunction of the past few days and that their was a new car in the driveway for our use free of charge. I messaged Mr.Bailey and asked if it would be ok if we returned the car only after we had heard from the dealership and of course he said ok. We didn’t hear from them before I had to get downtown for biz.

Day 4 – Mar 12th

Of course now that we were properly dressed, now the sun was out and now that we actually had a car, I was really privy to just how bad the parking situation was/had gotten. Believe it or not (due to our early start time) we managed to find a spot without too much trouble before heading to our first event of the day.

Vintage Clothing Arcade – Valhalla 710 Red River

The reason why we were here was to catch up with the Death Set, some old friends of mine and who will forever be synonomous with TrickyKid and SXSW after our 2011 boxing ring event made headlines worldwide. When we got there however there had been a schedule change and the Death Set were no longer appearing at this event. We had some time to kill and I was still waiting to hear from the car dealership so we decided to stay put and that was a wise choice for a number of reasons.
Not only was this place crawling with hot girls everywhere, the bartender recognized me and were giving us free Heineken, I could get phone reception and actually hear when the dealership did call – They said that the car would be ready by 5pm today but there was no way we would make it in time. So I scrambles to secure that it would be ok to return the rental in the morning and pick up our car then as well. Yes was said to both – ok cool now we can relax.
Another reason was it gave us a chance to experience what SXSW was originally and supposed to still be about and that’s discovering brand new music that you didn’t know existed two seconds prior and our fist taste of it came in the form of a local group of young, young Nirvana/Sonic Youth obsessed locals called Residual Kid –

They were exactly what this festival is supposed to be about – The real deal – It was so enjoyable to watch them – Not just because of the novelty that they were so young but because they were so good. It was odd but refreshing to see that Nirvana & Sonic Youth have become Classic Rock to a new generation and that these guys look to these bands they way we did to bands that came before us like Led Zeppelin etc. It was just weird to think that stuff I listened to that was current when I was in High School is being looked at that way i.e. I’m old – but probably not by everyone- you could tell that these were the coolest kids in 6th grade with supportive musical parents. One of the kids was even wearing a t-shirt from fellow local Austin rawkers and former TrickyKid alumni the Blind Pets.

We still had some time so we stuck around when Jess discovered that Japanther was playing. Keep in mind she has no idea who is playing this festival at all.
All she knows is that Nick Cave is playing tomorrow and she wanted to spend her Spring Break with me – other than that she is blindly following/trusting me from event to event, so this was a good chance for her to see something unexpected that she enjoys.

I’m a good boyfriend so I tolerated it but man do they suck – They are all that I don’t like – Sure I appreciate the two-man lo-fi DIY attack and all, but they have zero songs and ultimately I just don’t give a fuck. Soon we made our first of seveal trips over to Rainey St. The more enjoyable bastard cousin of 6th St.

Reepherbahn Burgers Party w/ Bonaparte – German Haus – Icenhauer’s – 83 Rainey Street 5-8pm

Ok so in an increasingly weird trip that was only getting weirder, we trekked over to Rainey St which is on the other side of the convention center. Its must less stressful over there. We were going to meet up with some German film makers, musicians & tech people I know/wanted to speak with from my years of working with Peaches/Sweet Machine. We get over there and they were being a little tight with the list but I pulled Jessica in and starving we made our way to the buffet.
It was beautiful day and we were starting to enjoy better times, they had Stella flowing and free German burgers. I ran into my old pal & DJ Cohort, Eric Castillo from Houston and its always good to see him. We are eating and laughing in this awesome courtyard outback when this dude takes this little makeshift stage and started spouting shit that remained in our vernacular for the rest of the trip and perhaps our lives. That’s not necessarily a good thing depending on if your asking me or Jessica –

He was performing under the name Bonaparte, just him and a guitar but after Jessica forced me to Google him it’s clear now that he came alone with no equipment for expense purposes but in his videos he’s performing a surreal, and especially grating type of German techno pop. Jessica absolutely loved it and wouldn’t shut up about him for the rest of the trip – especially after he delivered this little gem describing the song Computer in Love as “a gloryhole to the universe” –
We were screaming laughing and we were well overdue for a laugh – clink on the link and you will see what I mean, however I think there are probably alot of people in Europe who take this very seriously.

I almost started screaming in a less whimishcal way, when we were talking with the documentary film makers when out of the blue Jessica blurts out my idea for my first film that I’m currently in pre-productiuon on – She didn’t tell it to a gas station attendant in Dubuque, Iowa – she told it to a documentary film maker at one of the biggest FILM FESTIVALS on the planet!! –

I was about to feed her to Bonaparte for this and have him take her back to Germany with him (though the way she was looking at him, I think she not protest too much) – On to the Fader Fort!

The Della and Intel preview event w/ Matt & Kim – the Fader Fort – I35 & 5th st.

Ok so the Fader Fort is this little sanctuary right across from the freeway that is easily the most popular destination of the conference and has been for the last few years. For one it spells status to young people as Fader Magazine and its co-sponsor Levi’s do a pretty good job of towing the line with new acts and surprise established acts making appearences. For the younger set, this is the place to be – plus it had unlimited free beer, water, shade, internet bar, nice bathrooms and a place to charge your phone and sit down and all sorts of things.
Oddly I forgot to RSVP this year and it didn’t really matter because their wasn’t anyone I really wanted to see besided the Afghan Whigs reunion happening on Friday that was happening at the same time as something I wanted to see greater.
Ironically I got an invitation to an even at the Fader Fort that was happening a day before the Fader Fort opened – so your FF wristband wouldn’t have got you into this anyway. It was a preview event for Della and Intel with entertainment being provided by Matt & Kim who are very Fader Fort-y and I’ve seen them here a bunch of times at the Fort. In fact, I am not what you would call a committed Matt & Kim fan though I never regret attending their shows as they are always so fun, but thanks to SXSW I have seen this band seriusly over 35 times (that and living in Brooklyn for the past 7 years) because they will come here and play 15 times and you will end up seeing them like 4 times without even trying.
This was only event that I knew of that they were doing and it was a private event –
The results are clearly joyous, but it’s a little disheartening to see how much they rely on a laptop to cue up backing tracks. At one point it broke, so the set stalled, prompting Kim to tell a story of SXSW drunkeness from the band’s past. We first saw them at a small lot party back at SXSW 2006. No laptop was needed then to rock the crowd.

VEVO TV Control Room w/ Haim – 304 w 4th St

So our next order of business was to meet up with some potential advertisers at Vevo and so we set sail for where they had set up camp and ran into not one but two fellow nerds that share my even nerdier tattoo of a certain 80s military force.
After waiting in line for what seemed like an eternity we finally are let in, but not before getting to enjoy watching Shephard Fairey finish up one of many murals he had designed throughout the festival – This one has good subject matter:

They had a nice little setup in a large, spacious courtyard that had tiki torches, free booze and a DJ – looked like Miami, except it didn’t feel like Miami as it was freezing outside. Four days in and all the stress I was starting to feel the burn of SXSW. In past years four days was my entire visit, have no idea why I signed up for 9 this year.

I went inside to use the restroom and I saw a crew striking a tiny stage in the corner with a few people standing around it. Since the space outside was so large and there were so many people here I assumed they band was playing outside but when asked I was told they were playing inside.
Now I had never heard, nor even heard of this band, but I heard that their were some cute girls in it so fuck it. I was also quite sure that the “their playing inside” thing was not common knowledge and their was no way all these people were gonna fit into that tiny room. So I went and retrieved Jess and told her that if we hoped to have any chance to see this band we must get our asses in there now.
It must have seemed we were their biggest fans since we were standing so close to this tiny little stage that by the time people caught wind like we did it pushed us up right against it.
After being cramped and waiting forever for Haim, a band that we don’t know and getting irritable, finally the band takes the stage and suddenly I’m in Jewish Girl heaven.

As they were starting this obnoxious English girl steps on everyone to get to the front sets her purse down on the amp next to Jess and tells her to watch it for her as she stumbles back to the bar for more booze. This kept happening without any consideration for anyone about every 20 mins for the rest of the night until I thought Jess was gonna murder her and this was only after this specific type of Eurotrash that I’ve sadly dealt with many times before was screaming every lyric right behind our ears and that was only when she wasn’t taking hundreds of pics of herself the whole time.

But on the other side of the stage was this group of young lesbian woman that were fanatical – and seriously crying the whole time! It was like watching the Beatles, the crowd was exploding! Who the fuck were these girls?

What we learned from the show was that they were three Jewish sisters from Los Angeles who had been different configurations of bands before (together & separate) until they formed this band together. However, their first album isn’t even out yet – how have they stirred up THIS much hysteria??
I found myself caught up in it – sure they were attractive, but not like knuckle-biting hot, but the way they moved, especially the keyboardist/guitarist and they played so well that they whole thing was incredibly hot and totally entertaining. I found myself looking for their videos when I got home and they didn’t really do anything for me, but live they were fucking kick ass and one of the best things we saw the entire festival and one of the most talked about.

The Glitoris Party – Barbarella – 7th & Red River St.

Ok so the end of the evening had nothing to do with SXSW, it was more of a gift to Jessica for putting up with me and my schedule all day and go do something that had nothing to do with business that she would enjoy. Quite frankly I was tired and we had to return this car first thing in the morning and keep in mind this was the first time since we have been here that we knew we had a stable ride home and I was determined to get it back to Mr.Bailey in one piece for his kindness.
Jess however was raring to go to this party after all the bullshit and I can’t say that I blame her.
Ok so let’s unpack things a bit here:
The party we were going to had a vulgar title of the Glitoris Party – some kind of sexy, fetish dance party with a LGBT twist – right up Jessica’s alley.
She didn’t know anything of it, I found it as something I thought she would enjoy.
The party was being held at Barbarella, my fave dance place in Austin – my friend Matt and I would come here every Sunday night when I’m in town for their awesome 80s night – We brought Claude here one Sunday that happened to be his birthday and had one of the best times ever. Some of my fave memories of Matt are here, I hadn’t seen Matt since last year and almost as if he saw us, while we were in line I get a text asking where I am. I tell him we are in line at Barbarella and to get his ass down here and he tells me that he’s already inside – perfect. Except my phone died liked 30 secs later.
Matt’s a bit of a hustler and when I plugged my phone in when I got home their were several messages from him, claiming himself as such as how we didn’t have to stand in line and he could get us right in etc.
That would have come in handy for several reasons but I will get to that in just one sec –

First things first – Another reason that Jessica was looking so forward to going to the party (and certainly a motivator for me as well) is that for laughs one thing we enjoy doing is playing super slut dress up with her – She’s such a mild, meekish girl that the irony is fun, daring and we get alot of laughs from it and its also totally hot. We had just purchased the sluttiest thing we could find in the store for this very party while doubled over with laughter when we bought it. This outfit was pretty ridiculous and I wasn’t sure that their was any reality to her actually wearing it.
I gave her several outs but she insisted so that meant going back to the car so she could change clothes.
While she’s changing into this getup in the backseat, the most unlikeliest of creepers appeared: Sure she was getting the occasional odd look from passersby that was wondering what she was up to, but those of course like most creepers were gross old dudes or fratty douchebags.
However this young, attractive, girl walks up to the car, starts talking to me through the windshield, then opens the passenger door and gets in the freaking car, maintaining some bullshit conversation that was clearly an excuse to get a better look at Jess in the backseat! – Don’t most Penthouse letters begin like this?

Finally I guess the girl lost her nerve and got out of the car and left – weird. It kinda shook me up and when Jess got out of the car as Slut Woman – I was actually nervous as shit about the expected attention. Normally I love it and don’t know why I turned into such a pussy –
We still had to cross under I35 with her in this getup and let me tell you that was only the beginning of the attention this was causing.

Horns honking like it was a symphony and people making zero attempt to hide their shock or approval – this was also all happening right in front of the Police Station – I started to worry if we were breaking the law, I’m telling you I turned into the biggest fag – I wasn’t even wearing the outfit and I was terrified!
Jess was loving every second of it bless her and with every whistle her smile got wider.
When we get to Barbarella, theirs a line 30 people deep – Is their a line to everything in this town?
This is when Matt’s help would have came in handy, but as I mentioned above, my phone died.
While we are waiting in line Jess, just standing there without saying a word is causing a scene – woman are shouting their approval, men are declaring their lust, their a whole gaggle of people walking back and forth trying to appear that they are not doing this simply to stare at her.
Ok, she looks good and this shit is skimpy but this is ridiculous – that’s when I look down and see why –
Jess has zero girl training so it doesn’t come natural for her to wear things below her hips, in fact she raises them high like an old man would and I look down and see that you can see her entire ass – I started dying laughing but also wondered had we taken this too far.
That answer came almost instantly as this hopelessly sloshed Rastafarian dude was perusing the crowd saw Jess and made a beeline for her –
As if I wasn’t even standing there he puts his arm around her and tried to lead her away, she looks at me with a look of terror – so I pick her up literally off the ground and move her behind me but this dude won’t let go of her arm so I ended up having to smack this dude in the mouth till he let go.

This was no longer hot nor funny – this was now stressful and unnecessary and also 1am –
We agreed that after all this we should go inside at least so we finally get in and I realize that they moved Barbarella next door as this was not the same bar it had been – This place was so unbelievably packed that it made dancing impossible and a fire hazard nightmare. The attention continued even from the gays – she was a hit and I wanted her to enjoy it –

Photos –

Roy Turner
Chona Kasinger
Jessica Lehrman