#ASAPRocky

The Rise of Grimes (Fall/2012)

Fun Fun Fun Fest Set – Nov 6th 2011 – Austin

 Everyone has been talking to me about her and its crazy how quickly she has blown up. But people who’s tastes that I trust who I wouldn’t imagine really being into Grimes have mentioned her to me. Her music could be described as a cross between electronic and folk. A few times she looked like she was trying to cast spells over people, and it seemed to work to some extent. It was def working on me, and it was certainly helping my mood that she is super duper cute.

 

In regards to her artistic display, it is both musical and visual, embodying the arts of 2D, performance, dance, video and sound. She also had a guy on stage with her she was incorporating into her act, but was a bit confusing as to what exactly was happening or why.
She had a lot of difficulties performing in the midday sunlight, namely because of her pale, goth-like complexion and also the glare made it difficult for her to read the displays on her keyboards and synthesizers. But, for me, the musical imperfections actually added to the experience, accentuating her youthful naiveté as a musician. This would be normally be pretty easy to dismiss as hipster garbage and I would normally be the one the echo or champion that thought, but she is definitely interesting and would like to see/hear more.

Weird Magic’s Dreams 3.0 Party w/ Grimes (DJ set) – 285 Kent Ave – Brooklyn, NY (Summer 2012

Earlier this year, when I was visiting Texas my friend Tony and I had just seen The Melvins and were chilling at his place and he had asked me if I had ever heard of artist named Grimes. I thought he was referring to an English rapper with a similar name but alas no and me not knowing was kinda proving a point.
See, we had been talking about age as both us are entering our late thirties, as he decides to show me who Grimes is he takes out his laptop and dials up a video and we both stand there, buzzed from the night’s beer, totally entranced.
He said something to me that night that has stuck with me ever since. He said that when he heard Grimes for the first time and then saw the accompanying video, it was the first time that he heard new music that made him feel old. That he was seeing something that was clearly targeted to a youth culture that he can no longer fully identify with. Though he liked the music intensely, it was the first time he had a clear understanding that this was something that no matter how much he enjoyed it, that there were going to be levels of understanding that he would just simply be ineligible to reach simply because of age.
While staring at the screen, I was feeling something palpable to this but when he said this, it articulated exactly what I was feeling, but unable to communicate.

Ok. So why? What is Grimes?

Grimes is the stage name for Claire Boucher, a Canadian girl in her early twenties, who makes experimental electronic music. A Princess Peach voice over synthy, laptop-crafted melodies,the effect is magical and almost bio-rhythmic; it sounds like something from a Utopian future. Also with her intermittently bleached baby bangs & saucer-sized eyes, she looks and acts like a comic book nerd’s dream girl. I went home obsessed and within a couple of days I had bought and listened to everything I could find.

The odd thing is that shortly after that, it was like someone had opened the floodgates or I had just been asleep this whole time because suddenly she was inescapable – Just like that, she was everywhere, but oddly probably had been for awhile but I just never noticed.
In fact, I came to learn in a few short weeks that I had seen Grimes about six months earlier at Fun Fun Fun Fest, was reminded that I had actually been introduced to Claire at SXSW earlier this year, but why where those two interactions so forgettable but that one video turned me into an overnight obsessive?

Regardless, when you are at the apex of your excitement of a new discovery that feeling really only happens once so needless to say I was excited about checking her out tonight.
This meant sojourning back to 285 Kent, the venue that I still had not seen the inside of after a deliberately failed attempt last week when I refused to deal with the Trash Talk crowd and walked over to Brooklyn Bowl to check out Questlove instead.
I was actually prepared for it to be an even bigger shitshow than that one tonight as surely most of this festival was going to attempt to fit into that very small room, but when I got there I was surprised to see no one outside.
Ok – It wasn’t until I went inside that I learned that I had missed the shitshow, that apparently was so bad that everyone stopped trying to get in and left.
Fine by me, but I wasn’t above embarrassment just yet:

When the door guy checked the list and I wasn’t on it, he said that I could take my complaint to the source and turned around and pointed to Claire who just happened to be seated about 3 feet away. Trying to get her attention, this dude points at her a foot from her face and embarrassingly yelling over impossibly loud music ” TTHHAAAT IS GRIMES!!”

 

 

So suddenly Claire and the group of girls she was seated with (that I happened to recognize also included Cassie Ramone of the Vivian Girls) are looking at this guy confusingly and wondering why he’s suddenly so aggressive while they grow increasingly aggressive themselves, and his only answer is to point at me –
To which I refused to look up and face and spent about 3 whole minutes pretending to be putting my I.D. back in my wallet. I really hadn’t planned to even speak to her and now certainly not like this.
Finally one of the girls, assumingly her handler/mgr of some sort takes charge and comes over to me. It’s so deafeningly loud in here that we are barely communicating. She’s trying to blow me off, and she seemed intimidated by the door guy when I said “Just tell this guy I’m cool and I’m sure it will be fine”.
I ultimately had to do it for her and when he looked over at her she begrudgingly just nodded ok and then finally I was in, with quite less dignity than what I started with.

I turn the corner and am actually in the room now – come to find out 285 Kent Ave is really just a small, empty room that looks like it might have been donated by the city to be used as an art space, but the graffiti on the wall and the makeshift drywall in the primitive bathroom could suggests its also used by some homeless gutter punks as a squat house.
The place is beyond packed and going off even more so – it was the epitome of everything I had mentioned earlier and largely in the last entry –
If you are a 15 to 25 year old girl and your favorite show is Girls (this place looked like it could have been the setting for one of its party scenes, except authentic) are currently attending (FIT) (and/or aspire to) and live in Williamsburg, this was like Heaven and Earth combining as one for you – this was your Mecca.
A lawless frontier where members of White Ring, Chairlift & Grimes wait in the bathroom line next to you, as Pictureplane thrills the crowd of what appears to be exclusively American Apparel models.
It was a NYLON Magazine orgy, if you live in Iowa and dream of one day moving to Brooklyn to ride the Slutwave, for you this was Planet Pitchfork.

For me, it was a bit much but the chaotic vibe was a bit infectious – finally it was time for Grimes to do her thing. Given it was only a DJ set, but what sets this apart from her “official” shows? – both consist of her standing and simply pushing buttons, but this time the button she pushes won’t be of her music…maybe..and probably no singing.

 

 

Grimes appears to have the perfect cute to crust ratio, and as much as I hate to admit it, I was powerless to her charm, How could this have happened?? haha –
One thing it could be that I appreciate is, that in her interviews etc. she is always very friendly. It could be because she also has that weird Canadian thing going too, but she always, including tonight, comes off as very positive & charming.
I liked it that instead of trying to play “cool” stuff, she was playing just whatever she wanted and what she wanted was lots of Marilyn Manson and other popular 90s stuff.

Grimes is the ‘alt looking it-girl of the year’, which means that she is paid appearance fees to go to places, they take a picture of her, she gets free shit, and blogs are forced to ‘write about a celeb being at [branded] event. Their was alot of that at this – everywhere I looked I would see other blog bands.
Toward the end of her set, their was a rumble and suddenly ASAP Rocky showed up with AraabMuzik – and the place went completely batshit –

 

 

 

 

Armed with a large bottle of Hennessey and a whole lot of hype, the place just exploded when he arrived and for someone that has an ability to incite chaos pretty easily, the vibe was controlled but yet at a fever pitch, I found myself caught up in it to, right as Grimes perfectly hit play on the button that said Michael Jackson.

I have to admit that the last 45 mins or so of this party that really took off when he arrived was super fun. I had to take a break and the place was starting to fill with casualties. I sat on this couch on the side and almost instantly this girl that was super stylish (and super drunk) started cozying up to me and laying her head on my shoulder. She seemed like she was about to be in trouble soon, so I attempted to comfort her and then asked if she would like for me to give her some water. She gets real excited about the water and tries to kiss me but I let my cheek have it instead. She is super grateful and I walk over to get some water –
This is also a lesson in NYC culture too – check this out –
I walk up to the little makeshift concession area that they are breaking down, tell them about the girl in trouble, ask for a cup of water from their cooler for her.
The girl is very friendly, smiles and turns around and hands me an actual sealed bottle of water.
Taken aback by this geographically unheard of gesture, I smile big and sincerely say “Wow, that’s really nice of you” – to which she replies as her smile fades “That will be three dollars” – Naturally.
I return with the overpriced water not 2 mins from when I left her, to find that she was gone, the douchebags probably got her.
While I’m left there holding a bottle of water I didn’t want wishing it was a slice of pizza instead.

 

 

The Index Festival w/ Grimes, Atlas Genius & more – Oct 5th – Trees – Dallas, TX

Their was alot of activity swirling in Deep Ellum tonight – Trees was hosting the Index Festival all weekend that boasted three stages, the normal one inside and two outdoor stages in their back parking lot. When we got there it seemed like the whole city was there, it was crazy packed with three seperate lines snaked down the block.

Besides the Austin trip, this was one of our first times out and sure I was out to impress so when we get there and they don’t have me on the list, I’m a bit embarassed but in my defense it spoke much larger to how unorgazined this event was. And in their defense I really don’t think they expected this large of a turnout, the space was simply too small, even with the outdoor stages to host this. And surprisingly it was really freaking cold for the first week of October.

 

Not singlehandedly, but what was causing a decent percentage of this mad rush? – Grimes
I’ve talked about her before in this blog – I saw her at Fun Fun Fun Fest last year and just recently this summer I saw her DJ at a crazy party in Brooklyn.

With her intermittently bleached baby bangs, saucer-sized eyes, and tendency to curse, she looks and acts like a comic book nerd’s dream girl. She makes and distributes her songs which are a Princess Peach voice over synthy, laptop-crafted melodies. The effect is magical and biorhythmic; it sounds like something from a utopian future. She is also the ‘alt looking it-girl of the year which means that she is paid appearance fees to go to places, they take a picture of her, she gets free shit, and blogs are forced to ‘write about a celeb being at [branded] event.’
she just ‘presses play’, pretends to play twist knobs, and sings in her sillie voice but she has the perfect cute to crust ratio and is super charming.

 

 

 

Looking dramtically different than that blonde girl I met over the summer, she looked and was dressed like she just woke up – hair now died jet black & green, wearing an oversized Marilyn Manson t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Her ever changing look/style is evocative of most interesting women.
Another crucial point to the festival’s unorganization is that the PA kept cutting out or failing all together during her set.
She is such a nice person though that she never complained and tried to stay positive, but after it was over it didn’t really feel like we had seen her perform.
And again what would that entail exactly?

To be honest this was the only act I wanted to see (tonight) at this festival – The Supersuckers & Speed Dealer were playing at a seperate capacity across the street and that was our next move but we still had alot of time before that was going to start.

We were hungry and tonight was the make-it-or-break-it Wild Card game for the Texas Rangers so I wanted to find a spot to grab a bite, get warm and catch some of the game before we headed over there.
We found the perfect spot just next door at Zini’s Pizzeria, given the large crowd I couldn’t believe how dead it was which was perfect. We had the place literally to ourselves, we ate pizza got warm and watched the game. Sadly after being in first place all year long they lose the last three to Oakland sending them to this Wild Card against Baltimore and lose again tonight, thus ending their season. I was bummed, Jess could care less but was a good sport.

 

Catalpa NYC w/ Snoop Dogg, Girl Talk, A$AP Rocky, Matt & Kim & more (July/2012)

Catalpa NYC w/ Snoop Dogg, Girl Talk, A$AP Rocky, Matt & Kim and more – July 29th – Fairgrounds – Randall’s Island, NY

It had been pouring down raining for three days straight, and I could have actually come to this yesterday as it was a two day event but there really wasn’t anyone playing that would have got me out in the rain. Not to be cynical but their wasn’t anyone playing today that would have got me out in the rain either, so lucky for them it was nice and sunny today haha!
Since Snoop Dogg was playing naturally High Times Magazine was a sponsor and we have done some work with them and my buddy Billy from the magazine invited me out to represent TrickyKid at the event.
I love coming out to Randall’s Island, I’ve only been here really one other time a few years ago but its a really cool spot.
This was the festival’s inaugural year, and music festivals without a historical following or a known brand identity can employ many strategies in their inaugural year, one of which is “Appeal to as many prospective demographics as possible.” so they decided to combat this problem by throwing together a bunch of popular-ish acts and some quirky attractions—art, fire, a chance to “elope” with a fellow Snoop Dogg fan.

The musicians played across three stages, with a whole host of corporate sponsorships filling the gaps between the performance spaces.
A car company set up an obstacle course to demonstrate the trunk space and cool factor of its new trucks; a web site handed out face paint and animal masks. My personal favorite booth promoted a kind of guarana/caffeine pill that is supposed to be dropped into water, making it turn all fizzy and orange like an Alka-Seltzer from Hell—half an hour after it’s imbibed, your heart is doing high-speed interval training inside your chest. Vodka was hawked in what looked like a sprawling series of igloos and at Billy’s insistence I had to play corporate whore and take a branded picture for one of the sponsors.

 

There were other, less corporate, uninjectable attractions, many of which failed to reach their full potential due to Saturday’s rain. A fire demonstration was canceled; the bumper cars were nowhere to be found; one operations employee informed me that it took nine hours to set up the bounce castle that would serve as the “house of sham marriages.”

 

Matt & Kim

Matt Johnson and Kim Schilfino‘s brand of joyous, keyboard-driven dance-pop was more in line with festival-goers’ tastes. It also helped that after a six-month hiatus, Matt and Kim were grinning like fools on laughing gas and kicking into each and every song with abandon. Kim volunteered to the crowd that she had been aggressively Kegeling because she wanted “to fuck the shit out of you tonight.” Matt demanded that she booty-dance on top of her drum kit & both performed exuberant acrobatics that left the crowd whooping, cheering and trying desperately to catch up through the power of stomp-and-shout dancing.

 

 

Kim was particularly bouncy, covering the crowd in confetti, booty dropping, and inadvertently hitting Matt’s mic during their predictable finale Daylight.“I get crazy and just wanna hit shit,” she apologized. They recovered quickly, starting over again from the top of the very long introduction.

 

 

In my last entry I spun a seething, spiteful tale resonating with resentment about the current crop of hipsters and just hipster culture at large. To be clear I never said I hated fun and as minimalist as their music is and how much of it lends itself to all of that, just on their positivity and sheer enthusiasm alone they get a pass. I’ve seen Matt & Kim close to 30 times now and they never fail to put a smile on my face.

Girl Talk

So I left that stage and took a break by exploring some of the other areas of the festival. As I was coming out of this maze like structure I spot a girl who is just too cute to let pass and she is alone so I approach to say hello. She returns my warmth and in seconds we are laughing and telling stories – She is beyond hot.
So much so that I lose track of logic, but I was quickly headed for Earth when her boyfriend shows up returning from the restroom.
You know how when you are in public at a high traffic place like this and you leave your girl for a second to go the restroom, and on the way back it occurs to you that your girl is fine enough that when you return their is gonna be some asshole trying to talk her up? – In this situation I am now that asshole.
The awkward introduction is made and I leave them to it and head toward the stage where Girl Talk is starting.

 

 

If you don’t already know, Girl Talk uses samples to incite a fever in the crowd, though he doesn’t tease them out slowly; he introduces bushels of familiar singles to the crowd, tossing off old pop songs and rap hooks like grapes. I’ve seen the show a few times and this one was essentially the same act, with slightly new 20-second sound bytes, wisely pulled from this year’s top 40.
But very few people at Catalpa minded. The move toward the main stage when Gillis started whipping his hair back and forth was by far the festival’s biggest migration, and that’s because Gillis is really good at what he does. He knows the songs that make a certain group of people go “ooo!” He knows surface-level pop in nearly every genre.
He compensated for his lack of showy instrumentation by hopping up and down & pulling dozens of young people (almost exclusively female) on stage, and blinding the crowd with neon letters to “JUMP JUMP JUMP.”  a few alcohol-soaked guys shot streamers of toilet paper into the crowd, its all well suited to the ADD Twitter generation.

 

 

For a festival without a solid identity, where no one could really decide exactly what they wanted to hear, Girl Talk was a perfect fit. After all, he played everything.

A$AP Rocky

It was now dark and I wandered over to the other stage after Girl Talk had finished, for no other reason than just to see who was playing. The only other group that I knew that had yet to perform was Snoop Dogg, and despite his Willie Nelson-like status, I’ve seen it more than once and if there was something over here more interesting than I would just stay put.
A$AP Rocky was the last of the idiosyncratically New York acts to perform; he was competing directly with Girl Talk’s mainstage set, and he was finishing up by the time I showed up. He was plagued by relatively poor sound quality, but his desire to “fuck a jiggy bitch” was received with raucous laughter and a succession of enthusiastic candidates who were clearly confident about their inherent jigginess. (Rocky was one of only three rap acts, all of whom were slotted in on Sunday.)

 

 

I honestly could care less, though I like that he is probably the only person I have heard of to denounce homophobia in Hip-Hop, I saw him twice earlier this year at SXSW, including the festival-ending riot of violence that his group caused and I was really none too impressed. People will say that nerdy dudes like hip-hop to be subdued and conscientious and a guy like ASAP is too “thug”, but to be clear ASAP Rocky is marketed to the same Pitchfork driven social construct as any shoe-gazing indie-rock band. If just by being here doesn’t prove that, I have another example later in this entry.

Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg, has quietly transformed into a new-school American icon with a long career and a safe persona. But even though he’d clearly been chosen for his relative mass appeal, Snoop played the entirety of his 1993 classic Doggystyle. Though Snoop’s set was practiced and smooth, aided by pulpy videos which furthered his myth, it was funny to see the crowd bemused by such classic rap tracks as Murder was the Case or Stranded on Death Row

 

 

G funk is fast approaching its thirties and not aging well, by this crowd as they responded most to the two songs Snoop played last: Drop it Like it’s Hot and Young, Wild, And Free the latter of which has what may very well be the dumbest lyric enunciated most sincerely ever of “Sometimes we get drunk, sometimes we smoke weed, we’re just having fun, we don’t care who sees… we’re young and wild and free.” It’s probably the least divisive chorus that could be performed at a music festival.
I was standing watching him sidestage and thought I was getting a contact high cause I looked over and did a double-take to see Cyndi Lauper standing next to me.

People watching at these things are way more entertaining than most of the bands usually and this being NYC it can make it even more so.
Here are a few interesting things I saw –

Leighton Meester

 

 

 

 

Gossip Girl’s Queen Bee herself, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a huge fan of the show though its total bullshit I watch it religiously (at least I did when Taylor Momsen was still on) – I thought it was cool that she was out in the crowd rawking with everybody else instead of watching from backstage.

Cyndi Lauper

Like I mentioned earlier, I thought I was getting a contact high during Snoop when I spotted Lauper standing next to us.

..and let’s not forget the fans – One thing I enjoy, especially in NYC is their is always “the trend” – it happens every Summer and you will see every girl of every walk of life sporting it. This year some may find a bit more difficult to attempt as the thing I saw everywhere was really high-waisted short shorts.

All in all for this festival for me the results were mixed; the lineup succeeded in having a broad appeal, but lacked a coherent musical aesthetic. Many of the non-musical attractions were spoiled by the rain yesterday and, faced with the prospect of surviving on its artists alone, it became a referendum on its performers’ current positions within the musical landscape.
Catalpa didn’t quite deliver on its admittedly ambitious extra-musical plans, but it provided a great opportunity to investigate those artists operating at the borders of the mainstream.

SXSW 2012: Erykah Badu Rocks Red Bull & ASAP Rocky riots at VICE & more

Day 4 – march 17th

I eventually made my way in to this fucking place as the Crystal Method was starting their set:

They were the same as they every were, forgettable but fun, and this crowd needed some fun right about now.
This would be extended as after their set a dude a came out to introduce a special guest that he accompanied with a fun story – The guest turned out to be a blissed out set from my man Questo from the Roots:

I felt like it was Thurs and I was back in Brooklyn at the Bowl Train party he throws weekly. He did just what he does best, play shit you wished you owned, from Slum Village and J Dilla joints you only hope to hear again one day.

The place started to jump and get a little restless in anticipation for Erykah Badu who was debuting her new act tonight, a group with the unfortunate play off the word cannabis – The Cannabanoids.
I couldn’t be more tired of the hip-hop/weed synergy – I don’t think even Cypress Hill raps about marijuana anymore.
However, I am a huge fan of hers and like everyone here was excited to see what she had up her sleeve.

The band takes the stage, which consists of just a bunch of producers taking their place behind their laptops or samplers, as she makes an entry only she is capable of. However this momentum was totally squandered by the most irritating intro tape ever –
This intro loop with its accompanying video footage would introduce each member and the joke was that they each had so many a.k.a’s – Ok this a bit a funny, but they would spend seriously like 2-3 mins on each member and their were like NINE OF THEM!!
That means that the crowd had to wait seriously another 15-20 mins while being assaulted by this thing.

The concept as she explained it, or more accurately boasted, was this whole thing was an improvised “jam” meant to show off the individual as well collective talents of the group – all plugged into one brain so to speak – Badu even had a prop of a brain to illustrate this. However the results were pretty disastrous and totally weird even for her. This might work at a really intimate venue on a late Tuesday, but this was Saturday night, St. Patrick’s Day, in a giant open-air festival on the final day of the festival, everyone has reached their limit and the only thing that’s keep them going is a party – so to subject them to some strange vanity project was a bit naive I thought. Badu could tell too, as with each jam came another collective sigh that people had climbed the fence to see this and were disappointed. Several times she asked “What’s up? Yall not feeling this?” – Sorry Erykah but no.

It was almost midnight and I wanted to stick around for Z-Trip and had heard that Nas was gonna make an appearance, but for the first time this festival, I was just plain bored, by myself and tired of standing on the pavement. Their was one business associate that I still hadn’t met up with this trip and tonight being the last night and now close to midnight, I should probably makes some plans like now to do so right?
No sooner had I thought that, she text me to come hang and see one of her artists – we have been texting all week, but she can be a little unpredictable in my experience so I hadn’t been willing to make much effort but now, this was perfect. She gives me the address, I’m about 6 blocks away so I head on over.
When I get to the address she gave me, it was some abandoned building, but it was across from the Pure Volume Party and I thought, “not this shit again?” – So I text her to ask, and she realizes that she has given me the wrong address – ok, shit happens, so I know I go to the RIGHT address, 3 more blocks away, that I BELIEVE is the address, and when I get there, it is but her artist had already finished, and then she notifies me via text, that also had already split – WTF?? you invite me over, give me shit directions and then leave before I get there??
She explained that they had to head to the performer’s next gig and that we could meet over there and that she would leave my name at the door – Ok fair enough, and this next gig was at the infamous festival-closing Vice Party –
For those that don’t know, since 1998 when I first started attending this festival, their is always the ultimate party that ends the festival on the last day – it used to be the Spin Magazine Party, that was held in some remote place every year that you weren’t told until the day of the party. I remember seeing the Flaming Lips in an abandoned used car dealership at 3am standing next to Tom Waits and Jeanane Garafolo.
For the last couple of years its been (appropriately) the Vice Party – always the young gunslingers associated with violence (last year it was Off! and Odd Future) free booze and the ultimate in bragging rights for those that give two shits about such a thing. It’s primarily like I mentioned before, the last party, and everyone, regardless of who’s playing wants to say that they made it to the finish line.

Quite frankly for me, I could give two shits, the party starts at 1am and is supposedly going till 7am – God fucking help us.
Kelly had made it out and she was with Matt over at Scoot Inn, that was conveniently one city block from the Vice Party, so I got invites for all of us and decided to go out with a fucking bang.

Unbelievable I found parking rather easy but that is where my good luck ran out. Kelly and Matt where gonna meet me when their show was over, but what greeted me at the venue was a shitshow, to end all shitshows – the perfect summation of the vibe,dysfunction and all of my aggravations with the festival this year, and just current youth culture at large.
Remember how I keep mentioning that if you were not on a band’s list you weren’t getting into anything this year – at this fucking thing their were actual performers having trouble accessing the building.
The people out front were not getting in period, thankfully I had an ace in the hole (or so I thought) at the side door where the artists’ were entering to use my invites.
I get over there and let me tell you something – what transpired was one of the most vulgar displays of social hierarchy from the grossest generation ever to exist – it was like Lord of the Flies on Hipster Island brought to you by Iphone and Isanyoneup.com – these fucking soul-less vampires were ready to eat each other for entry. Because what it meant to these bloodsuckers wasn’t the booze or the bands that I’m sure they had barely heard of if it all, it meant the inner sanctum for those that care about such things – with all the Facebook and Twitter and just constant self-promotion of their inane thoughts and postings of 10 clothes changes a day, it meant they had won the attention whore contest motherfucker and fuck her if she don’t like it.

I get up to the door and its such chaos that I can’t even get out if I changed my mind, and if I was alone, I would have just gone home, but I didn’t wanna disappoint Kelly and Matt who were expecting me, in fact Matt was downright harassing me via text, and I wanted to keep my business meeting.
People were actually fighting to get in and revolting by just jumping over the check-in table causing a fire-hazard crush blocking the door to get in.
It could have been a reformed Talking Heads playing inside and wouldn’t have subjected myself to this based on the verbiage alone:
“I know so -and-so – do you know who I am bitch? – my daddy OWNS this building – why don’t you follow me on Twitter?” – etc.
My buddy Nate could see me from the inside and offered a suggestion of a bribe to gain entry – if only I could get to someone even to negotiate that without getting killed.
So I text the business associate that invited me who had been giving me the run around earlier and here is where shit gets beyond weird:
She comes to the door, sees me, smiles, acknowledges me, but is now scanning the crowd again – I yell to her if she has any suggestions in a humouros manner, she ignores me. OK, I get her attention again while she’s looking around, and annoyed she curtly states that she can’t get me in to this party, as if she had completely forgotten inviting me in the first place – WTF??
Seconds later, while we are facing each other she texts me that “She doesn’t see me” – huh?
I hold up my phone to her and say “ummm…I’m right here….” – for which again even more curtly she states – “I can’t get you into this party!” – is this chick crazy?
So I hold up my phone to show her that she had just text me, and say “Oh yeah? well you just sent me this text looking for me” –
She looks back at her phone – realizing her mistake and without apologizing or even fucking ACKNOWLEDGING ME she walks back inside leaving me to rot with a sea of American Apparel employees.
A glutton for punishment, I couldn’t resist texting her if she had been texting the wrong person all night, or hell maybe all fucking week!

Finally I gain entry, my man A-Trak was also stuck outside and he squeezed me in – Matt had pulled some Matt shit and got in so all we had to do now was find each other.
I arrived just in time to see A$AP Rocky and his crew of 12 or so bringing their punk-inspired ruckus to the crowd. But, as the clocked edged closer to 3 a.m., shit was starting to turn nasty.
As the group, who encourage that stage diving shit, was in the middle of its set, an overeager crowd surfer grabbed one of the A$AP Mob’s doo-rags, causing the group to stop the show until it was safely returned. Unsurprisingly, the audience, themselves St. Patrick’s Day drunk and exhausted, didn’t’t take well to alot of inane berating the group was laying down and began throwing beer at the performers.

While A$AP pleaded for a truce so that they can get back to partying, another free beer made its way to the stage, prompting a warning: If one more drink that was not water was thrown, there would be “a beatdown.”
As soon as the words exited his mouth, a foamy beverage struck several members of the crew, and that’s when all hell broke loose. Quickly, the entire stage was vacated, and fists, bodies and blood were splattered across the floor.
You can see a brief video here –

The whole thing took five minutes tops, but left several audience members injured, and soon the police and security cleared the venue — four hours before the party was due to end.

I didn’t want anyone to get hurt naturally and was hoping my friends were ok, but if this means we can get the fuck out of here now, than I would have stolen that mothefuckers bandanna and started all kinds of shit an hour ago.
The place is in total chaos as the police are making everyone evacuate – I head for the exit and take to finding my friends once I’m outside, which looks like a battle zone as I’m seeing people hurt and nursing bloody head wounds.
As with last year’s Death From Above 1979 riot, SXSW 2012 ended with a striking display of violence.

I tell them to meet me on the side, and we finally meet up – Kelly looks like a million and one dollars in this strapless mini-dress, a ray of light at the exact moment I needed it.
Fuck it, now I wanted to dance with her so let’s find another party?

As we were walking to my car, I hear someone calling my name, and its my old buddy Eric Castillo, a fine DJ from Houston, who the last time I saw, ironically was last year at the Vice Party.
I tell him that we are headed (once again) to the ol’ faithful, the Pure Volume Party – and he and his friend join our little posse.
When we get there, and it was now 3:30am, the party was already over and apparently for similar reasons as the Vice Party.
Man, people are really fried this year –
Ok, last ditch hope is a few blocks away is the Hype Hotel – where we had our showcase on Wed – where it all began – how fitting to come full circle and the end the festival here.
We get there and of course they are not letting anyone else in, but the promoter sees me and waves us in and is generous to give us all drink tickets as well.
Alls well that ends well

See ya next year (maybe)….

Photos –

Roy Turner
Michael Plata
Jan Janner
Oscar Amos
Destiny Mata

SXSW 2012: MTVu Woodie Awards, Girl Talk Rocks Nike + Tenacious D & more

Ok, so after just a few hours sleep, it was time to get back out there. This is how it goes during SXSW – no sleep, steady diet of booze and BBQ, few showers, lots of walking and impulsive behavior.
First thing on the agenda was taking Matt to work but he had some errands he needed me to take him on first, so I thought we would grab lunch as well. Matt is all about the Thai food and I wanted to show some gratitude for his hospitality.
Over lunch he completely fucked my head up by dropping some personal bombs on me that were nuclear. I left there stunned after dropping him off and headed on take on the day –

Day 2 – March 15th

So after a few meetings and other loose ends I went over to the site where they were holding this year’s MTVu Woodie Awards –
I went last year, and it was a total red-carpet, star-studded affair with big names like the Foo Fighters etc. This year was going to be a little different as it was going to be outdoors and preceded by a little mini-festival called the Woodie Fest that was open to the public.
Not as elite and guarded as last year seemed more like the Grammys, so I was happy that it was going to be a more relaxed fair.
I get over there first for Woodie Fest to see ASAP Rocky –

 

 

It really seems like hip-hop mixtapes are the new indie-rock – Because the only press that picks up on them are the blogosphere and its readership is made up of usually white, 30-something nerdy obsessives – and at the Hip-Hop shows I saw this week that’s what made up mostly its entire audience – those people think that being in on something first is currency and since street lingo seems to change weekly, being on the ground floor of breaking hip-hop artists is tailor-made for this demographic. ASAP Rocky is perfect example of this, and to a lesser extent the act that followed – Machine Gun Kelly

 

Not bad but def more hype than skill –

The entire environment surrounding this event is drenched in douchebaggery – Their are amazing hot girls every where I look, but its those really hot girls that seem to date the worst dudes, with shitty tattoos – The obnoxious hipster set in colorful clothing, the fratty drunken shirtless dudes and their female counterparts, and I – the lone wolf walking alone amongst them in an hopelessly corporate parade of absurd proportions.
Who am I to complain? They really knew how to pander to this crowd – My wristband came with attached drink tickets – far too many for one person, and for THIS one person – Their were endless “lounges” hosted by a global entity –
For example, one could stroll along and visit the Reeses Lounge and help themselves to an endless supply of chocolate –
Go next door for the free BBQ and booze, and then walk down to the Good Humor booth for free dessert –

All of this and now the awards show is beginning that is hosted by one of those Jersey Shore dudes –
Again, who am I to complain? The girls are hot and everything in site is free, but their is a looming feeling that I completely do not belong here.
After some dubious awards are given to people that I have never heard of or have no interest in, my mood does turn cheery (free beer & BBQ does that to a man) with the anticipation of seeing Santigold –

 

She only did two numbers, but I think she is fantastic and I’m really looking forward to her show at the Spin Party tomorrow.
The actor/comedian dude Donald Glover from that show Community has a band called Childish Gambino that I saw at Fun Fun Fun Fest the last time I was in Austin last Fall, that were actually really good and they were supposed to perform next but apparently Glover fractured his foot and they had to cancel.
Instead we got another white-mediocre-over-hyped rapper,Mac Miller, who also won a bunch of these silly awards (if only contrivity and manufactured good were rewarded….wait…they are!)

 

Last but not least was probably the most unnecessary – They saved the biggest clown shoe for last, and is their really anybody with a more punchable face than Steve Aoki? – The lameness of his grand entrance of streaming above the crowd in an inflatable raft was completely lost on everyone here – He might as well of just had his limo parked onstage –

And for the next 20 mins or so he did his Aoki thing with huge gestures and insufferable mixes while Lil Jon and some dude in a colorful jacket he will one day regret wearing on television, pandered to the crowd as if they were selling hot dogs at a ball game.
I at least found some like-minded people as we had a mini-pot going guessing the amount Mr. Aoki was paid for 20 mins of his services for this thing – We dropped it as it was too depressing to think about.

Suddenly, a giant cake is produced for reasons that are unclear, I don’t know if or whose birthday it was or the occasion, but it did also produce perhaps one of the most irritating photos I’ve ever seen that makes my case solid –

 

However, I am so super happy to report that seconds after this little look at what a walking party I am pose – fortune smiled down on us all as Aoki lost his footing and fell off the stage with cake in tow, head-first as he actually pie-to-the-face himself. He was not injured so I can make fun of him. A fitting end to a super cheesy event.

So now I head from there over to this little joint called Haven, to see the mighty Tenacious D – Oddly enough, the only other time I have ever seen them live (and had not a clue who they were at the time like most people) was also here at SXSW, 12 freaking years ago.
I remember we went to see the Delta 72 and Modest Mouse, and after the Mouse had played, suddenly these two fat dudes come out and all 5k people at Austin Music Hall started freaking out and knew who these guys were (except us) – This was a bit before Jack Black’s film career took off.
I’m sorry to say that I missed openers Riverboat Gamblers – One of the best live bands you will ever see – Their singer Mike is an old friend and we used to work at the same record store several lifetimes ago.
But out comes the D and the place explodes –

 

Now, as funny and entertaining I find Jack Black and I do find some of their songs fun, I don’t count myself as a member of the tribe. That over-the-top sorta comedy has never done it for me – I have never found Jim Carrey or Will Ferrel funny in the least, though I’m sure they are both really funny men. They do it in a way that can entertain me for a bit, but its like being at a GWAR show, I can get excited, but after having blood squirted on me the 4th time, I’m usually over it.

I was scheduled to meet up with some suits after this for some drinks and where we were meeting caused me to pass by the Girl Talk party. I honestly also don’t give a fuck about Girl Talk or his annoying fanbase, but that motherfucker does throw one hell of a party, and I figured at SXSW it would probably be worth checking out. I also know that every person under 25 in a 10 mile radius would be trying to get in, and when I walked by the line, that was certainly confirmed.

 

I meet with the corporate folks and as we are about to wrap, I mentioned something about the ridiculous line at Girl Talk, (not realizing that I was talking to the sponsors of the event) cause they mentioned they were heading over there. That’s when they told me they were sponsors and asked me if I wanted to join them. Ok sure –

This is the essence of this conference – one minute I’m having drinks discussing sponsorship opportunities, the next I’m in a hollowed out Spaghetti Warehouse watching an unfathomably popular mash-up DJ, turning the place out like its Mardi Gras/NYE/4th of July combined, with free booze, covered in confetti, with the room all losing their shit.

 

Stay tuned for Day 3!!

Photos –

Roy Turner
Zachary Strain
Nate “Igor” Smith
Adam Sweeney
Karla Esquivel
John Davisson