WWE Hell in A Cell 2014 (Dallas)
For those keeping score tonight is our 11th event of the year and our fourth Pay-Per-View of the year – Are we nerds or what?
I attended the Hell in A Cell event when it was here back in 2010 – Quite a bit has changed since then.
As they ever strive for legitiamacy, the WWE has been holding pre & post wrap up shows a la the NFL and when we arrived to our seats we saw that on this “panel” featured Booker T, Paul Heyman & Alex Riley – These add-on programs as of late have been hosted/moderated by Renee Young who I think is one of the most talented people on their roster in any capacity. She’s also insanely good-looking so being in such close proximity I couldn’t resist taking a creeper shot – hey sue me.
Pre-Show
If you’ve ever ordered one of these PPVs you know that before it goes live at 7pm their’s a 30-minute Pre-Show that serves as something of a commercial for those still on the fence about ordering. They bait you with one or two matches, some easy laughs and tell you the build up to tonight’s matches.
Tonight’s easy laughs came in the form of current tag-team The Miz and Damien Sandow (rebranded Mizdow for this particular gimmick).
I’ve loved Sandow in every capacity he’s been given and this one might one of his best as he’s gotten so over with the crowd as The Miz’s stand-in to his A-List Celebrity gimmick by mimicking everything he does, EVEN THE MOVES THAT ARE BEING EXECUTED ON TO THE MIZ – in hilarious fashion.
1st Match
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
“I have beat Mark Henry four times. That makes me the new world’s strongest man.” —Bo Dallas.
Result – Henry pinned Dallas with the World’s Strongest Slam in a squash.2nd Match –
Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro
Great mat sequence to start the bout. These two guys are so good at still have that underdog feel.
Cesaro brings back the giant swing.
First “This is awesome.” chant of the night.
Best-of-three falls signified that this was a throwback (which I love) but two of the WWE’s best also mixed in plenty of modern touches and high spots.
Result – Dolph Ziggler pinned Cesaro by reversing a pinfall.
Ziggler pinned Cesaro with the Zig Zag to defend his title.3rd Match –
Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella (Loser must become the winner’s personal assistant for 30 days)
I’m a big fan of the Divas division, in fact thanks to competitors like AJ Lee & Paige and a few others, it’s my favorite part of the show.
Sadly I witness alot of misogyny at these things and alot of fans view the Divas matches as bathroom breaks, I’m not one of these types.
However, there is currently a pronounced divide in the Divas division that reflects that of real-life social mobility.
Again you have Divas like AJ & Paige that are taken seriously as actual competitors, and then you have a whole other section of girls that still treat it like a sexy sideshow and make like the Kardashians on this ghastly reality show Total Divas.
The Bella Twins are the main stars on Total Divas and their ring work often reflects where their priorities are though I have seen alot of improvement in both sisters recently, especially Brie. However I was still really pleasantly surprised that they delivered such a legitimately good wrestling match. The action was crisp and stiff, the moves were well-timed and perfectly executed and they got out before something could go wrong.
With the loss to Nikki, Brie must now be her sister’s personal assistant for 30 days, otherwise be forced to quit WWE (kayfabe).
Backstage shortly after their match, Nikki kicked off her sister’s 30-day servitude by forcing Brie to lug her baggage, pack her rental car, prep her reservations and deliver a smoothie with very specific ingredients — all of which were cruelly poured onto Brie’s head by Nikki. It’s not going to be a great month for Brie.4th Match
The Usos vs. Goldust & Stardust
Goldust and Stardust are a real throwback team, tagging frequently. You could see them easily in a match against the Rock and Roll Express in 1986 and being an old school guy, I love it.
Great finishing sequence with the Rhodes brother cheating to win. If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying.
Very quietly the Usos have made a case for themselves as one of the great tag teams in WWE history. In the old days that would propel one of them to singles glory. Not sure, however, which of the two brothers has more potential.Of course, it’s easy to look good in with Goldust. The artist formerly known as Dustin Rhodes is one of the best wrestlers in the entire world. He does the little things that hold a match together and never seems to be in the wrong place.
Result – Goldust pinned Jimmy Uso with a Final Cut after Stardust kicked his leg out from underneath him.
5th Match
John Cena vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell)
Some matches are about the nuances, the little things making all the difference between winning and losing. This was not one of those matches and quite frankly without the Cell I wouldn’t have cared about this match at all.
There was nothing subtle here. I enjoyed this match, but it was like an echo of matches before it. Everything felt familiar. That’s bound to happen when you’ve wrestled 84 previous times on television.
Result – John Cena pinned Randy Orton with an AA through a table.
6th Match
Sheamus vs. The Miz
Mizdow selling moves that Miz gets hit with will never get old.
Mizdow has made Miz must-see television. I don’t think anyone has ever said that before. It may run its course at some point but right now it’s joyous fun.
Result – Sheamus pinned The Miz with a Brogue Kick.7th Match
Rusev vs. The Big Show
This for me would be the definition of a bathroom break – I could give two shits about either performer’s current storyline, nor do either hold anything that’s ever captured my attention for more than 10 seconds (other than Lana that joins Rusev to the ring).
The ‘ol morality play of Nationalists that has always been a big staple in Professional Wrestling. If the Big Show can’t defend our national honor, who can?
Result – Rusev made Big Show tap out to The Accolade.
8th Match
AJ Lee Vs. Paige (Divas Title Match)
For me, this is what I came for and why I bought tickets – AJ Lee & Paige are my No. 1 & 2 faves on the roster regardless of gender.
AJ and Paige were never really portrayed as friends but since their the best two in the division it makes the most sense to have them face each other. However as a storyline is concerned it needed to be built up before it could be torn down.
Result – AJ Lee made Paige submit to the Black Widow
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins (Hell in A Cell)Dean Ambrose comes out looking as creepy as ever. He looks like a dude who would hit on your girlfriend at a bar even though you’re standing right there.
They had done a great job of building the match over the last few weeks, getting Mick Foley (who is synonmous with HIAC) involved suggesting that they were going to attempt to pull something off like Foley did back in the day.
And it was well needed because in recent years the term Hell in A Cell has kinda lost its luster.
A) Because Foley set the bar so high.
B) Because they seem like just regular cage matches as of late.
So I had a feeling that the whole “loose canon” gimmick of Ambrose was gonna get it back there somehow and when he started to climb the Cell to start the match like Foley did in 1998, I knew we were in for something special.
Seth Rollins’ making his lackeys, Mercury and Noble, go up and get Ambrose down.
Rollins sneaks up behind Ambrose, and the three work him over on top of the cage. Ambrose rallies to suplex Noble on the unforgiving steel.
Ambrose dropped a Randy Savage-style elbow off the top rope through a table, and it was only like the eighth-best spot of this crazy match. That’s the kind of match it was
Corporate Kane sprays Ambrose with a fire extinguisher, allowing Rollins to rally with a powerbomb through a table. Payback is going to suck for Mr. Ambrose I bet.
Near fall after a brutal clothesline and a briefcase shot. That’s a heck of a near fall.
Suddenly the lights go out, mumbo jumbo is spoken and………
And then Bray Wyatt appeared as an apparition/hologram to interfere with the match!!
Rollins wins, and the show ends with Wyatt delivering Sister Abigail to Ambrose.
Result Seth Rollins pinned Dean Ambrose after Bray Wyatt interfered.
I loved it, I thought the show was great, and I loved the crazy ending. All in all this was a good experience, we had great seats that we didn’t have to sell an organ to get, the crowd didn’t annoy me like they usually do, we saw AJ Lee and the show was strong throughout. Good times.
